American-style (Republican) Christianity
One Million Moms
“Me Walrus. You Jane. Goo goo ga joob.”
This just in: Apparently the “disgusting” new Skittles TV ad was enough to send conservative Christian woman’s group One Million Moms into an apoplectic fit. Now they’re snapping into action. The group, who in the past have called for the boycotting of JC Penny because the retailer hired Ellen Degeneres as its spokesperson, sent out the following press release about the “bestiality” themed Skittles ad:
We are not sure of Skittles’ thought process behind their new ad, but if they are attempting to offend customers, they have succeeded. Skittles’ newest “Walrus” commercial includes a teen girl making out with a walrus. The two are on a coach in an apartment kissing on the mouth when her shocked roommate walks in on them. Parents find this type of advertising inappropriate and unnecessary. Does Skittles’ have our children’s best interest in mind? Skittles candies are for all ages, but their target market is children. Skittles Marketing Team may have thought this was humorous, but not only is it disgusting, it is taking lightly the act of bestiality. Let Skittles know their new ad is irresponsible.
Raise your hand if you think this ad puts a child—even one kid on the entire planet—in danger of wanting to make out with a large flippered marine mammal with tusks? Didn’t think so.
[Now all that needs to happen for this latest “boycott” to crawl up its own ass is for an ANTI-bestiality Christian candy company to…uh, take a stand. Then Mike Huckabee will tell all of the lemmings who listen to his radio show looking for clues on how to think (?!?!?) that they need to support this brave anti-bestiality candy maker by eating their fine sugary Christian products by the bagful. As if it was food… But all of this is really just a nefarious plot to dupe Mike Huckabee and One Million Moms into throwing their support behind the anti-bestiality candy maker… It’s all just an evil satanic ruse. The supposedly anti-bestiality candy maker is really owned jointly by Michael Moore, Michelle Obama, Rachel Maddow and Bill Maher. The real goal of this evil foursome being to give god-fearing Christians type 2 diabetes and make millions of dollars in the process. All of this will be exposed by WorldNetDaily and Donald Trump a few weeks from now, but I digress...]
I can’t believe One Million Moms thinks this is ad is so offensive. It’s just seems… kinda stupid to me. I will admit, though, that all the fuss made me curious about these “new” counter-intuitive Skittles flavors, so thanks for spreading the word One Million Moms! I’d never have heard about this product otherwise if you hadn’t taken the bait! (What a great way to increase the client’s ROI on an ad like this: Troll conservative Christians. They’ll get predictably outraged and then act as unpaid, hostile brand ambassadors! Maybe this deceptively stupid ad is is a lot smarter than I thought at first glance? It’s not just Skittle doing this, it’s Ragu, too)
One YouTube commenter, writing in support of OMM had this to say:
“Gross!! It makes me NOT want to eat Skittles. They have walrus and her spit on them!.”
If only more people knew that Skittles had “walrus” and spit (and probably walrus spit, too) all over them, then this Skittles boycott might actually catch on. Walrus spit? That’s disgusting!
Below, the offending Skittles commercial that arrogantly promotes the acceptance of an unnatural “lifestyle choice”:
BONUS CLIP: A video of a walrus sucking his own dick.