‘Susan Boyle and Pebbles the Cat Duet’ by Dan Lacey
Coming as it does from Susan Boyle, it gets my vote. Via the NME:
Susan Boyle became the victim of an unfortunate spot of social networking naivety last night (Nov 20) as her record label tried to promote her new album ‘Standing Ovation’ on Twitter. Boyle’s PR team encouraged fans of the singer to Tweet about the album using the hashtag #susanalbumparty which, as you can see, is easily mistaken for “anal bum party”, a topic unlikely to feature in Susan Boyle’s music, but one which soon sent the tag trending.
Ah, you gotta be grateful for those small, everyday acts of total hilarity.
Here’s something for casual Bowie fans and die hards alike. In fact, it doesn’t really matter if you are a fan or not, this is guaranteed to brighten up your autumn Monday blues.
Bowie’s pre-1970s career is rife for re-evaluation I reckon, and I think this is as good a place as any to start.
Love You Till Tuesday is a half-hour show-reel of Bowie and a couple of his compatriots performing his songs in a bare TV studio. It was recorded in 1969 at the behest of his manager Kenneth Pitt, and was due to be shown on German TV with some of the sections re-dubbed from English. Unfortunately it never aired, though it does contain the original promo clip for “Space Oddity” you may have seen, erm, floating around.
But really, none of that is too important. The thing is… it’s really fucking funny.
The film’s opening promo, to accompany the song “Love You Till Tuesday,” is like an exquisite distillation of everything that made the late 60s so kitsch.
Just look at little David flopping onto a pillow in the campest imaginable way, while boasting that he will love you for TWO WHOLE DAYS! Try not to think of Austin Powers. it’s pretty hard. There’s a big lol at 1:44, and the music itself is like something from a shitty 70s English sex-comedy, or perhaps one of those racist, unfunny sitcoms people were so fond of back then.
Sadly, David, this is much more Robin Askwith than Anthony Newley.
You don’t have to watch all of this film for the funzies, just the first 4 minutes. But if you care to watch on, there are some good tunes, including the very Kinksy “Rubber Band,” and a mid-section mime performance about a mask.
This window display might look like it was put together by someone with severe dyslexia, but it is in fact a glorious “fuck you” to the London 2012 Olympics and their ludicrous and draconian “brand police.”
Hundreds of uniformed Olympics officers will begin touring the country today enforcing sponsors’ multimillion-pound marketing deals, in a highly organised mission that contrasts with the scramble to find enough staff to secure Olympic sites.
Almost 300 enforcement officers will be seen across the country checking firms to ensure they are not staging “ambush marketing” or illegally associating themselves with the Games at the expense of official sponsors such as Adidas, McDonald’s, Coca-Cola and BP. The clampdown goes on while 3,500 soldiers on leave are brought in to bail out the security firm G4S which admitted it could not supply the numbers of security staff it had promised.
Olympics organisers have warned businesses that during London 2012 their advertising should not include a list of banned words, including “gold”, “silver” and “bronze”, “summer”, “sponsors” and “London”, if they give the impression of a formal connection to the Olympics.
A lot of grumbling has been going on about the “brand police” and I hope we’ll see more of this as the games roll on.
Tonight’s the night. Not only are the Stone Roses back, but they are back in their home town, their old stomping ground of Manchester, for shows at the enormous Heaton Park.
Am I going? Nah. I saw them last time round, mate, on their first round of comeback gigs for the Second Coming album, released five years after their debut. It was, in fact, the Roses’ first show in the British Isles since 1990, and it was… ok. As enthusiastic kids we were buoyed along by the thrill of seeing our idols, live and in person, and before anyone else. This was at the Irish festival Féile ‘95 in Cork city, which was a really great festival (despite someone dying), but looking back on the footage of the Roses now, well, that’s another story.
