I never could understand the appeal of Beverly Hills, 90210, but I do remember when this happened because I so loved the Cramps. Around Halloween of 1995, the band appeared on the episode “Gypsies, Cramps and Fleas” to promote their Flamejob album. They got a mere 40 seconds of the broadcast—just long enough to be introduced by Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, greet the audience in the punning style of the Crypt Keeper (or would Ghoulardi be more apt?), and play the hooks from Flamejob‘s “Mean Machine” and “Strange Love.”
I can’t help you with the plot of the show. For me, making sense of the interactions between these turkeys is like trying to read the Epic of Gilgamesh in the original Akkadian. You’ll have to take tv.com‘s word for what happens on this episode:
Colin appeases Kelly by ending his affiliation with Claudia and taking a teaching job. A fortune teller sets up shop at the Peach Pit for Halloween. In spite of her questionable credibility, her presence has an impact on many couples. She forces Susan to come clean with Brandon about a past relationship. David buys a love potion to use on Valerie, and the two become closer. Steve and Clare accidentally drink the potion and have a rendezvous in the club’s dressing room. Donna spends time at the Halloween party with Joe Bradley, the university’s star quarterback. A jealous Ray accosts her, prompting Joe to back off. Ray lurks at Donna’s apartment and becomes physical when she refuses to talk to him. Joe returns and comes to Donna’s defense; he had reconsidered his decision and wants to date her. Dylan and Toni take in a stray kitten. Toni finds Dylan’s gun in the first aid kit and insists that he get rid of it. Toni’s father meets her at the Peach Pit in the hopes of ending their rift. He refuses to give Dylan a chance, and Toni gets him to admit that he had Jack killed. Dylan disposes of his gun and vows to let go of his anger. He and Toni plan to move to Hawaii.
See, but wouldn’t it have made for better TV if Dylan had kept his gun and vowed to hold on to his anger? Or if they’d given the Cramps, say, a solid minute rather than the 40 seconds below? I know these suggestions come 20 years too late, but I record them here for the benefit of future generations. May they succeed where others have failed.
For people who actually like this program, the whole episode is available below, but beware: not only will the show rot your brain, but the Cramps’ appearance (originally at 27:19) has been cut out, and “Mean Machine” and “Strange Love” have been replaced on the soundtrack with some of that clown music they sell by the yard in Hollywood.
Previously on Dangerous Minds:
The Cramps’ Lux Interior and Poison Ivy photographed in 1972 when they were hippies!
Some New Kind of Kick: The Cramps live at the mental hospital, 1978
The Cramps’ Bryan Gregory on Memphis TV
The Cramps at The Mudd Club, 1981: live and dangerous