“Hey, this smells like shit, smell this.”

A few years back, I posted a couple of videos of Dallas-area cable access tragedy, R&B performer, “Roye’L” with his “new style” “fresh alternative” music (“a blend of sounds from the past, the present and THE FUTURE.”) but they were taken down by YouTube pretty quickly.

Looking for something else (not even remotely related, I might add) I recently came across these videos again, plus another one that I hadn’t seen before.

Here’s “I Found A Girl,” Roye’L’s pleading lovesick lovesong to a girl he’s trying to win back… Christ, I wonder why she fucking left him?
 

 
After I posted this, a DM reader named “deighv heart” wrote in to alert me to a second Roye’l video:

this is good, but its nothing compared to the citizen kane of sucking which is roye’l’s “in my world”. its awesome on so many levels.

1. the outfit: vest sans shirt, tacky print shorts, scarf around the neck, mismatched kneepads, timberland hiking boots with white athletiuc socks pulled up high, blond braids, gold dangly earrings.

2. the rapping & singing

3. the dancing.

4. the shrug when he’s finished while the song fades out.

5. the post performance interview when he concedes that he doesn’t have any gigs or dates lined up for the future.

all together one of the best bad things on the net!

Too true, but you could add to that list the goofy lipstick kiss imprint on his cheek, his frenzied genital strumming and the fact that he’s totally out of breath by mid-song.

Roye’L is an absolute genius of sucking. If you made $1 for every watt of “suckage” you are capable of generating, Roye’L would be as rich as Mitt Romney.
 

 
“Bleed,” another of Roye’L’s classic performances on Dallas cable access. I’m guessing this must be about the same girl who he’s trying to win back in the first song? She probably took out a restraining order immediately after she saw this…