The poster for Laibach’s upcoming show in Ljubljana
You say you love Laibach, but what are you really willing to do for the cause? When is the last time you spent NSK State money? Sure, you wear the official Laibach tie, but where is your matching tie clip? And you stink of mortality; where is your bar of Laibach soap? Only Laibach brand soap has been proven to kill every type of pestilence it does not also promote:
This big bar of Saliva, Sweat and Sperm is pressed three times to make a rich and creamy soap. A relaxing fragrance for tired and stressed-out souls calms the nerves and soothes the body. Perfect for beginning or ending your life.
A bar of Laibach soap
Have you looked in the mirror lately? There is way too much “you” behind those eyes and not nearly enough Laibach. Citizen, the day of reckoning is at hand! Boots are marching in the public street, and you haven’t even sacrificed your personality to the general will yet! Time is running out. It may not be too late if you get right with Laibach today.
Of course, you will need to replace all your records with Laibach records, all your clothes with Laibach clothes, all your décor with Laibach décor, et cetera. But while you are appropriating the necessary funds for your total, final makeover, you can get started by downloading the free Laibach app. It will help you maintain right speech and right conduct, and after you (inevitably) consent, it will “access your location even when you are not using the app.” It’s kind of like Pokémon GO—except in former Yugoslavian republic of Slovenia, Pokémon catches you!
With the Laibach app you will be able to: get the latest News, listen/buy music, watch Laibach videos, interact with the Laibach Community, send your artworks directly from your mobile device, get the latest info on Laibach tour dates and ticket links, see photos of Laibach, read about Laibach history and everything else you need to help you be a better partisan.
Next week, Laibach will be performing a special concert on the theme of “the holy war in/of Europe” with the RTV Slovenia Symphony Orchestra in Ljubljana. Tickets and posters are available through laibach.org.
More Laibach after the jump…