A black and white portrait of Prince covering an adult-sized onesie from Rage On.
 
If there is one thing I can’t stand more than white shoes, it is seeing someone out in public wearing pajama pants. I mean, I get it. Life is hard. And most days can flat out suck all the brain cells that make you care about things right out of your head. But you can still get dressed. Come on, man. How hard is it really to exchange an actual pair of pants for the stupid flannel ones you wore to bed last night before you leave the house? As someone who sometimes works in their pajamas (one of the many perks of my “job” here at DM), if I ever left the house wearing my PJs, it had better be because I was fucking dead. But as I often do, I’ve digressed away from the subject of this post which features another one of my triggers, the adult onesie. Because almost nothing says “I give up” like reverting to wearing clothing you wore when you were a baby. Ug.

Not all of the grown-up onesies I’ve culled for this post make me want to get on the next shuttle to the Moon. In fact, a few of them are pretty damn cool like the black and white one featuring a photo of our dearly departed Prince pictured at the top post. But I did include some that are truly terrible too, and I’m just going to leave you to ponder that thinly veiled warning while you scroll through the images below. Each onesie will run you a cool $109 over at Rage On. The company also takes custom orders so if you don’t see the onesie of your dreams (and my nightmares) below, just have one made especially for you… baby. I’m going to ease into the “bad” ones so you can prepare yourself for the moment you audibly say “fuck no.” Some of the images below are NSFW.
 

Actor Max Schreck in character as the vampire Nosferatu.
 

Old-school horror film VHS covers.
 

Satan/Baphomet mashup. I’ll take it!
 
More after the jump…

‘Baphomet Barbie’ by Argentinian artists Marianela Perelli and Pool Paolini.
 
In 2014 Argentina-based artists Marianela Perelli and Pool Paolini “redesigned” 33 Barbie, Ken and Skipper dolls into various historical religious figures such as Judas, Jesus, the Virgin Mary, Buddha and Baphomet among others. The figures were a part of a show called “Barbie, the Plastic Religion” and as you might imagine there was a contentious backlash to Perelli and Paolini modified Barbie’s. Though it’s important to note that the talented pair presented one of their Barbies to Pope Francis which he accepted. So there’s that.

Though fans of organized religion will likely hurl the word “blasphemous” around when it comes to Perelli and Paolini’s plastic “gods” the artists have been very clear about their intentions, which believe it or not came from a positive place. Here’s more on that:

Provocation is part of our life and what we do, but it’s harmless, constructive and without bad intentions. Barbie and the Plastic religion came from a place of peace and love, and mutual respect for all spiritual, religious beliefs.

The exhibit is now on display at the La Luz de Jesus Gallery on Hollywood Boulevard through the end of December. In other good news the figures in the show as well as paintings, Ken as Santa (or “San Nicholas”) a Barbie and Ken nativity scene and the holy trinity of Ken as Krishna, Buddha and Jesus rolling around in a Barbie Porsche 911 can be yours if you’re flush enough. I’ve included loads of images from the show below as well as an amusing video featuring a fake “Barbie” commercial that must be seen to be believed.
 

‘Christo.’
 

‘Santa Veronica.’
 
More after the jump…

Baphomet glass tree topper
 
The good folks over at Middle of Beyond have a pretty sweet collection of anti-Christmas decorations—but nothing says “fuck jolly old St. Nick” quite like a glass Baphomet or Cthulhu tree topper. Ah, being on the the naughty list really is the best. 
 

Cthulhu glass tree topper
 
Little Baphomet and this cutie Cthulhu are both 7.5 inches high and will run you $19.99 (which if you flip the nines around is $16.66, nice one Middle of Beyond). There are also a few other notable and refreshingly evil Christmas ornaments in MOB’s shop such as a variety of Krampus designs and a glass-blown homage to Room 237, the mythical room at the Overlook Hotel in Stanely Kubrick’s The Shining that gave the fascinating 2012 documentary film, Room 237 its title.
 

‘The Shining’ hotel key glass ornament
 

Glass Krampus devil tree topper

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Cthulhu fhtagn: 2016’s ‘Lovecraftiana Calendar’ makes an eldritch Christmas gift