Rain of Biblical proportions forces ‘Jesus’ to wear an anorak
04.22.2014
09:22 am

Topics:
Belief

Tags:
Jesus


 
Torrential rain poured down Easter Sunday at St. Peter’s Church in Brighton during an open air Passion Play performed by Soul by the Sea. Jesus, his disciples and the rest of the cast were forced to wear raincoats.

According to reports, the performance otherwise “went off without a hitch”!
 
Via Arbroath

Written by Tara McGinley | Discussion
‘Son-O’-God Comics’: National Lampoon’s cheerfully offensive super-hero Jesus


 
I live in Los Angeles and believe me when I tell you that I had not heard a single peep about that new Jesus movie—Mark Burnett and Roma Downey’s Son of God—because, well, they don’t really market religious films here. In a city festooned with billboards for every damned offering large or small, good or bad that the industrial entertainment complex has in store for us, I think they figured that religious films aren’t for we West Coast heathens; that it’s a waste of money even bothering trying to, er, convert us, even for a big budget picture like Son of God. I can’t imagine Fox spent too much money marketing the film in NYC, either.

Nope, I only heard about this religious blockbuster after the fact, when all of the rightwing blogs like NewsMax, Breitbart and WorldNutDaily were crowing about how Jesus nearly kicked Liam Neeson’s ass in the box office boffo sweepstakes over the weekend. Go Jesus! (Is there anything, and I do mean anything, more pathetic than “rooting” for a movie, let alone pulling for the founder of Christianity to beat the crap out of a formulaic Hollywood action flick? Nothing, right?)

All this goofiness caused me to recall the cheerfully blasphemous “Son-O’-God Comics” that ran in a few 1970s issues of National Lampoon magazine.
 

 
In the Lampoon version of the New Testament’s central figure, “Benny Davis” a nerdy failure-to-launch boychick still living with his parents in Brooklyn, says the name “JESUS CHRIST!” (but not in vain) and transforms (ala Captain Marvel) into a muscular WASP super-hero version of Jesus with a six-pack, cape and halo, ready to do battle with Catholicism, Islam, the Scarlet Woman of Babylon, the Antichrist and even Bob Dylan.
 

 
The occasionally recurring strip was written by Sean Kelly (who would go on to become the founding editor of Heavy Metal magazine) and Michel Choquette, and (mostly) drawn by well-known comics artist Neal Adams, a “Silver Age” illustrator who worked on Batman for DC and a gazillion other comics.
 

 
I would be remiss in my duties writing on this topic without at least quickly mentioning how underrated National Lampoon is in terms of that magazine’s amazing and ground-breaking art-direction. If you consider that the 20th century will be looked upon as the golden era of the printed page, to my mind, the Lampoon’s Design Director, Michael Gross and Art Director David Kaestle created the most creatively free-wheeling and conversely the most detail-oriented magazine design on the planet. What they brought to America’s premiere countercultural humor magazine was an exacting eye for authenticity. If you were going to parody or satirize popular culture, it needed to actually LOOK LIKE the things you were referring to, or the joke would be lost. That was more or less a new idea at the time. In my opinion, the four years that Gross and Kaestle worked on National Lampoon is THE high point of art direction for a monthly print publication. Everyone always points to the the George Lois-era Esquire as the pinnacle of graphic design in magazines—and it’s great stuff, don’t get me wrong—but the Lampoon was even better, had more nuance and yet Gross and Kaestle’s work rarely gets the credit it deserves.
 

 
You can find out everything you always wanted to know about “Son-O’-God Comics” at Dial B for Blog.

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
Inexplicably compelling (and just plain weird) Jesus paintings
10.18.2013
10:29 am

Topics:
Amusing
Art
Belief

Tags:
Jesus


Wall Street Jesus makin’ a deal…
 
You may have already seen a few of these paintings by artist and Jesus-enthusiast, Nathan Greene. I recall seeing some of these paintings a couple of years ago on the Internet and being completely confused by them and yet, not being able to look away!  They’re strangely compelling, right?

Nathan’s paintings don’t come cheap, costing upwards of $1,495. Thankfully, there are prints available at cheaper prices.

There’s a whole gallery here if you’d like to take a gander at even more.


Adam and Eve? Or is it Jon Hamm and Mila Kunis?
 

Jesus jokes with a little girl: “I tawt I taw a putty tat.”
 

Jesus helps a perplexed scientist get his head around Darwin…
 

Would Jesus in the operating room be comforting or just the opposite?
 

Jesus watches over you while you sleep. That’s not cool.

With thanks to Arya Senboutaraj!

Written by Tara McGinley | Discussion
Kenny Loggins died for your sins!
04.03.2013
12:58 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Belief
Music

Tags:
Jesus
Kenny Loggins


 
(The alternate title could have been “Loggins and Messiah,” but I went with the one I thought was the most, you know, commercial).

In case you have trouble reading it, here’s what it says:

Who is this man?
Kenny Loggins.

How does his death help us?
No more bad songs.

