Say what you will about Glenn Danzig, the man could pen a lyric. In his work with the Misfits in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, he wrote so many indelible ditties it would make your head spin. Gleefully raiding B horror movies from the 1950s and 1960s, the Lodi, NJ, native had a penchant for coming up with unexpectedly poetic wordsmithery (“Demon I am and face I peel,” etc.); the songs are so damn catchy that you’d remember half the lyrics even if you have no aptitude for that.
A Chicago musician and cartoonist going by “Jimmy Two Hands” has, since 2011, been paying tribute to the diminutive punker by mashing him up with Ziggy, “the world’s most lovable loser,” whose eponymous syndicated strip is so bland that only Woody Boyd from Cheers could find it utterly hilarious. Billed as a “series of unfunny comics about the foibles of a diminutive Glen [sic] Danzig,” the comic certainly lives up to that “unfunny” standard. The general idea is, adapt a a lyric by The Misfits (occasionally by Danzig) to a typically anodyne situation from the strip Ziggy. In some of the early strips there is reference to the real-life Glenn Danzig (as in this one or this one), but Jimmy Two Hands quickly realized that the focus was best placed on Misfits lyrics.
As the strip’s creator says, “I’ll keep doing these until I get bored with it or receive a cease and desist order from Danzig or that Ziggy guy,” who apparently is someone named Wilson. The strip was created by Tom Wilson, a former American Greetings executive, but in 1987 his son Tom Wilson II took it over. You’d think that the premise wouldn’t yield more than about ten cartoons, but give Jimmy Two Hands credit—there are several dozen of these things.
My loathing of Glenn Danzig knows no bounds. He’s a dweebie power-mad troll who spends his life over-compensating for the fact that he’s no taller than a fire hydrant and just about as intelligent.
In 2011 he tried to incite a riot at Fun Fun Fun Fest in Austin and ended up looking like a total asswipe.
This time, the prick tried to get fans in Florida to beat up some guy in the crowd shooting a video. As much as I dislike people holding up cameras in front of my line of vision at concerts, no one deserves to be beaten up for it.
Danzig’s a real tough guy when he’s on the stage, but not so tough offstage. Remember when Glenn got this asskicking?.
I guess the guy who took this video survived the lynch mob. He got it up on YouTube.
Fun Fun Fun Fest 2011, the year Danzig tried and failed to incite a riot. (This is not the guy who shot the video.) Photo: Mirgun Akyavas.
No love for Danzig at Fun Fun Fun Fest. Photo: Mirgun Akyavas.
Glenn Danzig makes it so easy to dislike Glenn Danzig. It’s almost as though he’s begging to be hated. This past Friday at Austin’s Fun Fun Fun Fest Danzig unsuccessfully attempted to start a riot after his band’s power was cut by fest promoters when his show went beyond the city’s curfew. Danzig tried to pin the blame for the aborted performance on the fest organizers when actually it was his fault for going on stage 45 minutes late. His arrogance is legendary and must be related to the fact that he’s roughly the same height as a fire hydrant. He’s Mini-Me in Jim Morrison drag. Or as Scott Evil might put it a “vicious little Chihuahua thing.”
FFFF Founder Graham Williams of Transmission Entertainment posted the following on the fest’s Facebook page:
Hi. I book the fest. Someone has your money and ripped you off. His name is Glenn. Stop by his house in LA with some kitty litter in trade for your refund, but we still had to pay him and he didn’t deserve it after what he pulled. Here is how it went down…check the timeline:
-glenn flies in this morning and says he has a cold and doesn’t feel like playing the show. he demands french onion soup and vitamins brought to his hotel suite. he wants the soup now and wants it hot. we get it.
-glenn says it’s freezing in austin and he can’t go on. says it’s going to be 28 degrees tonight and he won’t perform (keep in mind, it’s currently 71 and sunny with a night forecast of maybe 50+). he says we have to move the show/festival inside if we want him to play (obviously, that’s not possible).
-we rent stage heaters (no other bands, public enemy, mcd, passion pit, etc need or want heaters on stage…it’s warm up there and not cold out) for glenn per demand, as well as bring in an onsite doctor to make him happy and be there if his cold doesn’t go away.
-agents and managers assure us he’s going to play now.
