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Failed end of the world prophet Harold Camping getting out of the Rapture business


Above, a fucking idiot.

Harold Camping, the 89-year-old coot preacher who achieved fame for repeatedly getting the date of “The Rapture” wrong says he finds his situation “embarrassing” and is getting out of the prophecy business. Probably a good idea at his age… and with his track record!

“We’re living in a day when one problem follows another, and when it comes trying to recognize the truth of prophecy we’re finding it very, very difficult,” Camping said in an audio file posted to his Family Radio website yesterday. Via the NY Daily News:

Camping has made several predictions about the end of the world over the years. He claimed the end was nigh in 1994, then again in May of this year. When that didn’t happen, he said it would be Oct. 21.

“Why didn’t Christ return on Oct. 21?” he asked. “It seems embarrassing for Family Radio, but God is in charge of everything.”

The minister noted that no matter what people may think is in the Bible, ultimately God has the final word and isn’t obligated to reveal his plans.

“There’s one thing that we must remember,” Camping said. “God is in charge of this whole business, and we are not. What God wants to tell us is his business, when he wants to tell us is his business.”

The failed prognosticator also said he was sorry for saying that anyone who didn’t believe in his incorrect predictions would not be saved.

“I should not have said that and I apologize,” Camping said.

The Oakland-based preacher added that just because he was wrong, people shouldn’t lose their faith.

“We should not for a moment feel that we’ve been abandoned by God,” he said.

Really? Why not? I’m sure that schmuck who spent his pension on those “repent the end is near” subway posters feels pretty alone right about now…

Posted by Richard Metzger
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11.01.2011
02:05 pm
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Important Reminder: It’s the Rapture today!
10.21.2011
12:51 pm
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Well, according to Harold Camping it is. And to think I almost forgot!

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
New Rapture date predicted, just 11 days away!

Posted by Tara McGinley
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10.21.2011
12:51 pm
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New Rapture date predicted, just 11 days away!
10.10.2011
02:08 pm
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Failed endtimes “prophet” Harold Camping just won’t quit. He’s the Energizer bunny of doomsday seers. Despite getting getting his predictions for the date of the Rapture wrong several times, the 90-year-old coot is still promising that Christians are going to get snatched up into Heaven. The revised Rapture date is just eleven days away! Oh noes!

Camping, who was in a nursing home following a stroke in June, is now recovering at home. He recently recorded an audio message for the Family Radio network’s website, the text, via Beliefnet, is below:

Hello, this is Harold Camping with a few ideas or a few statements so that you can know where I am in this whole picture. I am very, very glad that God has been with me. I’m slowly getting healed, although I still have a long ways to go. There’s been one big change, and that is that I have been able to leave the hospital and now I am able to live with my dear wife at home and that has been very, very comforting and very happy for me. I’m still a long way away from being healed but there is progress being made and at times it looks like it’s very substantial progress, although I still have along way to go. I am particularly grateful when I hear about your prayers and your concerns for my health and well-being and I’m glad that God is answering those prayers.

I do believe that we’re getting very near the very end. We [could not] have known… we’ve learned that there’s a lot of things that we didn’t have quite right and that’s God’s good provision. If he had not kept us from knowing everything that we didn’t know, we would not have been able to be used of Him to bring about the tremendous event that occurred on May 21 of this year, and which probably will be finished out on October 21, that’s coming very shortly. That looks like it will be at this point, it looks like it will be the final end of everything. It also looks like that as God is developing the details for us we are learning from the Bible, God’s details of the end. We find that God is not a respecter of persons. He has no pleasure in the death of the wicked, some of them most wicked in the world, like the son of David who rebelled against David and David cried out: ‘I wish that you were me rather than he.’ That was Absalom, of whom we read quite a bit about in the Bible, and it encourages us to believe that all of our unsaved loved ones will not receive special vengeance of God at all. God says ‘vengeance is mine,’ and that means that He’s going to apply the vengeance that He wants to apply. And when we study the historical record of his application of vengeance, taking for example the prime illustration – the son of David who rebelled and wanted to take the throne and then saw David weeping and wailing over him. We must believe that probably there will be no pain suffered by anyone because of their rebellion against God. This is very comforting to all of us, because we all have children, and have loved ones that are dear to us that we know are not saved; and yet we know that they’ll quietly die. We can be more and more sure that they will quietly die and that will be the end of their story.

Whereas the true believers will quietly receive the new heaven and the new earth. I really am beginning to think as I restudied these matters that there’s going to be no big display of any kind. The end is going to come very, very quietly probably within the next month. It will happen, that is, by October 21.