Why is it important we remember him?
Highway to the Danger Zone was ok.

Via Christian Nightmares

Written by Tara McGinley | Discussion
Vintage ‘Jesus’ skate park ID cards
03.19.2013
10:39 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
Jesus
skateboards
Skate


 
Yes, even Jesus needed an ID card to skate back in the day.

As a side note: They’re probably ‘shopped—maybe not—but this is still funny, nonetheless.
 

 
Bonus image, below:


Photo source: The World’s Best Ever

Written by Tara McGinley | Discussion
Jesus burrito kept in fur-lined box helps Texas man win lotto
12.20.2012
10:03 am

Topics:
Belief
Kooks

Tags:
Jesus


 
Or something like that.

Rene Cantu a 26-year-old San Antonio man who says he suffered from bad luck claims his life changed for the better when he saw the face of Jesus burned into the tortilla of his breakfast burrito.

I like how he takes his own personal (burrito) Jesus with him when he buys his lotto tickets. I think I would do that too. Via KVUE TV:

“I’ve been having a lot of bad stuff happen to me,” said Cantu. “Ever since this happened it’s been good luck to me. Every time I take it to the store I get a Lotto and I win!”

He said it also reminds him of his blessed life.

“A little Savior watching over me,” said Cantu as he glanced at his tortilla wrapped in a fur blanket.  Cantu keeps it well preserved in a box, and even poured transparent glue over it to seal it.

“It brings me a lot of faith and hope and maybe I can bring people faith and hope, too,” he said.

 

     

 
Via Christian Nightmares, now accepting submissions at Christian Nightmares, Too. Tell of your Christian nightmare, why don’t you?

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
Virgin Mary and Jesus press-on nails
12.10.2012
09:41 am

Topics:
Amusing
Belief
Fashion

Tags:
Jesus
Fingernails
Virgin Mary


 
These will go nicely with my fake Virgin Mary Rolex.

Via Everlasting Blort

Written by Tara McGinley | Discussion
Jesus tries to cheer up Paul McCartney with a Lamb Chop sock puppet
05.04.2012
08:57 am

Topics:
Amusing
Art
Belief
Movies

Tags:
Paul McCartney
Jesus
Lamb Chop


 
There’s so much going on in this painting, titled “Jesus Broke Out the Lambchop Puppet and Hired an Angel to Try and Cheer Up a Clinically Depressed Paul McCartney,” by Kata Billups, that I just had to share.

Instead of breaking this puppy down for you, I zoomed in and took a few detailed screen shots so you can figure out what the hell is going on here on your own.

It’s deep.

From the artist:

This scenario from my imagination shows Jesus visiting a clinically depressed Paul McCartney. He is sitting on Paul’s right side and slides a Lamb chop Puppet in to Paul’s peripheral field of vision. Paul hasn’t bothered to get out of his robe. His white socks dangle off the ends of his toes. He is depressed and disheveled. On the wall behind him is the cause of his plight… Yoko…

Who is the happy, house-cleaning angel supposed to represent, I wonder?

The painting is currently on eBay and has a “Buy It Now” for $177,000.000.


 

 

 
Via Christian Nightmares

Written by Tara McGinley | Discussion
Jesus
12.08.2011
08:22 am

Topics:
Amusing
Movies

Tags:
Jesus
The Big Lebowski
Jesus Quintana


 
Nobody fucks with the Jesus!
 
(via Nerdcore)

Written by Tara McGinley | Discussion
‘Jesus called and Kim answered’
11.15.2011
09:09 am

Topics:
Amusing
Belief

Tags:
Jesus
gravestones


 
Note to self: Screen ALL calls from now on…

(via Joe. My. God. )

Written by Tara McGinley | Discussion
Jesus Christ spotted on dog’s butt
11.14.2011
04:56 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Animals
Belief
Unorthodox

Tags:
Jesus
Pugs
Dog butt


 
Redditor Feature_Creature posted this photo of his cute little pug’s behind and says, “It’s a MIRACLE! Take that…. Jesus toast.”

I think this is the longest I’ve ever stared at a dog’s puckered starfish.

Click here to see larger image. 

(via reddit )

Written by Tara McGinley | Discussion
Would Jesus Occupy Wall Street?


 
There’s a fascinating article at Michigan Live about the faith community’s efforts to connect to the burgeoning Occupy Wall Street movement. I must say (and I’m as secular as they come) I did actually describe my three recent visits to Occupy Wall Street to several people as being like “Going to a new church and EVERYONE you meet is friendly and very WELCOMING.” There’s something special going on at Zuccotti Park and if you think otherwise you are… wrong.

It makes sense that a state as hard hit economically as Michigan has been would have clergy so supportive of the anti-capitalist protests. It’s because they know what post-capitalism looks like in Michigan! The clergy truly cater to the poor there, it’s not a joke to them. The support for Occupy Wall Street is even coming directly from the pulpit as the (appropriate) question is asked:

If Jesus were alive today, would he be at Occupy Wall Street movement?

