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The War on Christmas is over, Motörhead wins.
12.12.2017
09:42 am
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I’m pretty sure jokey Christmas sweaters produced in the last several years must by now outnumber the entire total of sincere (if ghastly) ones made since the invention of those oddly specific garments, but once in a while, it’s still possible for one to pop up and make me say “OH, SHIT, I WANT ONE!” It’s been a good two years since that happened (that was when Einstürzende Neubauten produced one, and that was really just a t-shirt), but I just stumbled across one that’s got me wondering if I can maybe cross a couple of giftees off of this year’s nice list so I can afford one for myself—a Motörhead Warpig Christmas sweater. An unofficial one was produced a few years back but promptly got yanked—at the time my DM colleague Martin Schneider called on the band to produce an official one, and it looks like his Christmas wish was granted.
 

 
The Warpig logo, sometimes spelled “War-Pig,” and also variously known as “Snaggletooth” and “The Iron Boar,” has graced all but two of Motörhead’s album covers and been on countless t-shirts, and has also inspired rings, pendants, bottle openers, and even a rubber mask by the celebrated Rick “SikRik” Fisher, also known for his line of DEVO Booji Boy masks. It was designed by Joe Pentagno, an erstwhile Hipgnosis associate who was previously best known for the Icarus logo he designed for Led Zeppelin’s Swan Song imprint. Shortly after Lemmy Kilmister’s death, Pentagno discussed the origin of the logo with Team Rock:

[Lemmy] wasn’t clear on exactly what he wanted, something like a knight or a rusty robot as I remember, a biker patch that could be displayed on the back of a denim vest.

On the way home I stopped off at the library in Chelmsford. Taking my cue from outlaw biker patches, I was looking for skulls and bones when I inadvertently came across a book of animal skulls, then it hit me; an animal skull would work better than a human skull. When I got home and began sketching, I thought; why not invent a new skull, a hybrid? I started playing around with mix and match sketches dog – lion, wolf and so on. In the end I settled on a dog or wolf and gorilla cranium and gave it over-sized wild boar teeth. I hung a chain from the horns left to right under it and a small human skull to designate size, adorned it with an iron cross as a sign of bravery and then topped it off with a few spikes.

When it was finished, I knew I had created something unique and timeless in Snaggletooth. It was the ultimate anti-everything symbol. I look at it this way, there’s is an inherent urge in most individuals to shout and be heard above the din and frenzy of life, and Snaggletooth is a great symbol for standing firm, resisting, rejecting, refusing and rebelling against anything and everything that is detrimental to one’s individuality.

If the $125 asking price for the sweater is too dear, $30 will get you a suitably profane Warpig Christmas tee, or a proper winter cap can be yours for just $20.
 

 
Continues after the jump…

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Posted by Ron Kretsch
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12.12.2017
09:42 am
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Born to be Cheap: This Divine ugly Christmas sweater is REALLY CHEAP
10.20.2017
09:44 am
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“WHO WANTS TO DIE FOR ART?”

 
I’m not one for the whole “ugly Christmas sweater” thing. I think it’s stupid and I think Christmas is stupid, too. Last year I didn’t even get those cha-cha heels I wanted…

That said, this nifty new Divine ugly Christmas sweater—selling for CHEAP—is something that I can get behind.

I was born to be helpless, I was born to be cold
I was born to never do what I’m told
I was to be shallow, wasn’t born to be deep
Of all the things I was born to be CHEAP!

Now you don’t have to be cold (or die for art) and you can still be totally cheap, too. This divine Divine ugly Christmas sweater from the fine folks at Blizzard Bay can be yours for the CHEAP CHEAP price of only $29. It’s CHEAP, but still made of 100% cotton with a cool design of Divine in character as the immortal Babs Johnson from Pink Flamingos.

But Christ on a skateboard, Xmas sweaters already and Halloween’s not even in the rear view mirror yet? Take a gander at Kobe Kai’s divine Divine DIY Halloween costume at her Horror Kitsch Bitch blog. It’s pretty elaborate, with details down to the dogshit.
 

 

 
See more pics and shit at the Horror Kitsch Bitch blog.
 

Divine sings “Born to Be Cheap” on Late Night with David Letterman in 1982.

Posted by Richard Metzger
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10.20.2017
09:44 am
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Slasher movie sweaters and cardigans just in time for the holidays!


 
The department stores are already trotting out their Christmas wares, reminding us that the holidays will soon be upon us and of course that means it’s novelty holiday sweater time!

In the past we’ve hipped our readers to quite a few of these tacky things including Krampus, Einstruzende Neubauten, Fargo, and Satan inspired pieces.

The Mondo/Middle of Beyond folks are the kings of this shit, and they’ve delivered the goods yet again with these killer slasher movie sweaters.