In the meanwhile, oh my, it’s been so good to hear about those who are continuing to be faithful. They, undoubtedly, are the elect of God, and we know absolutely that the elect will be saved. There is no question at all about that. And we know that there are in the Family Radio many who have been so faithful and are remaining faithful right to the end. Praise God for that.

And so we’re continuing on. By God’s mercy I’m able to do a little bit more in the movement, because I’m no longer in a hospital. But I’m still limited, but on the other hand, there is growth and things are getting better as we go along and maybe God will keep me till the end also so that together we can go to be with Him forever more, and I am very convinced that all of the elect will definitely end up with the Lord Jesus Christ in a very, very few weeks. Thank you so much for allowing me to speak to you. I am so grateful and I wish that I were well, but on the other hand, I know my work has been done and I can wait on the Lord knowing that He will complete it through others as He is so doing right now. Goodbye and may God bless each one of you.”

Why doesn’t this chap just fuck the fuck off, anyway?

Via Christian Nightmares

Posted by Richard Metzger
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10.10.2011
02:08 pm
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Harold Camping: The Zombie Apocalypse happens October 21
06.02.2011
09:24 pm
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Since the Rapture failed to materialize as predicted on May 21, the mainstream media has pretty much dropped 89-year-old crazy Christian doomsday kook Harold Camping and his un-Raptured followers like…well… the goofy losers they are. And rightfully so.

However, according to the Christian Post website which has continued following his dumbshit antics, Camping still insists that the Rapture DID IN FACT occur but only in a SPIRITUAL sense! Camping maintains that his dates for a May 21 Judgment Day and a October 21 real Doomsday are STILL—despite EVERY EVERY SINGLE BIT OF EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY—accurate and absolutely right on target. He was expecting maybe a little more in the way of some box office boffo special effects, sure, maybe some floods and for the earth to be torn asunder, but, hey, the Lord works in mysterious ways, fella! It’s not all shock and awe:

Judgment Day on May 21 did come, asserted Camping. However, he clarified that the Judgment Day arrived in a spiritual sense rather than manifesting in a physical Rapture.

On Monday, a caller asked Camping whether they would see any signs from Deuteronomy 28, beginning with verse 15, fulfilled in the coming End Days. The passage refers to the curse of God for those who disobey his teachings.

“Those who are unsaved are going to experience the curse of God,” affirmed Camping, president of Family Radio.

He predicted that whatever of a person’s corpse is left in the grave on October 21 “will be thrown out of the grave” and be “like manure on the ground.” Furthermore, those who die on October 21 won’t receive a burial, said Camping.

“They will be shamed in the eyes of God,” he said.

“On the last day, all the unsaved are going to come under the curse of God. They are going to be thrown out of the grave if there are still a corpse there or bones. If they are in the grave, they will be shamed in the eyes of God. If they die on that day, they’re not going to be buried. They’re going to be shamed in the eyes of God,” Camping further predicted.

He explained that the actual person himself will not really experience any of this beastliness because they are already dead. You mean like zombies? Exactly!

“But they will be shamed,” Camping insists. This coming from someone so impervious to shame himself, of course, but I digress…

Also on Monday’s radio show, Camping took some hits from a few of his pissed-off followers—some who are now broke and having a crisis of faith—on his radio show:

“I’ve been studying the Bible with you all those years,” said the caller Monday.

“I thought nothing would shake my faith that I would go through all the tribulations and all that. But now that I see that it didn’t happen once again, all I look at is disappointment from our Father.”

The caller commended Camping for “staying faithful” but expressed his own lack thereof.

“In my case, I don’t know what it means to be faithful anymore because I am really disappointed,” the caller said in a saddened voice.

—snip—

One ex-follower was so upset over Camping’s failed prediction that he threatened the doomsday speaker with violence and used profanity to address him.

“You’re really pathetic, you know? I wasted all my money because of you. I was putting all my money and my hopes on you,” an angry caller told Camping.

“Do you understand? I wish I could see you face to face, I would smack you.”

Camping attempted to explain himself but the caller sounded like he had enough.

“Mr. Camping, you always say a lot of (expletive). I lost all my money because of you, you (expletive),” said the caller.

I don’t feel one single lick of sympathy for these fuckin’ people. They got EXACTLY what they deserved: A really expensive lesson in REALITY.

Posted by Richard Metzger
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06.02.2011
09:24 pm
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Apocalypse Nowt: Harold Camping speaks!
05.23.2011
09:38 pm
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A broken and bewildered Harold Camping speaks after the failed Rapture…
 

Posted by Richard Metzger
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05.23.2011
09:38 pm
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The Rapture will occur on May 21, 2011 (fingers crossed!)

