In 1991 the British comedy program French and Saunders showed an amusing sketch that involved several prominent British rock musicians, including David Gilmour of Pink Floyd, Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits, and Lemmy of Motörhead.

It’s a simple and repetitive premise, but it works wonderfully. Most of the sketch is a dream sequence, imagining a court case (being England, that means wigs!) against the publisher of a book of “easy” guitar guidance that doesn’t even include the little diagrams with the dots to tell you where on the fretboard to place your fingers!

The prosecution calls to the witness stand several luminaries of rock, the three gentlemen mentioned above plus Level 42 bassist Mark King and former Thin Lizzy axe-slinger Gary Moore—all of whom freely testify that they can’t read music and can’t really play any notation that lacks the little finger-placement diagrams. Each of the five witnesses struts to the witness stand in the act of playing a signature tune—”Money for Nothing,” “Ace of Spades,” “Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2”—only to produce atonal garbage as soon as the offending diagram-less primer is placed in front of them.

As the sketch winds down, there is a brief jam session with all of the musicians—which likewise devolves into cacophony once sheet music is provided. The closing punchline plays on the improbability of assembling such a lineup of stars in the first place.
 

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
French and Saunders read a poorly translated Hungarian interview with Madonna