On offer are sweaters depicting Michael Meyers from Halloween, Jason Voohees from Friday the 13th, and three different variants on Freddy Krueger’s iconic green and red striped sweater from A Nightmare of Elm Street. One of the Freddy sweaters is actually a spiffy cardigan. The same company also offers a Gremlins sweater (which we’ve profiled here before) that also comes in a cardigan version.

At $49 each, they aren’t exactly cheap, but I’ve purchased from these dudes before and will personally vouch for their quality.
 

 

 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Christopher Bickel
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10.07.2016
09:39 am
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Christmas is saved by this Blondie ‘X-mas Offender’ sweatshirt
12.21.2015
03:57 pm
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Debbie Harry/Blondie
Blondie “X-mas Offender” Christmas sweatshirt
 
How this amazing piece of Christmas adornment slipped past my radar until now is beyond me but, here it is—an officially licensed Blondie “X-mas Offender” sweatshirt. Squeee! Christmas is saved!

The sweatshirt takes its name from the first single that Blondie ever released in 1976, “X-Offender.” Originally the song was dubbed “Sex Offender” by Blondie bassist, Gary Valentine who co-wrote the song with Debbie Harry. The band’s label at the time, Private Stock put Blondie on blast and made them change the name to “X-Offender.” Usually when suit-types tell the cool kids what to do, it really gets under my skin. But in this case I’m completely okay with it as we now has this super cool sweatshirt to wear that won’t cause people to call the cops on you while you’re out picking up extra Eggnog at midnight at 7-11.

The sweatshirt retails for $25.99 and while it appears that even expedited shipping methods won’t get it to you (if you’re in the U.S.) in time for Christmas, I’m sure quite a few of you will still be picking one up anyway. I know I will.  Get it here.
 

The ageless Debbie Harry performing John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s ““Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” with the Middlechurch East Village Gospel Choir, 2008.

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Cover versions: Debbie Harry stars in pulp romance novels based on Blondie songs

Posted by Cherrybomb
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12.21.2015
03:57 pm
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Ugh, the ironic Xmas sweaters are here. Yay, the first one is Einstürzende Neubauten’s
10.20.2015
10:59 am
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By now, my third autumn with Dangerous Minds, I think I’ve written enough posts about gag Christmas items that the well of anything to say about them—a mighty shallow well to begin with—is beginning to run dry. But I have to share this one, as it’s from those long-lived, acutely teutonic purveyors of experimental industrial clamor Einstürzende Neubauten. That band, since the dawn of the ‘80s, has taken the simple principle that literally anything that makes a sound can be validly harnessed as a musical tool, and ran with it to absurd lengths and sublime effect—notoriously and representatively, they once made an instrument out of a purloined shopping cart and some power drills. The sweater (actually a long sleeved t-shirt, though other garment styles are selectable) is available from Viralstyle, and the design is pretty witty as these things go: it features the band’s familiar Toltec cave-painting human symbol amongst pine trees and snowmen, and a large version of their distinctive variation on Reichsadler heraldry.
 

 

 
Continues after the jump…

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Posted by Ron Kretsch
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10.20.2015
10:59 am
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Satanic Christmas sweaters let you flip the bird (or the goat horns) at the holidays
12.12.2014
01:33 pm
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The ironic phenomenon of ugly Christmas sweaters hit shark-jump levels of cultural saturation so rapidly that I actually can’t even remember any early window of time when it wasn’t irritating (though in all fairness, I get irritated pretty easily). Entirely apart from its annoying ubiquity, the whole thing feels kind of shitty, like it’s not really mocking Christmas to wear them, it’s more like mocking people who just happen to like gaudy sweaters. And is that not punching down?

The upside of this dopey annual crap-pageant has been the profusion of cheeky takedowns. The Descendents have been making awesome gag Christmas sweaters for years, and now, the twisted bastards at Middle of Beyond have given the world outright Satanic Christmas sweaters. MoB, regular DM readers may remember, are the preposterous visionaries who gave the world devil tarot card throw rugs and winter gear patterned after the carpeting in the Overlook Hotel from Stanley Kubrik’s film version of The Shining. I actually plunked for one of those Shining scarves, and to my horror, I found, when it arrived, that it was 100% acrylic (my own fault for neglecting the fine print). But for Christmas sweaters, that material isn’t just a requisite, it’s positively a boon. Designs include a straight up old-fashioned Satanic goat head snugly nestled in a red pentagram, Cthulu, Krampus, and a zombiefied Santa Claus festooned with braaaaaaiiiiiiins. So why settle for giving Christmas the finger when you can flash it the goat horns?
 

 

 

 

 
Previously on Dangerous Minds
Merry Krampus: ‘horribly distasteful Christmas sweater’
Righteous Motörhead Christmas sweater

Posted by Ron Kretsch
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12.12.2014
01:33 pm
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