follow us in feedly
Sasquatch Birth Journal 2
01.28.2011
12:22 pm

Topics:
Movies

Tags:
Zeller Brothers
Sasquatch Birth Journal 2
title

image
 
Sasquatch Birth Journal 2 shows never before seen footage of a female Sasquatch giving birth in the wild. Cameras have rarely gotten this close to the creatures.

From the “factoids” section of the film’s website:

Estimated Weight of Pregnant Female: 275lb/125kg/62flbn*
*Flibbon(flbn) has been theorized as a rudimentary unit of weight developed within Sasquatch culture.

Estimated Foot Size: 1.5ft/1.48168Pc

Estimated Weight of Infant: 15.4lb/7kg/3.27flbn

Estimated Area of Sasquatch Vagina in Hectares: .000025hec

Gestation Period: approximately fourteen months

The North American Sasquatch is a megafaunal bipedal hominoid, also known as “Bigfoot”, “Nuk-luk” or “Woolybooger”. The male Sasquatch unceremoniously abandons the female immediately upon impregnation. This leaves the female to fend for herself during the intense seventy-two hour labor period. The standard birthing posture is upright, scientifically referred to as “Inverted Supine” or “Gravity-Fed Style”. Traditionally a tree serves as the midwife; seizing it by its trunk, the female is provided with ample protection, leverage, and stability. Once the female’s water breaks(approx. six gallons in volume) she seeks out a secluded deciduous tree, its trunk an average of three feet in diameter, thick enough to support the expecting mother and her firm embrace. Typically the female Sasquatch tends to avoid trees of the coniferous variety when making her choice. There are two theories behind this: One, is that the sap/tar secretions are a nuisance during the already complicated birthing process, and two, is in order to avoid exposure to pine nuts, which are considered toxic to the Sasquatch newborn.

 

 
Sasquatch Birth Journal 2 was recently screened at the 2011 Sundance Film Festival.

Via David Zellner

Posted by Richard Metzger

 

 

comments powered by Disqus