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The [inanimate object] Was My Gay Lover! The strange erotica—and wonderful cover art—of Chuck Tingle
04.02.2015
09:56 am
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The [inanimate object] Was My Gay Lover! The strange erotica—and wonderful cover art—of Chuck Tingle


 
Imagine world in which one of the most idiotic fantasies of ignorant right wing homophobe creeps were true, and homosexuality was not only a choice one could make, but that young people were actively recruited into gayness by a sinister cabal of persuasive pipefitters. Now imagine a world where your recruiter—your tour guide through the forbidden delights of Sodom!—wasn’t a fit, handsome, and just dead charming older student at the campus mixer with a fabulous smile, flawless hair, and an impish gleam in his eyes, but a diner.

Not as in someone who’s dining, I mean a diner as in an actual restaurant.
 
DINER
Turned Gay By The Living Alpha Diner
 

Lars is simply looking for a place to grab a bite and take a load off. But he bites of more than he can chew when he meets Turk, a handsome, living diner. The loads come later!

Lars and Turk take to one another immediately, and soon Lars finds himself putting it all on the line for an erotic future with this gorgeous, gay restaurant.

That’s pretty much how it goes in the world of writer Chuck Tingle, who trades in homoerotic eBooks that he calls “Tinglers.” I haven’t actually read any of them, as it’s not my zone, and anyway I don’t have a Kindle, so I’m unabashedly judging books by their covers here. But MY GOD, WHAT GLORIOUS COVERS! Tingle, or his go-to cover artist, definitely has the template nailed—while it’s of a type with lots of self-published eBook art, it absolutely has a certain something all its own. There’s always a come-hither beefcake image right up front, behind which, in brightly saturated colors, is an almost Pen & Pixel-ishly improbable collage depicting said beefcake’s mate. And it has to be a collage, as said mate is never simply another human guy. The not-of-this-world cover art is a match for the curious quirks in Tingle’s oeuvre. It seems to break down into four distinct and imaginative motifs. To start, there are his protagonist-pairs-off-with-an-anthropomorphic-object tales.
 
JET PLANE
I’m Gay For My Living Billionaire Jet Plane
 
TRAIN
Trained By The Living Biker Train
 
MY OWN BUTT
HEAVY META! Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt

Gotta wonder: given its significance in a fairly well-known LGBT inside joke, I don’t understand why Tingle hasn’t written a story about a het being turned by a toaster. But in any case, there are also a fair few tales of young men finding love with Bigfoot:
 
DR/ATTY BIGFOOT
Seduced By Doctor Bigfoot: Attorney At Large
 
BIGFOOT PRESIDENT
Pounded By President Bigfoot
 
SOMMELLIER
Bigfoot Sommelier Butt Tasting

Dinosaurs? Dinosaurs.
 

My Billionaire Triceratops Craves Gay Ass
 
T REX LAW FIRM
Gay T-Rex Law Firm: Executive Boner
 
SPACE RAPTOR
Space Raptor Butt Invasion

If talking billionaire airplanes, astronaut velociraptors, and Sasquatch sommeliers aren’t sufficiently over-the-rainbow to suit your craving for totally unrealistic homonanism fodder, Tingle has another sub-genre just for you—unicorns. Because of course.
 
FOOTBALL UNICORN
Pounded By The Gay Unicorn Football Squad
 
BIKER UNICORN
Taken By The Gay Unicorn Biker
 
COLONEL UNICORN
My Ass Is Haunted By The Gay Unicorn Colonel

And he’s TIMELY!
 
COLOR CHANGING DRESS
Pounded By The Gay Color Changing Dress

Many thanks to Karen Wegryn for bringing these wonders to my attention. Much gratitude also to Chad Fox for greatly needed assistance.

Posted by Ron Kretsch
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04.02.2015
09:56 am
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