FOLLOW US ON:
GET THE NEWSLETTER
CONTACT US
‘Shame’: Just what you needed, a Christian ‘parody’ of David Bowie’s ‘Fame’
04.20.2016
01:22 pm
Topics:
Tags:


 
The YouTube account with the handle TheParodyQueen is dedicated to Christian parodies of popular songs. As the Queen describes herself, she’s “a wacky blonde who loves writing parodies of all genres with Christian lyrics.”

In fairness, the covers aren’t bad at all and she certainly doesn’t seem very censorious or forbidding about any of it. It’s evident that the Parody Queen and her guitarist know David Bowie’s “Fame” inside and out and even seem to be grooving to it.

Here’s a sample of the lyrics:

Shame
Keeps a man from the mirror
Shame
Steals hope from tomorrow
Shame
Makes you weep and brings you sorrow
Shame
A ball and chain through your veins is entertained by bringing you ...
Pain

-snip-

Is it any wonder
It infects and hurts?
Shame
Is it any wonder
How Jesus took the curse?
Shame

 
The curious are welcome to peruse the account, which has Christian parodies of songs by Led Zeppelin, the Bee Gees, Gloria Gaynor, CCR, and so on.
 

 
via Christian Nightmares

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
‘Star Tract’: Demented Christian ‘Star Trek’ parody

Posted by Martin Schneider
|
04.20.2016
01:22 pm
|
Woman claims to see Jesus on bruised toe
01.28.2014
09:41 pm
Topics:
Tags:


 
According to KRQE-TV in Albuquerque, NM, a woman is claiming to see Jesus in painful bruises on her feet that she sustained after falling down the stairs

Paula Osuna’s fiancé rubbed some “holy” dirt from the town of Chimayo in New Mexico on her feet to help her heal. What happened next surprised her:

After putting the holy dirt on her foot and then bandaging it, she says the next day the bruise formed in the shape of Jesus on her second toe.

YOU DON’T SAY!

“My family has always done the pilgrimages to Chimayo and this is the first time I ever used it and I’m seeing something kind of come out full circle, I guess.” Osuna said.

Oh for Christ’s sake…

The best comment:

The caption should read “Crazy woman gets pushed down stairs and Jesus figured lets create an image of myself on this wacko’s toe.”

 

 
Via Christian Nightmares

Posted by Richard Metzger
|
01.28.2014
09:41 pm
|
Twisted: The sad outsider art form of Christian balloon animals
09.12.2013
03:54 pm
Topics:
Tags:


Don’t ask…

And now for my second TIL (“today I learned”) moment (the first was that whole Ronnie James Dio being the singing cartoon frog thing): Apparently there is a subculture (what else would you call it?) of Christian balloon animal performers. They will come to your kid’s parties, Bible camp, Sunday school, nursing home, whatever, and they will tell a Bible story, with a colorful “twist”—make that several!!—that will delight both young and old alike.

Or some bullshit. In any case, yes, there are professional Christian balloon twisters. It seems like an odd ambition to me, but you can buy books and DVDs about it and some of the more established Christian balloon performers are even giving away some of their classic material for newbies who want to spread “the good word” through the art of balloon twisting. If that’s what you’re into.
 

Tilda Swinton as the balloon Mary
 

Swamp Thing?
 

I said don’t ask…
 

Moe Howard died for somebody’s sins but not mine…
 

Life-sized!
 

Nice try?

Thank you kindly, Psychcomm!

Posted by Richard Metzger
|
09.12.2013
03:54 pm
|
Daddy-Daughter Christian ‘Purity Ball’ celebrates virginity and intact hymens
06.12.2013
03:37 pm
Topics:
Tags:


“Princess, Daddy wants you to wear your pink gown on our date. You look so pure in that one.”

