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For the rich nerd who has everything: 1d20 carved out of woolly mammoth ivory
08.12.2015
07:14 am

Topics:
Animals
Games

Tags:
Dungeons and Dragons
Dice
Woolly Mammoth


 
So you own all the manuals and modules and miniatures, yet still your D&D tabletop feels incomplete. Might we suggest one thing that’s sure to make you the coolest dungeon master on the block: a twenty-sided die carved out of real Pleistocene-era woolly mammoth ivory.

Woolly mammoths, huge elephant-related beasts, roamed the earth until disappearing from their mainland range at the end of the Pleistocene era, some 10,000 years ago. From time-to-time, well-preserved specimens of mammoths are discovered in the frozen bogs of the far North. So well-preserved, in fact, that 250,000-year-old woolly mammoth meat was reportedly served at the 47th Annual Explorer’s Club Dinner to a bunch of rich 1950s nerds.

Apparently the Artisan Dice company was able to get their hands on some of of these rare, well-preserved mammoth remains—specifically the tusks. From this (apparently very foul-smelling) ivory they have created a line of twenty-sided-dice for use in the role-playing game of your choice. Though their site doesn’t mention how they were able to obtain such historically significant remains to carve into RPG accessories, we’re taking their word for it that this is the real deal and that there are no preservationist directives banning the repurposing of mammoth ivory.
 

 
According to their site:

Mammoth ivory has some very unique characteristics hiding within its aged and flaky bark. The inner layers polish to an brilliant luster that showcase a wonderful grain in the form of a subtle cross hatch pattern, and distinctively heavy weight along with a crisp sound when rolled as a die. On top of all that, it produces one hell of a stink when worked. It’s by far one of the worst smells in the shop. Enduring that pungent aroma is well worth the results though as mammoth ivory makes some of the best dice on the planet.

The company made a run of two-dozen dice which were presented in an Eastern Aromatic Cedar box with a Black Walnut insert and priced at a meager $248.00 EACH.
 

 
They sold out of this run within 24 hours of making them available.

But never fear wealthy role-playing game and dead mammal enthusiasts, Artisan Dice promises to be preparing a second run and are currently taking pre-orders.

The mammoths didn’t make their saving throw against extinction, but their power and majesty lives on—possibly in your parents’ den—with these exquisite dice.

You know you want a 1d20 from ca. 20k B.C.

Posted by Christopher Bickel | Leave a comment
Incompetent Spunk Lobster: Tourettes Dice

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Tourettes Dice originally appeared on the B3ta message boards when Duke Euphoria posted a pic with the following note:

I’ve been having fun with my layzor and thought I should show all the lovely people at B3ta* just how much I love them.

Roll these puppies on your favorite flat surface** anytime you feel the need to express yourself through the medium of profanity.

A perfect gift for your grandmother and your aunty Bessie.

There’s been some interest from various people regarding swapping hard earned cash for their own set of dice. Part of the reason I’m posting this is to gauge whether there’s serious enough demand to make it worth getting off my arse and putting a project onto one of the UK crowdfunding sites.

Indeed there was more than enough interest Duke Euphoria’s suggestion and he made his gifts to the English language available at Box of Delights:

Ever been lost for something rude and slightly surreal to say ?

Roll these chaps on your favorite flat surface anytime you feel the need to express yourself through the medium of profanity. A perfect gift for your grandmother or your great aunty Bessie.

Three laser etched 20mm wooden dice.

1) Adjectives.
2) Words that would cause one’s mother an attack of the vapours.
3) Amusing animals from around the globe.

Now you will never be at a loss for words when breaking the ice at parties or, ever fail when attempting to impress young hipsters with your word association skills. Though big, oiled men in budgie-smugglers will still kick sand in your face.

If you fancy buying a set, have a gander elbow monkey fart here.
 
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Previously on Dangerous Minds

Tourettes Karaoke: R.E.M.‘s ‘Losing My Religion’


 
Via B3ta
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment