Who knew puffy jackets were a turn-on? Illustration by artist Dominic Myatt from the 2016 book ‘(no kissing).’ Text reads: “I’ve got a real fetish for masc lads wearing puffs/padded jackets. If this is something your interested in too, hit me up and we can chat and hopefully meet. Send pic in first email along with stats for response.”
 
There are so many things to love about London-based artist Dominic Myatt‘s illustrated “m4m” (men for men) Craigslist personal ads. Such as the fact that he kept all the various typos from the original ads (genius), and his wildly inappropriate interpretations of the people who placed the ads themselves caught in the act of their requested liaisons. Thanks to Japanese publisher MNK Press, (no kissing) a book featuring 30 of Myatt’s m4m illustrated ads can be yours for about 34 bucks. According to other Internet sources, (no kissing) will soon be available from a UK publisher as well. I’ve included a few of Myatt’s incredibly specific illustrations from (no kissing) below. And, much like some of the characters you might, er, cum across on Craigslist, they are pretty NSFW. But funny.

And since I’ve grown fond of all of you DM deviants, I transcribed the text associated with Myatt’s illustrations so you can read them in all their horny, typo-riddled glory.
 

Text reads: older white man, generous, looking for a man to TORTURE. BIG nipples, can take a lot of pain. hope to find a man into it, slap me around too, need a ROUGH man.
 

Text reads: Looking for muscular alpha guys. I have beefy titties and like for a guy to squeeze bit/nibble, and tongue them. you can also titty fuck them. I am masc and discreet.
 

Text reads: Looking for a Hard Swordfight Clash with a “real Big Swinging Dick….Like-minded guy/couple with a similar kink and up for XL 1 on 1 duel get in touch. Don’t Express an interest then tell me you live too far from SE London. Can Accommodate or Travel. Looking to meet not endless chat/emails…........Bring it On…........THUD!
 

Text reads: want your shit now. looking for a guy to shit in a jonny or bag…meet me somewhere and drop it to me. Love shit and love anon shit so if you are up for it would love to hear from you or if you have any more ideas I would love to hear those too! Gay, straight, bi whatever just be a guy whos willing to hand me there shit and use it desperate to have your shit. looking to meet in essex area so if your willing to drop of in essex that would be hot smile. looking to pick up tomorrow morning (Wednesday) get in touch. K i K ill send in email.
 

Text reads: looking for guys to give me bottles of there piss and bottle spit. Can meet me in person and watch me drink it. Or post it to me. Open to any other kinky things like this. If your interested get in touch, open to any age. Me: 29 good looking, can travel to accom you, or can host.
 

Text reads: MY DOOR IS OPEN WITH MY LUBED CUNT IN THE AIR—FUCK AND GO. this is how it works: 1: email me. 2: i send you back my address. 3. you walk into my place (i’ll leave all the doors open). 4. find me face down blindfolded on the bed, lubed ass in the air ready to get pumped OR on my knees blindfolded with my mouth open. 5. fuck the shit out of my hold/mouth. 6. unload. 7. leave. be as aggressive and dominant as you want i will be your whore. SAFE SEX ONLY. take pictures/video if you want. 27, white, good looking, love to be a bottom bitch slut. you be hung, masc, and 100% top. 100% discreet and anonymous. email me for address. available now.
 

The cover of Dominic Myatt’s book, ‘(no kissing).’
 
HT: Dazed Digital

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Free human-sized hamster wheel on Craigslist!
Bizarre wax Amish children for sale on Craigslist
Austin Craigslist: Drunk clown needed