This sort of mindset simply does not compute outside of Christianist fundie circles: The Legacy Institute, run by sexual “purity” advocate Carrie Abbott, is holding a father and daughter “Purity Ball” cotillion in Kenmare, WA next week—it’s already sold out—that promises to be a dads and daughters celebration of intact hymens.

The Purity Ball is only for fathers (or “key male guardians”) and daughters who are aged 12-19. An event celebrating virginity with a strong undercurrent of (hopefully) repressed incest issues. WOW. (Consider for one nanosecond the even WEIRDER proposition of escorting a young virgin who is not even your own biological offspring to such an event as her “key male guardian.” FREAKY DEAKY.)

I get the “good girls” want to meet “fine, upstanding Christian boys” at a chaperoned dance kinda thing, but this? This is fucking demented.

I fervently hope a documentary crew will be on hand to shoot this:

Dads, escort your daughter to an unforgettable event where hundreds of young ladies dressed in formal attire and their dashing fathers will celebrate purity!

This extraordinary evening includes an elegant atmosphere, pictures, gourmet dinner and dessert, flowers, music and other surprises sure to delight both father and daughter.

Legacy’s President and popular speaker, Carrie Abbott, will deliver a unique message to dads and daughters and our Master of Ceremonies will facilitate a purity covenant.

This will be a powerful and life-changing event!

Now that I doubt, but the overall cumulative effect that having this sort of horseshit drilled into their heads for years is probably going to have quite the opposite influence on these young ladies than is intended. Want to insure that your daughter will remain virginal and pure until she’s married in the eyes of God, Christian dads? Then you might want to consider backing off creepy shit like “purity covenants” and breathtakingly twisto events like this one!

Best of all? The tickets were priced at $69.

Via Christian Nigtmares

Posted by Richard Metzger
|
06.12.2013
03:37 pm
|
Unintentionally funny Christian video: Didn’t they know any black guys who could play the President?
06.11.2013
11:40 am
Topics:
Tags:


The Anti-Barack or the evil Jimmy Carter?

Apparently not! This irony deficient fake movie trailer to promote an upcoming religious youth conference is all kinds of goofy.

Christians, while not exactly an endangered species in these United States of America, sure do have paranoiac persecution complexes, don’t they?

Project much?
 

 
Via Christian Nightmares/Stuff Fundies Like

Posted by Richard Metzger
|
06.11.2013
11:40 am
|
‘A Polished Shaft’: The craziest video Christian Nightmares has ever posted?
08.06.2012
03:25 pm
Topics:
Tags:

image
 
WTF?

Pastor Jack Schaap, the scandal-plagued sexist asshat who was recently fired from Indiana mega-church, the First Baptist Church of Hammond for having had an affair with a teenage member of his congregation, is seen here demonstrating how to “polish a shaft” in 2010.

He had to realize what this looked like, right? Maybe not. It’s hard to tell with a knob like Schaap.

What were the dudes sitting there behind him thinking? Hoping that Pastor Jack-off doesn’t try to “anoint” them???
 

 
Via the mighty Christian Nightmares

Posted by Richard Metzger
|
08.06.2012
03:25 pm
|
Christian Tramp Stamps
07.11.2012
08:45 pm
Topics:
Tags:

image
 
God is great!

(If there isn’t already a Tumblr for this, someone needs to create one.)

Via Christian Nightmares
 
image

Posted by Richard Metzger
|
07.11.2012
08:45 pm
|
Christians prove evolution is a lie, with help from the Loch Ness Monster

image
 
Via The Herald, Scotland (abridged):

Schoolchildren in Louisiana are to be taught that the Loch Ness monster is real in a bid by religious educators to disprove Darwin’s theory of evolution.

These private schools follow a fundamentalist curriculum including the Accelerated Christian Education (ACE) programme to teach controversial religious beliefs aimed at disproving evolution and proving creationism.

One tenet has it that if it can be proved that dinosaurs walked the earth at the same time as man then Darwinism is fatally flawed.

