Imagine José Mojica Marins directing Can’t Stop The Music after snorting the remains of Bob Fosse and Federico Fellini and you may conjure up the demented disco fever that is The Apple. Billed as a “funky fantasy that will rock your world”, this 1980 schlock fest is Xanadu for cokeheads, bouncing a deluge of dance scenes off the viewer’s retinas like a hailstorm of mirrorballs.

In an attempt to replicate the cult success of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Apple takes every rock star as Messiah/Satan cliche and tosses them into a pot of boiling Spandex, gold Lurex, and black Lycra. Add a pinch of amyl nitrate, stir in a rusty cock ring, and some Manic Panic hair dye and you’ve got one of the most insanely inspired spectacles since John Travolta slathered on the KY in Staying Alive.