A black and white portrait of Prince covering an adult-sized onesie from Rage On.
If there is one thing I can’t stand more than white shoes, it is seeing someone out in public wearing pajama pants. I mean, I get it. Life is hard. And most days can flat out suck all the brain cells that make you care about things right out of your head. But you can still get dressed. Come on, man. How hard is it really to exchange an actual pair of pants for the stupid flannel ones you wore to bed last night before you leave the house? As someone who sometimes works in their pajamas (one of the many perks of my “job” here at DM), if I ever left the house wearing my PJs, it had better be because I was fucking dead. But as I often do, I’ve digressed away from the subject of this post which features another one of my triggers, the adult onesie. Because almost nothing says “I give up” like reverting to wearing clothing you wore when you were a baby. Ug.
Not all of the grown-up onesies I’ve culled for this post make me want to get on the next shuttle to the Moon. In fact, a few of them are pretty damn cool like the black and white one featuring a photo of our dearly departed Prince pictured at the top post. But I did include some that are truly terrible too, and I’m just going to leave you to ponder that thinly veiled warning while you scroll through the images below. Each onesie will run you a cool $109 over at Rage On. The company also takes custom orders so if you don’t see the onesie of your dreams (and my nightmares) below, just have one made especially for you… baby. I’m going to ease into the “bad” ones so you can prepare yourself for the moment you audibly say “fuck no.” Some of the images below are NSFW.
Actor Max Schreck in character as the vampire Nosferatu.
Old-school horror film VHS covers.
Satan/Baphomet mashup. I’ll take it!
Michael Myers face mask. I’m a ghoul, it gets a pass.
A perplexing all-over print of the head of Dr. Steve Brule (“For your health!”) as played by actor John C. Reilly on the fantastic Adult Swim series ‘Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule’
PABST BLUE RIBBON!
Nicolas Cage all over face print. Yes and YES.
I don’t know what’s going on here, but I fully endorse it.
Surprised cats. Because why not?
And now for the rest of the “bad” and “awful” ones. Like this.
And especially THIS. Sad!
Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Behold the ‘holy grail’ of fashion: Adult onesie features the many faces of Steve Buscemi
OMG, the ‘sexy’ full-body crotch-showcasing wolf onesie has arrived!
Dear God. Some rich guy is trying to produce a suit/onesie hybrid called ‘The Suitsy’