As senior pastor of the nondenominational Fountain Street Church, [Rev. Fred] Wooden delivered a sermon this month which highlighted the similarities between the Occupy movement’s cry for economic equality and the gospel story of Jesus cleansing the temple by casting out the money changers.

But Wooden didn’t stop at words when it came to expressing solidarity with the Occupy movement. The church has allowed the Occupy Grand Rapids protesters to camp in its parking lot at night and is providing other support measures.

It appears the movement has found an ally in the faith community due to their cry for social and economic justice. On Monday, the Vatican’s call for the establishment of a “global public authority” and a “central world bank” to rule over financial institutions was seen immediately as a measure of support for Occupy Wall Street.

“The economic and financial crisis which the world is going through calls everyone, individuals and peoples, to examine in depth the principles and the cultural and moral values at the basis of social coexistence,” the Vatican’s Justice and Peace document said.

—Snip—

Although some have criticized the movement’s message as muddled and diluted by fringe elements taking rhetorical refuge under the Occupy umbrella, Belief Watch columnist Lisa Miller points out that the Jesus of history would have loved them all.

Jesus gave preferential treatment to society’s outcasts, wrote Miller recently in the Washington Post. “Lepers, tax collectors, prostitutes — all would attain heaven before the ordained elites.” And, she argues, Jesus says in the Gospels that the meek will inherit the Earth.
“There would be no Wall Street if Jesus and Mohammad had their way,” said Ghazala Munir, one of the founders of the Interfaith Dialogue Association in West Michigan, during the Oct. 19 panel discussion at Fountain Street Church.

Jim Wallis, founder of Sojourners and current chair of the Global Agenda Council on Faith for the World Economic Forum, recently wrote a new book called “Rediscovering Values: On Wall Street, Main Street, and Your Street — A Moral Compass for the New Economy.”
“Don’t expect the Occupy protesters to produce a list of policy demands, Wallis said. That’s not their purpose. Rather, they are creating space for the fundamental questions about social justice that weren’t being asked before this fall.”

Wallis said Washington, D.C., is not a place where change originates, but where change arrives. If nothing else, the movement has been successful in refocusing the media and politicians on the problem of inequality, he said.

“The Bible says you see the truth of a society more clearly from the bottom and the edges than from the top.”

It’s interesting to read this brain-damaged comments thread at NewsBusters for the opposite side of this issue, including who Jesus would hate, using nukes on OWS, etc, etc.

For more of the flipside of things, rightwing radio fuckwit Michael Savage pukes up some bile on the “Would Jesus Occupy Wall Street?” question: “Jesus was not a communist, that I can tell you!” sez Savage. What kind of bitter, mean old white guys would listen to a radio show like this every day? A few minutes of Michael Savage is enough to be mildly upsetting. He’s a humorless, witless creep who makes Rush Limbaugh seem like a master showman by comparison. Enjoy!
 

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
Jesus’ Facebook profile photo
09.28.2011
08:38 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
Facebook
Jesus


 
At least The Lord, Our Savior isn’t making “duckface.”

(via Cynical-C)

Written by Tara McGinley | Discussion
Michele Bachmann targeted by Christian group: ‘Jesus would support this bill’


 
A progressive Christian group is pressuring U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann to support President Obama’s jobs plan using the story of the loaves and fishes to demand a tax increase on the wealthiest Americans. Although I think this is hilarious and support their efforts, good luck with this line of reasoning and “Crazy Eyes”. Via the Minnesota Independent:

“Jesus would support this bill,” said Brandon Nessen, the group’s spokesperson. “Ask the wealthiest to contribute so that ordinary families can get back on two feet again.”

The group will re-enact the biblical story of Jesus Christ using either five or seven loaves of bread and several small fish, depending on the version of the story, to feed thousands of starving people. The story is seen as a lesson to help the less fortunate.

The event is being organized by members of the “religious left,” according to a press release. “A group of church-going progressives will descend on her Woodbury office to ask her to support President Obama’s jobs bill, which would use revenue from taxes on the wealthiest Americans to pay for infrastructure projects and other bipartisan policies aimed at stimulating job growth,” the group’s statement said. “The group will reenact a version of the biblical story of Loaves and Fishes to demonstrate that Jesus created abundance from apparent scarcity just as Congress could do with the President’s jobs package.”

The group, calling itself the “Spirit of Truth Faith Community” describe themselves as “a faith community from the Christian tradition that strives to put love and justice at the center of everything we do. We are a group of people who realized we wanted to live out our values of love and justice, and that we needed a faith community to do it.”

The cognitive dissonance that this must cause for Bachmann is funny to contemplate…

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
Loco for Jesus (I mean really loco for Jesus)
09.14.2011
11:31 am

Topics:

Tags:
Jesus


 
“Joe Simmons used to be your average teenager…”

The less said about this before you watch it, the better, probably…

This clip is from a video entitled “How to be a Real Man,” found at a flea market in Berea, Ohio. Why does he punch his friend in the face for no reason at all?
 

 
Via Christian Nightmares

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
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