Lock up your Pop-Tarts®...

We all know that teenagers aspire to be famous, like it’s some kind of Warholian birthright in the age of social media, but with the barrier of entry being so low these days, just about anyone can actually achieve fame, if only fleetingly. It doesn’t take a lot of effort per se, or even any discernable talent, or the barest hint of charisma… just a gimmick.

Take for example Thot Pocket, aka @VERSACEPOPTARTS, the… erm… whippersnapper The Daily Dot is calling a “Twitter folk hero.” What did he do to deserve to called a folk hero you ask? Well, first he got a little famous for violating a box of Pop-Tarts® and posting a video of himself doing so on Vine. (Thot shot the video himself in case you were wondering, it was a selfie.)

Talk about product placement, this is more like product debasement.
 

 
Capitalizing on his newfound notoriety, Thot had another thought: He tweeted to his followers that when he got 420 retweets of his tart-popping production, he would make brand new works of food pr0n. First he’d fuck a Hot Pocket®, then he’d a do donut and then he’d get jiggy with some Jell-O. No surprise, he got those 420 retweets and promptly made a video of himself violating a microwavable pastry and posted this to his Vine account, too.

Soon thereafter, Thot lost his Vine account, but he was proudly defiant:
 

 
No, no one can take that away from you, Thot… though who would dare try?

According to The Daily Dot, Thot Pocket has now also lost his Twitter account. Still, I doubt this will be the last we hear of him.

But who am I to speak: I once showcased (inflicted?) Rocketboy, the self-described half human/half cat “intergalactic super-hero” who stuck his dingus in a can of creamed corn in an adult film, on network British television. Here’s a moment from the old Disinformation series, if you dare…