Do they owe us a spinning? Of course they fucking do! Crass logo fidget spinner. The final death knell of capital P, capital R, Punk Rock?
As fidget spinners are the latest inexplicable toy fad, the popularity of which most adults find absolutely confounding, I posted a couple of weeks ago about low-rent knock-offs in the style of “Nightmare Feddy,” “Robert Cop,” and “Anna Montana.”
PornHub recently revealed that in a May data sampling, during just a ten day stretch in that month, there were 2.5 million “fidget spinner” searches on their popular porn site, making it the top trending term and 5th most popular search for that month (ON A FUCKING PORN SITE!).
Clearly, these things have taken a place on the cultural zeitgeist mantle.
That brings us to this stupid thing which presented itself in my feed today: a Crass logo fidget spinner.
I’m going to go out on a limb and assume this isn’t “licensed” merchandise, but nonetheless, you can buy it for $6.89 on Amazon. If that’s not anarchy, then WHAT IS?
Crass’ 1978 declaration that “Punk Is Dead,” may or may not have been a true fact, but here we have a prime indicator—something Crass themselves would have called “another cheap product for the consumer’s head.”
The Crass logo fidget spinner was not the only punk rock spinner I found in a casual search, but it’s certainly the most ridiculous. Of course, you may wanna pick one up to give to the next spanging Oogle you see. It’ll give them something to keep them occupied back at the squat. I’ve paired purchase links with a fitting song by the artist, starting with the aforementioned “Punk is Dead” by Crass:
You may also want to pick up a Discharge fidget spinner HERE.
While you’re spinning you can ask yourself “Why does this exist? Why? Why? Why why why?”
And look. There’s a Minor Threat one available HERE.
As this is undoubtedly unlicensed merch, no one would ever accuse Ian MacKaye of “cashing in” on this fad:
And here’s a Dead Kennedys fidget spinner featuring the classic Winston Smith-designed “DK” logo, available HERE.
And we’re gonna assign “Anarchy For Sale” as the official soundtrack for this particular doodad:
Punk fidget spinners make fidgeting a threat again. Just what the doctor ordered for keeping you focused and calm in the pit.
H/T: Al Quint