The vRS Man-Pram, the “masculine” baby stroller for the man who has a little… baby.

I simply don’t understand certain strains of masculinity. See, I was under the impression that caring for a tiny living creature (one which you ostensibly produced through sexual intercourse with a lady) would make a man more secure about the image of his virility. However, a survey by Czech automaker, ŠKODA, found that more than three-quarters of the 1,000 British fathers polled would spend more time strolling with Junior if only the buggy screamed “I AM A MAN!!!” The so-called “Man Pram,” pictured in all its… glory, purports to increase paternal participation in care work by assuaging what must be the most delicate egos ever to emerge from the Y chromosome. I had to read the press release for the Corvette of strollers three times to be sure it wasn’t a joke.

ŠKODA has unveiled the ultimate baby buggy, dubbed the ‘vRS Mega Man-Pram’ – a high performance vehicle that has been designed to provide the ultimate baby transportation experience. ‘King Size’ buggy is the ultimate accessory for new dads.

Milton Keynes, 25th July 2013 - To celebrate the launch of the Octavia vRS – the fastest ŠKODA ever – the company gave a team of engineers the task of bringing the same qualities that go into the car to other everyday objects. These included the vRS Man-Pram and were highlighted in a new ad launching the third-generation Octavia vRS.

The pram’s vRS style makeover fits perfectly with a ŠKODA-commissioned survey of 1,000 dads which found that two thirds (76%) admitted they would spend more time pushing baby if they had access to a higher spec and more stylish buggy.

The result is a remarkable baby carriage: standing two metres high. The buggy comes complete with wing mirrors, hydraulic suspension, 20 inch alloy wheels, oversized brake callipers, anti-stress grips and a headlamp beam for night walks. Tots lucky enough to be carried on board can look forward to “sports-style upholstery” and “adjustable lumbar support”.

 
“Lumbar support?” Have these engineers ever held a baby? They’re basically jelly that shits. Lumbar support implies a specific part of the body needs to be stabilized, as opposed to the whole of their entire jiggly little person. And that’s really the least absurd feature of this absurdly cumbersome design. Those wheels? And how counterintuitive is the idea of a butch stroller? As soon as you see it, you just know that big (little?) daddy here has issues.

At the risk of invoking the sort of language that probably produces this kind of monstrosity, I feel compelled to address the would-be customers of this ridiculous stroller… dudes, man the hell up.
 

 
Via Gizmag