Long, long before Lady Gaga did it, way back during the Reagan, Bush, and Clinton “eras,” we had to make do with identity-redacting shades made from cardboard, like the ones the members of Negativland posed in, or the pair of “Joo Janta Super-Chromatic Peril-Sensitive Sunglasses” that came with the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy computer game. While these offered peerless UV protection, and you looked cool in them, even while attending a Vogon poetry reading, they were also completely opaque, which made it hard to skate in them.

But in our modern age of miracles, you can order censor bar glasses with see-through lenses made of light and durable polycarbonate! Which is to say, ones you can apparently kind of see through! They are even available in a mirrored variety which could conceivably, under the right conditions, replace the upper portion of your face with the kind of blinding atomic glare that comes out of the briefcase in Kiss Me Deadly.
 

Negativland modeling the old “zero/zero vision” censor bar glasses.
 

Lady Gaga Halloween costume
 

In black
 

Mirrored