At its best the VHS cassette cover was a mini work of art telling you everything that’s good about the movie inside the box. At worst, well it’s just video clickbait offering up spurious imagery of sex and violence created by (it would seem) drug-addled monkeys left in a room way too long with typewriters and a whole set of day-glo paints to play with.
I could be wrong but it would seem that the VHS cover art genre has consistently offered up the very worst promotional art imaginable. I know there are plenty of self-published e-books out there with ghastly homemade photoshop covers that a five-year-old could do better with their eyes shut—but VHS tape covers were created by the paid talents of an artist—who painted the picture, a graphic designer—who produced the typographer and a sales guy—who obviously had no talent whatsoever, certainly no taste, but apparently the largest say on what went on the label. Rummage through any VHS bin in your local thrift store and you’ll find plenty of these crimes against culture
It should also be noted for the edification of future generations that these lurid retina-burning creations were not just the preserve of the USA—every country in the world had their own taste bypass when it came to the packaging for movies on VHS. This little gallery offers a stocktake of VHS covers from Germany during the 1980s.
No, not a tale of dark and depraved demonic sex but ‘The Howling.’
What the heck is it about?
Compared to the US poster this VHS cover does not do justice to the utter weirdness of Oliver Stone’s debut feature ‘Seizure’ where Jonathan Frid is terrorized by a trio of villains—a Queen of the Night, a dwarf called Spider and a strongman. The film was allegedly bankrolled by gangster money.
Not exactly Edgar Allan Poe but Jess Franco’s ‘Revenge in the House of Usher’ starring Howard Vernon.
Yvonne De Carlo of ‘The Munsters’ wreaks her revenge with her pet Rottweiler.
‘Friday the 13th’ writer/director Sean S. Cunningham’s ‘House 3’ aka ‘The Horror Show.’
‘Human Force’ (aka ‘The ‘Human’ Factor’) starring George Kennedy, John Mills and Rita Tushingham. Never bodes well when the composer (Ennio Morricone) is billed above the stars.
Zombie movie ‘Hell of the Living Dead’ by exploitation director Bruno Mattei made under the pseudonym Vincent Dawn.
X-rated British sex-comedy ‘Keep It Up, Jack’ starring Mark Jones and Sue Longhurst, directed by Derek Ford.
Italian sex-comedy star and Miss Teenage Italia 1974 Gloria Guida in one of her many soft porn movies.
‘Supersonic Man’ about an extraterrestrial sent to help Earth defeat the evil Doctor Gulik (who else but Cameron “so bad he’s good” Mitchell…) from taking over the world.
Comedy crime drama about three superboys.
The Comic Strip presents…their first feature film the rather awful ‘Supergrass’ which has one epic scene with Robbie Coltrane and a chainsaw. All that talent and so little comedy…
Dick Van Dyke was first choice to star but he was busy so producer Menahem Golan hired Oliver Reed for the role as Dr. Heckyl an ugly podiatrist who turns into a handsome devil-may-care ladies man Mr. Hype. A dire movie but not as bad as this cover…
The dreadful ‘Jaws 4’
H/T Flashbak.