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This photographer went to a Biblical theme park in Florida, so you don’t have to


Going through the metal detectors… just like Jesus used to to do
 
Photographer Daniel Cronin traveled far from his secular home of Portland, Oregon to the ancient and sacred land of Orlando, Florida to visit The Holy Land Experience, a Biblical theme park owned and operated by the Trinity Broadcasting Network (the station now run by that half-assed, pink haired Tammy Faye knock-off, Jan Crouch). It’s is about as chintzy as you’d expect—lots of suspiciously Nordic-looking Jesi, a disorienting sense of anachronism with costumed employees running the snack stands and metal detectors, the gory crucifixion reenactment, a slightly Rococo color palette—the works, really.

As with all televangelist ventures, The Holy Land Experience (which is legally a non-profit) has been mired in controversy. Founded by Marvin Rosenthal (who was born Jewish before his conversion, if you hadn’t guessed), the park attracted the ire of the Jewish Defense League who protested its opening believing it to be a ploy to convert Jews to Christianity. Of course it wouldn’t be Christian edutainment without some alleged misappropriation of funds—the HLE manages to avoid paying property taxes (amounting to $300,000 a year) by reclassifying itself as a “museum,” as opposed to, you know, a theme park. Also, HLE Director and CEO Jan Crouch has been accused (by her own granddaughter, no less) of ripping off both the Trinity Broadcasting Network and the park. For two years during The Holy Land Experience’s construction, her two pampered pooches (both Maltese, a toy breed) got their own luxury hotel room adjoining her own.

You know… just like Jesus’s pups!
 

 

 

 
More after the jump…

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
Sacrilicious! Our Barbie of Guadalupe meets Crucified Ken


 
The only two English words on the Facebook About page for Argentine art duo Pool & Marianela are “Lowbrow art.” Their portfolio is loaded with exquisitely detourned children’s toys, mostly Barbie and Ken dolls refashioned into Catholic icons. If you just rolled your eyes, I totally get why, but take a look at this stuff—this is no mad-at-daddy art student hack job. All the details in the garments and packaging are thoroughly considered and painstakingly well executed.
 

 

 
Unsurprisingly, the duo has sparked controversy in heavily Catholic Latin America. The works will be exhibited in Buenos Aires, starting on October 11, in a show called “Barbie, The Plastic Religion.” The pair are clearly quite keen to agitate—they’re also known for making inflatable punching bags of Argentine public figures.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Lastly, check out their St. George slaying a My Little Pony. I actually laughed aloud a little bit.
 

 
Via Latino Rebels

Previously on Dangerous Minds
Barbie doll created with average US woman’s measurements is repulsive hag
Skinhead Darby and Mohawk Ben:’ Hilariously ‘insider’ punk Barbie doll Parody from 1982

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
Texas woman sees Jesus on moth’s wings; others see THE DEVIL
09.02.2014
08:42 am

Topics:
Amusing
Belief

Tags:
Jesus
moths


 
Texas-based mother Yvonne Esquilin swears God was trying to send her message through the yellow and brown patterns on the wings of a large yellow and brown Imperial Moth that came to stay in her home for a few days.

“At first it looked like Jesus,” she said, “and I still think it looks like Jesus.”

Esquilin had been praying for a way to continue her daughter’s education, and believes that the timing of the moth’s appearance is significant. The family also discovered that the color yellow symbolises hope, and brown represents important news.

“I believe this was a sign,” she explained. “God is letting me know good news is coming and to keep the hope.”

Okay sure, whatever you say, lady. Keep the faith! Still other observers of the moth, which does appear to be emblazoned with an image of a man with long hair and a beard if you squint a bit, aren’t sure if it’s the Son o’ God or maybe it’s like an evil sorcerer or sumpthin’.

“People also saw an image of the Devil which is kind of creepy but after staring at it for so long it almost looks like it,” Ms. Esquilin said.

Hard to say what this mixed moth message means, isn’t it?


 
via Christian Nightmares and Christian Today

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Autographed portrait of Jesus goes up for auction
06.26.2014
11:17 am

Topics:
Amusing
Belief

Tags:
Jesus


 
This 1969 “autographed” portrait of Jesus signed “With love, J” is going up for auction on August 17, at 8:00am sharp! It’s estimated to bring in anywhere from $100-$200. Only $200 for the John Hancock of our Lord and savior? Really? What is this world coming to?!

If you’re interested in this goofy hippie-era artifact, you can check out the listing at Live Auctioneers. The seller also has this one up for auction:
 

 
No, but I checked under the fridge…

Last week Jesus turned up with a lamb in Arizona… on an apple. Only watch this segment if you aren’t worried about losing brain cells. You have been warned.
 

 
Via Christian Nightmares

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Rain of Biblical proportions forces ‘Jesus’ to wear an anorak
04.22.2014
09:22 am

Topics:
Belief

Tags:
Jesus


 
Torrential rain poured down Easter Sunday at St. Peter’s Church in Brighton during an open air Passion Play performed by Soul by the Sea. Jesus, his disciples and the rest of the cast were forced to wear raincoats.

According to reports, the performance otherwise “went off without a hitch”!
 
Via Arbroath

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
‘Son-O’-God Comics’: National Lampoon’s cheerfully offensive super-hero Jesus


 
I live in Los Angeles and believe me when I tell you that I had not heard a single peep about that new Jesus movie—Mark Burnett and Roma Downey’s Son of God—because, well, they don’t really market religious films here. In a city festooned with billboards for every damned offering large or small, good or bad that the industrial entertainment complex has in store for us, I think they figured that religious films aren’t for we West Coast heathens; that it’s a waste of money even bothering trying to, er, convert us, even for a big budget picture like Son of God. I can’t imagine Fox spent too much money marketing the film in NYC, either.

Nope, I only heard about this religious blockbuster after the fact, when all of the rightwing blogs like NewsMax, Breitbart and WorldNutDaily were crowing about how Jesus nearly kicked Liam Neeson’s ass in the box office boffo sweepstakes over the weekend. Go Jesus! (Is there anything, and I do mean anything, more pathetic than “rooting” for a movie, let alone pulling for the founder of Christianity to beat the crap out of a formulaic Hollywood action flick? Nothing, right?)

All this goofiness caused me to recall the cheerfully blasphemous “Son-O’-God Comics” that ran in a few 1970s issues of National Lampoon magazine.
 

 
In the Lampoon version of the New Testament’s central figure, “Benny Davis” a nerdy failure-to-launch boychick still living with his parents in Brooklyn, says the name “JESUS CHRIST!” (but not in vain) and transforms (ala Captain Marvel) into a muscular WASP super-hero version of Jesus with a six-pack, cape and halo, ready to do battle with Catholicism, Islam, the Scarlet Woman of Babylon, the Antichrist and even Bob Dylan.
 

 
The occasionally recurring strip was written by Sean Kelly (who would go on to become the founding editor of Heavy Metal magazine) and Michel Choquette, and (mostly) drawn by well-known comics artist Neal Adams, a “Silver Age” illustrator who worked on Batman for DC and a gazillion other comics.
 

 
I would be remiss in my duties writing on this topic without at least quickly mentioning how underrated National Lampoon is in terms of that magazine’s amazing and ground-breaking art-direction. If you consider that the 20th century will be looked upon as the golden era of the printed page, to my mind, the Lampoon’s Design Director, Michael Gross and Art Director David Kaestle created the most creatively free-wheeling and conversely the most detail-oriented magazine design on the planet. What they brought to America’s premiere countercultural humor magazine was an exacting eye for authenticity. If you were going to parody or satirize popular culture, it needed to actually LOOK LIKE the things you were referring to, or the joke would be lost. That was more or less a new idea at the time. In my opinion, the four years that Gross and Kaestle worked on National Lampoon is THE high point of art direction for a monthly print publication. Everyone always points to the the George Lois-era Esquire as the pinnacle of graphic design in magazines—and it’s great stuff, don’t get me wrong—but the Lampoon was even better, had more nuance and yet Gross and Kaestle’s work rarely gets the credit it deserves.
 

 
You can find out everything you always wanted to know about “Son-O’-God Comics” at Dial B for Blog.

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Inexplicably compelling (and just plain weird) Jesus paintings
10.18.2013
10:29 am

Topics:
Amusing
Art
Belief

Tags:
Jesus


Wall Street Jesus makin’ a deal…
 
You may have already seen a few of these paintings by artist and Jesus-enthusiast, Nathan Greene. I recall seeing some of these paintings a couple of years ago on the Internet and being completely confused by them and yet, not being able to look away!  They’re strangely compelling, right?

Nathan’s paintings don’t come cheap, costing upwards of $1,495. Thankfully, there are prints available at cheaper prices.

There’s a whole gallery here if you’d like to take a gander at even more.


Adam and Eve? Or is it Jon Hamm and Mila Kunis?
 

Jesus jokes with a little girl: “I tawt I taw a putty tat.”
 

Jesus helps a perplexed scientist get his head around Darwin…
 

Would Jesus in the operating room be comforting or just the opposite?
 

Jesus watches over you while you sleep. That’s not cool.

With thanks to Arya Senboutaraj!

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Kenny Loggins died for your sins!
04.03.2013
12:58 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Belief
Music

Tags:
Jesus
Kenny Loggins


 
(The alternate title could have been “Loggins and Messiah,” but I went with the one I thought was the most, you know, commercial).

In case you have trouble reading it, here’s what it says:

Who is this man?
Kenny Loggins.

How does his death help us?
No more bad songs.

Why is it important we remember him?
Highway to the Danger Zone was ok.

Via Christian Nightmares

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Vintage ‘Jesus’ skate park ID cards
03.19.2013
10:39 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
Jesus
skateboards
Skate


 
Yes, even Jesus needed an ID card to skate back in the day.

As a side note: They’re probably ‘shopped—maybe not—but this is still funny, nonetheless.
 

 
Bonus image, below:


Photo source: The World’s Best Ever

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Jesus burrito kept in fur-lined box helps Texas man win lotto
12.20.2012
10:03 am

Topics:
Belief
Kooks

Tags:
Jesus


 
Or something like that.

Rene Cantu a 26-year-old San Antonio man who says he suffered from bad luck claims his life changed for the better when he saw the face of Jesus burned into the tortilla of his breakfast burrito.

I like how he takes his own personal (burrito) Jesus with him when he buys his lotto tickets. I think I would do that too. Via KVUE TV:

“I’ve been having a lot of bad stuff happen to me,” said Cantu. “Ever since this happened it’s been good luck to me. Every time I take it to the store I get a Lotto and I win!”

He said it also reminds him of his blessed life.

“A little Savior watching over me,” said Cantu as he glanced at his tortilla wrapped in a fur blanket.  Cantu keeps it well preserved in a box, and even poured transparent glue over it to seal it.

“It brings me a lot of faith and hope and maybe I can bring people faith and hope, too,” he said.

 

     

 
Via Christian Nightmares, now accepting submissions at Christian Nightmares, Too. Tell of your Christian nightmare, why don’t you?

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Virgin Mary and Jesus press-on nails
12.10.2012
09:41 am

Topics:
Amusing
Belief
Fashion

Tags:
Jesus
Fingernails
Virgin Mary


 
These will go nicely with my fake Virgin Mary Rolex.

Via Everlasting Blort

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Jesus tries to cheer up Paul McCartney with a Lamb Chop sock puppet
05.04.2012
08:57 am

Topics:
Amusing
Art
Belief
Movies

Tags:
Paul McCartney
Jesus
Lamb Chop


 
There’s so much going on in this painting, titled “Jesus Broke Out the Lambchop Puppet and Hired an Angel to Try and Cheer Up a Clinically Depressed Paul McCartney,” by Kata Billups, that I just had to share.

Instead of breaking this puppy down for you, I zoomed in and took a few detailed screen shots so you can figure out what the hell is going on here on your own.

It’s deep.

From the artist:

This scenario from my imagination shows Jesus visiting a clinically depressed Paul McCartney. He is sitting on Paul’s right side and slides a Lamb chop Puppet in to Paul’s peripheral field of vision. Paul hasn’t bothered to get out of his robe. His white socks dangle off the ends of his toes. He is depressed and disheveled. On the wall behind him is the cause of his plight… Yoko…

Who is the happy, house-cleaning angel supposed to represent, I wonder?

The painting is currently on eBay and has a “Buy It Now” for $177,000.000.


 

 

 
Via Christian Nightmares

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Jesus
12.08.2011
08:22 am

Topics:
Amusing
Movies

Tags:
Jesus
The Big Lebowski
Jesus Quintana


 
Nobody fucks with the Jesus!
 
(via Nerdcore)

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
‘Jesus called and Kim answered’
11.15.2011
09:09 am

Topics:
Amusing
Belief

Tags:
Jesus
gravestones


 
Note to self: Screen ALL calls from now on…

(via Joe. My. God. )

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Jesus Christ spotted on dog’s butt
11.14.2011
04:56 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Animals
Belief
Unorthodox

Tags:
Jesus
Pugs
Dog butt


 
Redditor Feature_Creature posted this photo of his cute little pug’s behind and says, “It’s a MIRACLE! Take that…. Jesus toast.”

I think this is the longest I’ve ever stared at a dog’s puckered starfish.

Click here to see larger image. 

(via reddit )

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
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