If you are of “a certain age” you’re going to remember this AT&T commercial which played incessantly on television in the late ‘80s.
It featured a stock broker or some other sort of entitled business-class asshole who was trying to call Phoenix, but mistakenly dialed Fiji instead.
A native answers his call:
“NockaMockaBeeSai”
or was it “Wanna-mocka-pee-si?”
or was it “Bolenockapeaceye?”
Anyway, the businessman ends up getting infuriated when he has to hold for a minute to get credited. He says “AT&T operators gave me instant credit.” The operator informs the man that he is “not dealing with AT&T,” to which he snaps back “WELL I AM NOW!”
“WELL I AM NOW!”
When we were kids we used to make fun of this dork incessantly, always imitating “WELL I AM NOW!” in the whiniest, most privileged voice imaginable at any opportune moment.
We’d also imitate the native Fijian’s phone greeting, sometimes answering our own phones in his voice, but no one could ever really agree on what he was saying…
“Bolamakapeesai?”
“OckaNockaBeeSai?”
“Onga laka pisai?”
This was one of the great unsolved mysteries of the Twentieth Century. Of course back then we didn’t have the Internet and Google—but as we now live in the magical futureworld where all questions are easily and instantly answered, we now know exactly what was being said. Here it is:
“Bula Vinaka, Beachside”
“Bula Vinaka,” is a Fijian expression for “hello, thanks.”
You should always go straight to the Internet with any lingering questions from your pre-Internet childhood.
“WELL I AM NOW!”
The only mystery that yet remains is how this doof managed to mistakenly dial Fiji instead of Phoenix without dialing the country code.
Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Coldwave: The Nestle ‘Alpine White’ song is the official non-denominational holiday anthem
Who was that mysterious middle-aged bald guy that appeared in like EVERY early ‘80s MTV video?