The textbooks in the series are alleged to teach young earth creationism; are hostile towards other religions and other sectors of Christianity, including Roman Catholicism; and present a biased version of history that is often factually incorrect.

One ACE textbook – Biology 1099, Accelerated Christian Education Inc – reads: “Are dinosaurs alive today? Scientists are becoming more convinced of their existence. Have you heard of the ‘Loch Ness Monster’ in Scotland? ‘Nessie’ for short has been recorded on sonar from a small submarine, described by eyewitnesses, and photographed by others. Nessie appears to be a plesiosaur.”

Another claim taught is that a Japanese whaling boat once caught a dinosaur. It’s unclear if the movie Godzilla was the inspiration for this lesson.

Well, If you believe in the existence of one mythical being, why not believe in them all?

Perhaps one day the popular BBC kids show The Family Ness will be revered as gospels:
 

Posted by Niall O'Conghaile
|
06.25.2012
10:46 am
|
Church kidnaps children at gunpoint to ‘teach them a lesson’

image
 
Anyone care to venture a guess at what that lesson was???

Getting far, far away from from the Christian church is the take-away it looks like to me!

Inflicting PTSD on children? The adults who were the perpetrators here—including, incredibly, an off-duty cop who used his real gun—deserve a taste of their own medicine (and some prison sex).

This goes way beyond being merely “misguided.” Holy shit!

As found on On Knees for Jesus (“A blog dedicated to showing how Christians are making the world a better place”):
 

Posted by Richard Metzger
|
04.05.2012
02:24 pm
|
Woman prays, speaks in tongues to ward off killer tornado
03.06.2012
03:07 pm
Topics:
Tags:

image
 
Watch as a superstitious idiot babbles incoherently speaks in tongues while making an almost comical entreaty to God almighty to spare her from his windy wrath.

Why didn’t she pray for the rest of her town to be spared, too? Fuck her neighbors! Typical American Christian!

And batshit crazy to boot…

As “EternalChaosBringer” quipped on YouTube:

“I’m pretty sure the 39 people who died prayed their asses off to be saved from the tornado too. God could have easily pulled off a miracle for them, but he chose to just coldly take their lives away.”

 

 
Via Joe.My.God.

Posted by Richard Metzger
|
03.06.2012
03:07 pm
|
Shit Christians Say to Atheists
01.16.2012
05:43 pm
Topics:
Tags:

image
 
Atheist activist Ashley Paramore made this video called “Shit Christians Say To Atheists.”

Chances are that a few of these are going to sound familiar…
 

Posted by Richard Metzger
|
01.16.2012
05:43 pm
|
Photographer trolls Christian publisher

 
Boy I hope this is true! Someone in the reddit thread found the book on Amazon.


(via reddit and 9GAG)

Posted by Tara McGinley
|
09.06.2011
02:28 pm
|
Awaiting Rapturization…


 
Just thought I would check in and report on how it’s going on the other side of the world on this momentous day. And I just LOVE this “Prairie-Dog Rapture” pic! Well, so far so good… unless you are a fundie, I guess. No sign of any earthquakes or bodies being mysteriously sucked up into the sky. Yet. There’s still two hours to go ‘til the official kick-off time so you never know, it might happen, but reports from the expanses of the planet that have already hit that 6pm deadline report nothing unusual. Oh, wait, there WERE a couple of earthquakes in the Pacific, but they were small (3-4 on the Richter scale, surely not God bothering size?) and apparently there tends to be a small earthquake somewhere in the Pacific every day anyway.

