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Who said it:  Wall Street Banker, Corporate CEO or Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich?


 
Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich has a lot in common with wealthy Wall Street bankers and corporate CEO’s. While most hedge fund managers and CEO’s have not gotten blow jobs during bass solos at concerts, Lars, bankers and CEOs agree that litigiousness is awesome, acquiring ugly expensive art collections is important and the piracy of your product is the sole locus of evil on earth. So, which quotes are from Lars?

1.  “People who don’t have money don’t understand the stress.”

2.  “I want to make sure I have good people on my board who aren’t going to f—k with me.”

3.  “We have no obligation to make history. We have no obligation to make art. We have no obligation to make a statement. To make money is our only objective.”

4.  “[We have] a tendency to jump and then start asking questions on the way down, then realize that as we get closer to the ground that there’s no safety net and realize we should have asked more questions on the way down.”

5.  “Stolen’s a strong word. It’s copyrighted content that the owner wasn’t paid for.”

6.  “It is therefore sickening to know that our art is being traded like a commodity rather than the art that it is. From a business standpoint, this is about piracy - aka taking something that doesn’t belong to you; and that is morally and legally wrong.”

7. “Copy protection is a balancing act because it always reduces the value of your product.  State-of-the-art copy protection makes your customers hate you.”

8. “As long as they’re going to steal it, we want them to steal ours. They’ll get sort of addicted, and then we’ll somehow figure out how to collect sometime in the next decade.”

9. “So while we think it’s an interesting market, because it’s large, we just haven’t figured out a way to make a substantial profit in that market.”

10. “I think if anything we were just caught off guard by how passionate people were about this whole internet phenomenon at the time and it kind of blind-sided us, but we stood our ground and stuck with our principles and a lot of people now are patting us on the back and saying how right we were.”

Answers:

1.  Not Lars.  Alan Dlugash, partner at accounting firm Karks Paneth & Shron, LLP.
2.  Not Lars.  Quirky CEO Ben Kaufman.
3.  Not Lars.  Former Disney CEO Michael Eisner.
4.  Lars.
5.  Not Lars. Former Microsoft CEO Bill Gates.
6.  Lars.
7.  Not Lars. Bruce Schneier, Chief Technical Officer of Counterpane Internet Security, Inc.
8.  Not Lars.  Bill Gates.
9.  Not Lars.  Oracle co-founder and CEO Larry Ellison.
10 Lars.

Posted by Kimberly J. Bright | Leave a comment
Lou Reed/Metallica video directed by Darren Aronofsky
12.03.2011
01:36 pm

Topics:
Music

Tags:
Lou Reed
Metallica
Darren Aronofsky
The View

louuuuu
 
Director Darren Aronofsky, whose films Requiem For A Dream and Black Swan oozed visual style, can’t do much to polish the turd that is Loutallica. Grainy black and white, super slo-mo and lens distortion create a nightmarish quality that is undercut by the song’s ludicrous heavy handedness, ending up more silly than spooky.
 

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
Lou Reed and Metallica’s ‘Lulu’: Truth in advertising
11.29.2011
08:02 am

Topics:
Amusing
Music

Tags:
Lou Reed
Lulu
Metallica
Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Lou Reed and Metallica live in Germany on 11/11/11


 
In the mess that is Lulu one song that is generally singled out as having some of the vibe and feel evoking vintage Lou Reed is “Junior Dad.” Last night, during their concert in Cologne, Germany, Reed and Metallica performed the song and, lo and behold, it’s the first live video I’ve seen of the band that actually moves me in a good way.

Reed seems a shitload more engaged with what he’s doing in this video than during his addled performance on Jool Holland’s show from a few nights ago. World weariness has displaced death warmed over.

Is it possible that as Loutallica tours behind Lulu they may actually discover the heretofore untapped magic in their collaboration? Perhaps, if they replace their current drummer with Mo Tucker.

You can visit the Lou Reed/Metallica Youtube channel for more of the Cologne concert.
 

 
Loutallica take another shot at ‘White Light/White Heat’ after the jump…

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Lou Reed and Metallica mutilate ‘White Light/White Heat’ on British TV November 8


 
Lou Reed and Metallica in hit and run accident leave White Light/White Heat dead on the side of the highway - rock and roll road kill.

Everything about this is just plain wrong, from Metallica’s dunderhead playing to Reed’s total inability to find the pocket of the song…which is understandable because there is none. What is not understandable is why Reed continues to trash the Velvet Underground’s legacy. Can the surviving members of VU get a cease and desist order?

This is like watching a beloved friend racing toward the edge of a cliff in an out-of-control 1978 Ford Pinto - a sense of helpless dread overcomes you as you avert your eyes and pray for Divine intervention.

Just when you think it couldn’t get worse, Loutallica shows you just how bottomless the pit is. And that Lars fuck should have his hands bound with chicken wire and never allowed anywhere near a drum kit.

“If all this makes you feel sorry for him, then you can compliment yourself on being a real Lou Reed fan. Because that’s exactly what he wants.” Lester Bangs, 1973.

Later With Jools Holland, November 8, 2011.
 

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
NONONONO Cat reviews Lou Reed and Metallica’s ‘Lulu’
11.02.2011
01:44 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Music

Tags:
Lou Reed
Lulu
Metallica
NONONONO Cat


 
Yeah, tell me about it, NONONONO Cat.
 

