The website’s now defunct, but sometime in 2006 some brilliant person going by the name “Bubblegum Fink” concocted these fake (yes, fake) trading cards celebrating and promoting the memorable cult movie of 1973 known as The Wicker Man.

About this set, the creator writes:
 

With The Wicker Man, there’s no way there ever could’ve or should’ve been a series like this. I can’t imagine any kid running out to buy several packs of Wicker Man cards and filling their cheeks with the gum as they shout “I got the Lord Summerisle I’ve been needing!” But that’s why I think it’s great. I love the Wicker Man, and as an adult, I’d happily slap down my cash for the cards if they existed.

 
True enough—there’s no way a nudity-filled escapade about a mad pagan cult would have qualified for the Topps treatment. There’s even a wrapper, with the old Topps logo lovingly included as well:
 

 
Having said that, you really have to admire the Bubblegum Fink’s workmanship. These cards are really perfect re-creations, easily close enough to the real thing to fool me, and the 1970s as a decade were just insane enough that when someone says, “Oh look at these Wicker Man trading cards!” you don’t shut it down as impossible right away—it takes a moment or two before the perfect absurdity of it becomes clear.

The almost random selection of images, the occasional foray into “behind the scenes” when an actor’s name is mentioned, the beautifully stilted captions, which remind me of nothing so much as DVD chapter titles….. just a job well done.