The Hans F. Hansen Mansion
 
A bold new vision of a sexual utopia where women rule and men are mere erotic playthings at the service of the Supreme Yoni has sprung from the fetid brain pan of former Scandinavian soccer champ and current cosmetics king Hans F. Hansen.

Ladies, that tingling sensation you’re feeling is not a hot flash, it is the flush of pride and sensation of empowerment that the mere mention of Hansen’s name instills in women the world over.

Hansens manifesto:

For decades, The Playboy Mansion has been a playground For Men where Playmates have entertained millions of guests with their bunny costumes, a genius concept perfectly executed by a once young and vivacious idealist. However, that once young man, along with his rabbit tricks, are now old, decrepit and stale. It is time for a new mansion, a new playground where women set the standard. The Hans F Hansen Mansion will be a place of Elegance and Mystery, where guests will reach a level of thorough entertainment not only through it’s intoxicating atmosphere, but also by the exotically beautiful, multitalented, and worldly Hans F Hansen Dames. Isn’t it time for change? We say YES.. It Is.

Among the many pleasures of Hansen’s mansion will be fat-free cookies!

THE MANSION of Hans F Hansen will be a beautiful and sophisticated environment for women, where only “Gentlemen” are welcome. Our mansion is unlike any other mansion of it’s kind because, although it is made up OF WOMAN, it is also made FOR WOMEN. If a man is allowed inside, it is only because he has made an oath to treat woman with respect and enjoy them as beautiful free spirits, not as objects whose sole purpose is to cater to or amuse him. This mansion is GENTLEMEN ONLY.

The Mansion is home to Hans F Hansen, The Hans F Hansen Dames, and many Exclusive Events, Celebrity Private Parties, and Charity Gala’s. This incredible space is not only a living quarters, and event venue, but it also serves as the bootcamp facility where the The Dames’ will learn to be Ultimate Power Woman - Poised, Worldly, Well-Spoken and Multi-Talented.

The Hans F Hansen Dames will grace the rooms of every Mansion event. Guests will be charmed and amazed as these women carry on political conversations, mix delicious drinks, and whip up batches of fat-free cookies!

With several rooms, each having it’s own theme, The Mansion also has a SECRET ROOM. This room is FOR SPECIAL MEMBERS ONLY. Unfortunately, we can not divulge the activities in which this room will be made infamous by a select few, but rest assured, you want an invitation.

The Mansion of Hans F Hansen, Elegant and Sexy, has an intoxicatingly serene essence of Venice that leaves one feeling uninhibited… longing for the next event…

Hansen has issued a challenge to Hugh Hefner that should send the adult entertainment industry spinning off its orbit:

Hugh Hefner’s superior has finally arrived – Hans F Hansen of Scandinavia. Is it possible for Hans F Hansen, founder of the sophisticated brand Below Your Belt, to create a new Entertainment Brand that will surpass the infamous Playboy Empire? Is it time for Hans F Hansen? We say YES… It Is.

The world of Glamour, Sexuality, Women, and Entertainment can finally evolve into something new. If you are a Visionary and a Believer, EVERYTHING is possible.”

The creator of BYB intimate shave cream ( perfectly hairless pubes for the “smooth generation”) and self-described “amalgam of Virgin Atlantic’s Sir Richard Branson and Gucci’s debonair Tom Ford” has a website where you can stay up-to-date on his progress in creating an Amazonian paradise.

Will Hefner’s already struggling empire survive Mr. Below Your Belt’s assault? You be the judge. Here’s Hansen in all his magnetic glory:
 

 
Via Reddit