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“As it was in the days of Noah, so shall it be in the days of the Son of Man.”—Luke 17

We covered crazy old coot, Harold Camping last year around this time when Camping and his dim-witted followers/employees announced that the Rapture was coming on May 21, 2011. Of course, Mr. Camping has made incorrect predictions in the past about the end of the world, but this hasn’t stopped him from trying again (hey, a stopped clock is right twice a day, isn’t it?). This time Camping is SO SURE that he got the math right, that he and his followers/employees have announced an aggressive advertising campaign with tee-shirts, tracts, postcards, stickers, outdoor advertising and even e-Bibles that the younger set can use on their iThingees.

Family Radio Inc., Camping’s company has also set up WeCanKnow.com, where you can learn all about the various ways the great man figured out when the Rapture would take place. How convenient that this is all happening when Camping himself is only 88-years-young. If his batshit crazy wish fulfillment nonsense turns out to be correct, HE’LL NEVER HAVE TO DIE. (And what’s more, when the Rapture comes, he’ll be young again! All the people in Heaven are in their prime. We know this because a kid who had an NDE told Gretchen Carlson all about it on Fox News!).

It’s all just a matter of simple math! From The Tennessean:

According to Camping’s prediction, the Rapture will happen exactly 7,000 years from the date that God first warned people about the flood. He said the flood happened in 4990 B.C., on what would have been May 21 in the modern calendar. God gave Noah one week of warning.

Since one day equals 1,000 years for God, that means there was a 7,000-year interval between the flood and rapture.

Got it?

Billboards like the one above are about to start appearing in Louisville, St. Louis, Detroit, Little Rock, Omaha, Kansas City, Fort Wayne, Ind., and Bridgeport, Conn. There are already 40 such signs in the Nashville area alone. Family Radio Inc., will also be sending RVs around the country with witnesses for Camping’s Rapture date prediction.

I look at it this way: I’d love it if Camping were correct and all the Christians (including Sarah Palin, the Teabaggers, Bryan Fischer, etc) get whisked up to Heaven en masse with Baby Jesus and assigned their fucking harps. We’d all wake up in a much saner world on May 22, 2011, if you ask me. Good riddance.

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
2012 is for Suckers, part 2: Old Coot says Rapture nigh

Posted by Richard Metzger
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12.02.2010
11:40 am
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2012 is for suckers, part 2: Old coot says Rapture nigh
01.03.2010
11:53 am
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88-year old Harold Camping, was wrong about the end of the world once, but this time he’s sure he’s right. For 70 years, Camping has crunched the numbers, developing, he claims, a mathematical system of interpreting divine prophecies from the Bible. Camping laughs off all this 2012 stuff. Why who’d be silly enough to buy into that whale of a tale? According to The San Francisco Chronicle:

“That date has not one stitch of biblical authority,” Camping says from the Oakland office where he runs Family Radio, an evangelical station that reaches listeners around the world. “It’s like a fairy tale.”

The real date for the end of times, he says, is in 2011.

Okay… sure… but this isn’t the first end of the world date that Camping has predicted! He’s already gotten it wrong once:

On Sept. 6, 1994, dozens of Camping’s believers gathered inside Alameda’s Veterans Memorial Building to await the return of Christ, an event Camping had promised for two years. Followers dressed children in their Sunday best and held Bibles open-faced toward heaven.

But the world did not end. Camping allowed that he may have made a mathematical error. He spent the next decade running new calculations, as well as overseeing a media company that has grown significantly in size and reach.

You see, Camping is following the first—and by far most important—rule of the failed doomsday prophet: If at first you don’t succeed, DIG IN!

By Camping’s understanding, the Bible was dictated by God and every word and number carries a spiritual significance. He noticed that particular numbers appeared in the Bible at the same time particular themes are discussed.

The number 5, Camping concluded, equals “atonement.” Ten is “completeness.” Seventeen means “heaven.” Camping patiently explained how he reached his conclusion for May 21, 2011. “Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D.,” he began. “Now go to April 1 of 2011 A.D., and that’s 1,978 years.” Camping then multiplied 1,978 by 365.2422 days - the number of days in each solar year, not to be confused with a calendar year.

Next, Camping noted that April 1 to May 21 encompasses 51 days. Add 51 to the sum of previous multiplication total, and it equals 722,500. Camping realized that (5 x 10 x 17) x (5 x 10 x 17) = 722,500. Or put into words: (Atonement x Completeness x Heaven), squared.

“Five times 10 times 17 is telling you a story,” Camping said. “It’s the story from the time Christ made payment for your sins until you’re completely saved.

“I tell ya, I just about fell off my chair when I realized that,” Camping said.

Me too, grandpa. laughing…
 

 
Biblical scholar’s date for rapture: May 21, 2011 (San Francisco Chronicle)

Posted by Richard Metzger
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01.03.2010
11:53 am
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