To my mind the Stone Roses are second only in influence on British indie after The Smiths. Well, third place, I guess, now that Joy Division have been elevated to being the pinnacle of everything guitar music could and should be. And what’s the connecting factor between all these bands? They’re all from Manchester. Yeah, the city I live in has defined indie-rock music for the last 30 years. I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing.
Yes, there is a buzz here about the Heaton Park gigs, of course there is. But as with everything Manc, there’s also a sly element of piss-takery. Maybe it’s because some people don’t like the band, or maybe it’s fatigue at having to relive the “Spike Island” mythology all over again (Spike Island was a huge Roses stadium show that happened in 1990, and has gone on to become the stuff of urban legend, despite many people who were there decrying its status as the most important cultural event of a generation.) Or maybe it’s just a Manc thing. That’s what I’m going with.
So, speaking of piss-takery, here’s a very funny spoof clip of The Stone Roses talking about their reformation. You might need to be in on the joke for this to work fully, but there’s a lot of universal humour in here too. I mean, who doesn’t find the Manchester accent even just a little bit funny? This clip was written and created by Nico Tartarowicz, and also features the comedian Peter Serafinowicz impersonating Morrissey (and we’re big fans of Serafinowicz at DM.) So there’s that, too. Oh, and kudos for also laying into the ultimate talking-head-TV classic-rock-bore, Primal Scream’s Bobby Gillespie:
“Mr Cheeks”, perhaps the most unintentionally gay name in rap
Unintentional Gay Rap Lyrics is a blog that compiles, well, unintentionally gay-sounding lyrics from rap songs. Most of these rhymes were not designed to be, ahem, taken that way but it’s still pretty hilarious thinking of these über-butch (and in some cases homophobic) dudes in that kind of situation. Here are some choice examples:
GURU: “To all you herbs, i got something for that ass - the tongue of terrifying fury”
(From Gangstarr’s “Tongue of Terror”)
BEANIE SIEGEL: “I’ll blow a nigga for a box of Huggies.”
(From “Toney Siegel aka The Barrell Brothers”)
BEENIE MAN: “How can i make love to a fella in a rush”
(From “Who Am I”)
BIGGIE: “We fucked in his bed, quite dangerous, I’m in his ass while he playing against the Utah Jazz”
(From “I Got A Story To Tell”)
DMX: “Suck my dick. And while you niggas that’s been to jail before know it’s about to get thick. Let’s get it on baby. I’m gonna be goin’ against 4 niggas and you think you crazy?”
(From “What’s My Name”)
SNOOP DOGG: “I got a pocket full of rubbers and my homeboys do too.. so turn out the lights and close the door (but for what?) we don’t love them hoes!”
(From “Gin and Juice”)
So let’s be clear here: You’ve got condoms, so do your boys, you just turned off the lights and closed the door. And you hate women. That’s so gay.
BIG PUN: “When you awaken, your manhood will be taken.”
(From “The Dream Shatterer”)
Thaaaat sounds like rape, and I bet you’d wake up if a 400 pound Puerto Rican man started deflowering you in your sleep.
Bad Rave Flyers is “a blog dedicated to showcasing the worst and most lazy in graphic design for club and rave flyers.” Says the anonymous author:
I spend a lot of time looking at event listings on messageboards. I’ve always been fascinated by how bad most rave & club flyers are, especially ones for events with mostly local DJs. As a testament to this, I’ve decided to compile my favorites into one place.
Indeed, some of these flyers are terrible. But before we go laughing ourselves into a false sense of superiority, it has to be stated that EVERYONE who has been involved in djing or club promoting has at some point created their own bad rave flyer. I still have mine lurking at the back of a closet somewhere. It may not be as bad as these, but consider it a rite of passage every club industry professional must go through.
I don’t know if Pizza Boomerang is a real product or if this is even a real advert. All I know is that it’s all kinds of funny and wrong to boot. Not to mention having a catchy-as-hell theme tune! C’mon now everybody: “Pi-pi-pi-pi-pizza/Boo-boo-boo-boo-boomerang!”