-glenn’s band/crew arrive before him in the afternoon and load gear. they said it all works, they get up the danzig banner, check lights, are happy.
-glenn arrives at 7:45 (half hour before showtime, they go on at 8:15 exactly and have a 90 min set…park curfew by the city/police is 10pm sharp)...when he arrives, he says he’s not going to play. says he doesn’t like how the banners are hung on stage and doesn’t like the lighting or stage size (all this was advanced in email and phone well in advance and the band/crew loaded in mid day and were happy with it and said it would work…stage wasn’t small at all). he wouldn’t leave his trailer to go look at the stage, though, so the lighting company drew up specs for him to look at of the stage lighting 50 feet from his trailer and brought it to him to look over and prove him wrong.
-in the meantime, glenn’s bodyguard gets pushy (literally) with murder city devils manager and tells them they can’t have their friends watch MCD from stage and wants them to cut their set. kicks them off stage and gets physical with the band and stafff….oh, also danzig says he’s just as big as slayer and slayer is playing a bigger stage on sunday and that’s bullshit and wants to play the same stage slayer is playing…or won’t play. makes him look bad.
-it’s now 8:15 and time for them to go on. the band is ready, corpse make ups done, guitars tunes. glenn says he’s not playing and that it’s too cold outside. he said big stages should have windscreen so wind can’t blow on him from the side. the stage managers then goes and gets tarps and tarp the entire side of the stage so no wind will hit him.
-it’s now 8:40. we explain that it’s cutting into the set and he’s going to have cut the 90 min set if he doesn’t play soon, as park curfew is 10. he says he doesn’t feel like playing. says “i got a deathbug. if i go on stage and get sick, i’ll die. i’m not getting sicker for this show” (NOTE: he totally looks and seems fine…no coughing, no paleness, no vomiting, just some balding and a gut, from what i can tell). we get the Dr and he says he can do a b12 shot or anything he needs if he feels bad…danzig says he only treats illnesses naturally, so won’t do that. we finally get him to agree to play and have already informed his crew that it’s only 60 mins (9pm at this point) and they start cutting some songs from the set list, so they can still do misfits, but obviously didn’t cut enough.
-they went on almost and hour late due to the HANDS DOWN biggest rock star moment we’ve ever dealt with and then he tries to start a riot and blames the fest, the city, the cops and everyone, but himself. goes backstage and tries to fight a few ppl and get in the van and leaves.
Here’s a video from Friday of Danzig ranting and failing to incite a riot. What a miserable prick.
On Saturday, in the true spirit of rock and roll and with a wicked sense of humor (check out the wig), Ted Leo and The Pharmacists covered some Misfits songs that Danzig didn’t get around to the night before. Overnight, Danzig had become the laughing stock of the festival. The Damned made some choice cracks about Glenn’s hissy fit during their set.
My comrades at Dangerous Minds will probably have a shit fit at my posting another mashup, but this one was too damn cool to pass up. And I like anything that involves epic emoter, the queen of mean, Glenn Danzig.
DJ Schmolli mixes Rihanna with Danzig and Billy Idol for the “ultimate evil summer hit.”
I think it’s hilarious. Mucho macho meets a sweet reggaefied rhythm track and suddenly the boys don’t look so tough.
Danzig cancelled a Minneapolis gig at the last moment on Tuesday night because the venue where he was booked didn’t have high enough ceilings. Shit, considering Glenn is only a few inches taller than your average dwarf, those ceilings must have been really really low. Danzig’s star tripping cost the Cabooze club and its employees some serious revenue. According to reports, the former Misfit was a major pain in the ass.
Last night Danzig, sourpuss extraordinaire, was scheduled to appear at the Cabooze in support of his new record, Deth Red Sabaoth, that no one’s heard of. Looks like it will probably stay that way, at least around the Twin Cities.
A spokesperson for the club said…
He walked off the show before we even opened the doors. They picked him up around noonish, he was pretty bitter then. Then it just went from bad to worse, idle threats, and then finally he just said “fuck it, I’m outta here.”
Following on from Elvin’s post about Biebians, below, I thought I’d post this cool tee-shirt image rendering the teen heartthrob ala the Misfits logo. (It’s pretty amazing to consider that Justin Bieber has only been on the scene such a short time, but his hairstyle has already become iconic!)