Of the 14,000+ McDonald’s franchises in the United States only 8,000 of them carry The McRib sandwich. Your chances of finding a McRib are about 55%. And that’s freaking some people out. So much so that there’s a McRib Locator on the Internet that “was created to help McRib fans locate this tasty yet elusive sandwich.” Apparently, a shitload of folks are hankering for a slab of pig guts tossed with yoga mats, 70 additives, chemicals, fillers, and GMO ingredients all held together by glue and slathered in barbecue sauce that tastes like liquid diabetes.
When it comes to the McRib, sometimes you just gotta make a stand. Strip clubs too. Donald Trump has been strangely silent on these subjects. Not so the fine folk of Santa Clarita, California.
Santa Clarita is the third largest city in Los Angeles County so you’d figure that the city council would be up to their elbows in all kinds of important civic issues. But who is to judge what is important and what is not? This is a democracy gawdammit! So at most city council meetings there’s a period for public comment on any topic… as you will see.
In the following video two Santa Claritians (?) address the council on two pressing matters very near and dear to their hearts: strip clubs and the McRib sandwich. The first one up is a guy who looks like the love child of an overstuffed scarecrow and The Cure’s Robert Smith - a lap dancer’s equivalent of a hard day at the office. But he’s merely the opening act for the pink-haired goofball up next. You can feel the young woman’s pain as she laments that the nearest MaCrib was “seen” 350 miles north of Santa Clarita in the Bay Area. She looks like she’s about to cry over the anguish that it’s caused her poor family, not to mention the Santa Clarita “foodie community” who she claims to represent. Can’t the Mayor call up McDonald’s and DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS???
Update: Okay here’s the scoop. I hate to be the guy to blow the cover off a great prank, but according to our super secret source, the “foodie” with the Manic Panik dye-job is fledgling comedian Xanthe Pajarillo . She’s pulled off an ingenious stunt. Had us fooled. She’s definitely got a future in comedy and that future is now. So who’s the dude? Robert Benjamin. Another comic. Brilliant guys, brilliant.
The Service Industry’s homage to the McRib “Liquid Meat (Into A Form).”