I am in Ireland at the moment and interestingly (for such a predominantly Catholic country) no one seems too fussed by this whole rapture malarky. Maybe the populace have had other things to think about. This week has seen a royal visit by Queen Elizabeth, the first visit to this isle of a British monarch since Ireland fought for, and won, independence way back in 1922. Now THAT is a momentous occasion. People who would normally be described as “patriots” and who within their own lifetimes have seen periods of real animosity against the British were seen cooing and ahhing at the British monarch’s presence. There were protests, of course, but the turnouts were small, estimated at around the 200 mark. This is what they looked like from the inside:
 

 
By all accounts the visit was a roaring success. Liz had a tour of ghostly Dublin, where roads were blocked off to keep people away from her highness. She was brought to Croke Park, the 80,000+ capacity sports arena that has a very special significance in the history of Irish nationalism. Bought by the Gaelic Athletics Association in 1913, it was used to encourage the playing of indigenous sports hurling and Gaelic football (at a time when the country was under strict British rule) and was seen as a hotbed of anti-British conspiracy by the then powers-that-be. It was at Croke Park that the infamous original Bloody Sunday occurred in 1921 when, in retaliation for a number of assassinations by the IRA, the British army and the Royal Irish Constabulary indiscriminately shot into the crowd during a Dublin-Tipperary football match killing 13 spectators and the Tipperary football captain. It was this incident that turned the tide of the war of independence against the British and ultimately led to the withdrawal of British troops from most of the island. The fact that the Queen visited this specific arena says a lot about how far relations between the Irish and the English have come in the resulting ninety years. 

Her Madge also stopped off at the Coolmore Stud, the world’s largest breeding centre for thoroughbred horses, and in Cork city made a visit to its famous English Market. That bit was of particular significance to me, as my mother’s family have had a fruit and vegetable stall there for over 100 years. The English Market is a beautiful, hidden treasure in the vastly under-rated city (Cork is MUCH nicer than Dublin!) and could dearly use a boost in visits and trade in this era of multinationalization.
 

The English Market - the white haired man is my uncle.

Even more excitingly though, for me and a lot of people other people anyway, on Monday we will be being graced by a visit from President of the United States and the First Lady Barack and Michelle Obama. It’s only a flying visit really, as he is on his way to the UK for 4 days, but while here he will be travelling to County Offaly to look up some of his ancestors, and giving a public address on College Green in Dublin city centre. I expect the turn out for this to be very strong, and even though there will be a stepped up security presence, I really don’t think he has anything to worry about. In fact I think he will be greeted by a very warm Irish welcome, something that eluded President Bush a few years back. I won’t be here then, unfortunately, but the Irish media will be supplying day-long rolling coverage of his visit if you are interested in watching. I expect there to be protests too, but they will most likely be Queen-sized.

Anyway, so where was I… oh yes! The Rapture. Hmm, well there’s still a bit of time to kill before believers get hoovered up (or not). If there is any breaking news on this side of the pond I will dutifully report it. Or I might not actually, preferring to spend that time with my family. But for some reason or other all day I just haven’t been able to get this bloody song out of my mind. Any ideas why? Answers in a comment to the usual address…
 

 

Posted by Niall O'Conghaile
|
05.21.2011
10:50 am
|
Awesome Rapture prank idea


 
This is the funniest rapture gag since the Rapture Hatch. I think everyone should do this, and if possible set up cameras to record reactions. From Fuckyeahdementia!

 

Posted by Niall O'Conghaile
|
05.19.2011
04:59 pm
|
Christians gone wild
11.15.2010
01:12 pm
Topics:
Tags:

 
Since I don’t speak Korean, I don’t want to read too much into the behavior on exhibit here, but it does look a bit strange, even to someone raised in the heart of the Bible belt. Is this a mass infusion of the holy spirt or some sort of (mainly) female shamanism, a variety that doesn’t translate so easily? It really starts to, uh, really cook, at about 1:17 in, but at least sample the beginning, as it makes what follows seem all the more surreal. Pentecostalism Korean-stylee or what?

The same person who posted the video above also posted this. It’s pretty amazing/weird, almost like a Haitian voodoo ceremony. Dig the bongo players!:
 

Via Christian Nightmares

Posted by Richard Metzger
|
11.15.2010
01:12 pm
|
Page 1 of 2  1 2 >