 
(via Nerdcore)

 

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Loutallica: Hot trash video mix - NSFW
10.24.2011
01:47 am

Topics:
Music

Tags:
Lou Reed
Lulu
Metallica
Frustration


 
Unofficial video for “Frustration” from the Lou Reed/ Metallica album Lulu.

The pain shoots through my body
A sword between my thighs
I wish that I could kill you
But I too love your eyes

You’re feeling less whore but you stimulate
The hatred smolders in your eyes
I’d drop to my knees in a second
To salivate in your thighs

But all I do is fall over
I don’t have the strength I once had
In you and your prickless lover
And his easel in his eyes

I feel the pain creep up my leg
Blood runs from my nose
I puke my guts out at your feet
You’re more man than I
To be dead to have no feeling
To be dry and spermless like a girl

This is NSFW. You’ve been warned.
 

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
30 second shards of Hell: Excerpts from the new Lou Reed/Metallica album
10.19.2011
12:03 pm

Topics:
Music
Punk

Tags:
Lou Reed
Lulu
Metallica


 
Here are some 30 second excerpts from all of the tracks on the new Lou Reed/Metallica album Lulu.

What do you think?

Though it’s hard to judge an entire album based on 30 second clips, some of the bits sound to me like the highly amplified rumbling sludge of a lower intestinal tract infection fronted by the guy who works the complaint desk in Hell. Muddle machine music.

Track two, “The View,” is presented in its entirety.
 

Lulu (30-second Samples) by Lou Reed & Metallica

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
Lou Reed and Metallica: heavy metal blunder
09.26.2011
07:45 pm

Topics:
Music
Punk

Tags:
Lou Reed
Metallica


 
I was prepared for the worst but nothing quite as bad as the song “The View,” from the upcoming Lou Reed/Metallica collaboration. If this track is indicative of what’s on the rest of the album, it will end up embarrassing everyone involved. This will satisfy no one…not Lou’s fans, not Metallica’s.

As music, it’s intolerably bad, sounding like some hellish noise cooked up in the basement by a 10th rate metal band and their loony uncle and the lyrics read like something scrawled on the back of a goth kid’s composition book. A sample:

I WANT TO SEE YOUR SUICIDE
I WANT TO SEE YOU GIVE IT UP
YOUR LIFE OF REASON
I WANT YOU ON THE FLOOR
AND IN A COFFIN YOUR SOUL SHAKING
I WANT TO HAVE YOU DOUBTING
EVERY MEANING YOU’VE AMASSED
LIKE A FORTUNE

OH THROW IT AWAY

FOR WORSHIP SOMEONE
WHO ACTIVELY DESPISES YOU

As a long suffering Lou Reed fan, I was hoping that my gut feelings that this project was going to be disastrous would be proven wrong. If the rest of the album is as shitty as this track, it could go down in history as one of the most misbegotten musical couplings of all time.
 

The View by Lou Reed & Metallica

 

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
Stevie Wonder meets Metallica: Sad But Superstitious
09.09.2011
02:05 am

Topics:
Music

Tags:
Stevie Wonder
Metallica


 
Another killer mash-up from Wax Audio.

Stevie Wonder’s “Superstition” melds beautifully with Metallica’s “Sad But True.”

This originally appeared on Wax Audio’s Mashopolos 2 released in 2008 in audio form only. The new video is smashingly good!
 

 
Via Wax Audio

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
Lou Reed/Metallica album to be released on Halloween
08.20.2011
01:25 pm

Topics:
Music
Punk

Tags:
Lou Reed
Metallica


 
I’m as big a Lou Reed fan as there is, but based on the video below (from the 2009 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame show), I’m not sure a Reed/Metallica collaboration is such a hot idea. I’m keeping fingers crossed that what appears to be a marriage made in hell may end up surprising me.

David Fricke of Rolling Stone magazine has heard the album and wrote:

The record, not yet titled, features 10 songs composed by Reed with significant arrangement contributions by the band that suggest a raging union of his 1973 noir classic, Berlin, and Metallica’s ‘86 crusher, Master of Puppets.

Fricke’s description confuses me. I’m even less clear as to what the album sounds like then I was before reading it.

And Metallica’s James Hetfield doesn’t help:

Lars and I listened to the stuff,” Hetfield says of Reed’s demos, “and it was like, ‘Wow, this is very different.’ It was scary at first, because the music was so open. But then I thought, ‘This could go anywhere.’ “

Knowing the songs were composed by Reed based on Frank Wedekind’s play Lulu, which was written in 1895, puts this into the category of Reed’s work I generally don’t like: the pretentious and forgettable concept album.

Lou Reed thinks the album is…

... maybe the best thing done by anyone, ever. It could create another planetary system. I’m not joking, and I’m not being egotistical.

We will soon find out on Halloween, the day the album is released.
 

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
All 9 tracks from Metallica’s ‘And Justice For All’ played at once.
12.09.2010
02:21 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Music

Tags:
Metallica
And Justice For All

image
 
All 9 tracks from Metallica’s ‘And Justice For All’ played at once. First Billy Joel, now this. All hail the new meme.

Heavy metal thunder.
 

 
Via HYST
 
Previously on DM: Billy Joel track collision.

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment