Yet another interesting situation that a conservative homophobe has gotten himself into at a gay bar! Well, well, well…

I heart these kinds of stories, don’t you?

Michael Berry, the Houston-area syndicated conservative radio talker (and former City Councilman) who markets himself as“The Czar of Texas Radio” is the same asshole who was forced to apologize for saying that he hoped the “Ground Zero Mosque” would be bombed back in 2010. The station Berry works for, KPRC-AM, is part of the Clear Channel network.

It looks like the “outspoken”—some might say bigoted—Republican bloviator was having a drink in a gay club called T.C.’s Show Bar last month. When he left, he hit a parked car before speeding off without stopping. Problem was, it was the bouncer’s car, he was standing outside, saw the whole thing happen, got Berry’s plate number and there are videotapes of Berry in the bar.

Lucy’s got some s’plaining to do, obviously. Via Raw Story:

The video shows a man who looks like Berry entering the bar while men in drag performed nearby. He ordered a beer and went to the bathroom on at least two occasions.

After leaving the bar at around 11 p.m. on Jan. 31, Berry allegedly backed his black Chevrolet Tahoe up 70 feet before smashing into Bennett’s Volkswagen Passat.

Bennett told police that he clearly saw Berry behind the wheel, but they refused to file charges.

“I’d say that’s the government at work,” he said. “I mean that’s corruption at its best. You know, a hit and run is a criminal, whether or not you’re an average individual or somebody who has his political pull that he does,” Bennett added in an interview with KHOU.

But here’s where it gets oh so good: IT’S ALL A LIBERAL CONSPIRACY as Berry intimated on his radio show… (Via The Houston Chronicle)

“I’ve always said when you do what I do, the way I do it, you make enemies. When you poke your finger in as many people’s eye as I do every day, you make enemies,” said Berry.

He said that his detractors “will accuse you of most anything” and he added, “You have to trust that in the end, the system works itself out, that there are checks and balances, there are people who will verify. But you also recognize that there are some people who want you to be crushed. There’s some people who hate you.  There are some people who privately would benefit from you not being on the air.”

He said he does not respond to reporters who question him “on their turf” because it is subject to editing.  However, at no point in his broadcast did he deny being behind the wheel and at no point did he address his presence in the club.

“You simply cannot go out there and chase down every nasty thing that is said about you.  Just because someone says something nasty about you doesn’t make it true,” he said.

The flip side of that?

“Videos don’t lie,” T.C.’s Show Bar bouncer Tuderia Bennett, the victim of the hit and run, told KPRC. “They don’t paint pictures that don’t exist.”

I’m inclined to believe that this escapade will be quite difficult to wriggle out of for Mr. Berry. Not just legally, but with his wife…

“If you’re going to stand up and say anti-gay things and be conservative and be Mr. Good Guy, and then when something happens that points you out and puts you in a place with the exact business that you aim to shut down, it kind of makes it seem like I need this to go away and I need it to go away quickly,” he said.

That’s not possible anymore in this day and age as Michael Berry is finding out. Will these fellows never learn?

Berry’s already been “immortalized” in a novelty rap song by rival radio jocks at station KILT:
 

 
Nic Cage is a meme stream and here’s the proof - 100 memorably surreal Cageisms.

“100 Greatest Nicolas Cage Quotes.”  Featuring scenes from (in order of first appearance): Gone In 60 Seconds, Wild At Heart, The Rock, Deadfall, Con Air, The Wicker Man, Leaving Las Vegas, Drive Angry, Face/Off, Wings Of The Apache (aka Fire Birds), Kick Ass, Honeymoon In Vegas, National Treasure: Book Of Secrets, Snake Eyes, Trapped In Paradise, The Family Man, Matchstick Men, Moonstruck, World Trade Center, Vampire’s Kiss, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, 8MM, Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans, Kiss Of Death, G-Force, Season Of The Witch, Lord Of War, National Treasure, Red Rock West.”
 

“Mr Cheeks”, perhaps the most unintentionally gay name in rap

Unintentional Gay Rap Lyrics is a blog that compiles, well, unintentionally gay-sounding lyrics from rap songs. Most of these rhymes were not designed to be, ahem, taken that way but it’s still pretty hilarious thinking of these über-butch (and in some cases homophobic) dudes in that kind of situation. Here are some choice examples:

GURU: “To all you herbs, i got something for that ass - the tongue of terrifying fury” 

(From Gangstarr’s “Tongue of Terror”)

BEANIE SIEGEL: “I’ll blow a nigga for a box of Huggies.”

(From “Toney Siegel aka The Barrell Brothers”)

BEENIE MAN: “How can i make love to a fella in a rush”

(From “Who Am I”)

BIGGIE: “We fucked in his bed, quite dangerous, I’m in his ass while he playing against the Utah Jazz”

(From “I Got A Story To Tell”)

DMX: “Suck my dick. And while you niggas that’s been to jail before know it’s about to get thick. Let’s get it on baby. I’m gonna be goin’ against 4 niggas and you think you crazy?”

(From “What’s My Name”)

SNOOP DOGG: “I got a pocket full of rubbers and my homeboys do too.. so turn out the lights and close the door (but for what?) we don’t love them hoes!”

(From “Gin and Juice”)

So let’s be clear here: You’ve got condoms, so do your boys, you just turned off the lights and closed the door. And you hate women. That’s so gay.

BIG PUN: “When you awaken, your manhood will be taken.”

(From “The Dream Shatterer”)

Thaaaat sounds like rape, and I bet you’d wake up if a 400 pound Puerto Rican man started deflowering you in your sleep.

There’s much more over at Unintentional Gay Rap Lyrics.
 
Thanks to Dalai Dahmer!
 

 
These days when a rock star sells out to a car manufacturer or Pepsi Cola my respect for them is diminished, particularly whenever they’re an artist I revere. But these ads from the Sixties make sense, if you’re going to sellout, at least sellout to the things that got you where you are. John Lennon shilling for Rickenbacker is hip. The Clash for Pontiac, not so much.
 

 

 
More ads after the jump…

Photo by @ImChrisHughes via Twitter

Of all of the places in America for that slimy amphibian’s tour bus to get a flat!

It’s really a pity this didn’t happen in front of Rage!!!

Via KPCC radio’s website:

The presidential hopeful who recently called gay marriage a “perfect example of what I mean by the rise of paganism,” set off a Boystown brouhaha last night when his Newt 2012 campaign bus broke down in West Hollywood. 

Newt Gingrich’s bus, missing a tire and flashing its hazards, was stranded half in a lane of traffic near Sunset and Crescent Heights for hours. It was unknown if he was on the bus at the time of the incident. Calls to Newt’s headquarters were not immediately returned.

Gingrich, who is in Los Angeles campaigning, did not receive much sympathy for his vehicle’s mechanical difficulties. Instead, locals took to Twitter with red-white-and-blue language, unsolicited advice, claims of voodoo, musings on karma, and at least one mention of a glitter-bomb:

 
He blew his mind out in car, he didn’t notice that the lights had changed. These are the lyrics from The Beatles’ “A Day in the Life”, which immortalized the death of sixties socialite Tara Browne.

On the night of December 18th 1966, Browne, together with his girlfriend, Suki Potier, drove through the streets of South Kensington in his Lotus Elan. The couple had just left a friend’s apartment at Earls Court around 1am, and were now in search of food. Browne sped through a stop signal at the corner of Redcliffe Square and Redcliffe Gardens. As he swerved to avoid an oncoming vehicle, Browne crashed his car into a parked van. His last minute actions saved Potier from certain death, but left Browne fatally injured, and he died in hospital the following day. 

Browne was 21-years-of-age, a member of the Irish aristocratic family Oranmore and Browne, and heir to the Gunness fortune. He looked like a cross between Paul McCartney and Peter Cook (more of which later), was said to be barely literate - having walked out of a dozen schools, lived with his mother, Oonagh Guinness and her boyfriend a “show designer” Miguel Ferreras, drank Bloody Marys for breakfast, smoked Menthol cigarettes, and according to his friend Hugo Williams lived the life of a “Little Lord Fauntleroy, Beau Brummell, Peter Pan, Terence Stamp in Billy Budd, David Hemmings in Blow-Up.”

‘Tara could hardly have failed to be a success in Swinging London. While I was wandering around the globe in ’63 and ‘64, he embarked on the second and last phase of his meteoric progress. He got married, met the Stones and the Beatles, opened a shop in the King’s Road and bought the fatal turquoise Lotus Elan in which he entered the Irish Grand Prix. He let me drive it once in some busy London street: ‘Come on, Hugo, put your foot down.’ I had just got my first job and our ways were dividing. His money and youth made him a natural prey to certain charismatic Chelsea types who turned him into what he amiably termed a ‘hustlee’.

He reputedly gave Paul McCartney his first acid trip. The pair went to Liverpool together, got stoned and cruised the city on mopeds until Paul went over the handlebars and broke a tooth and they had to call on Paul’s Aunt Bett for assistance. There is still a body of people — and a book called The Walrus is Paul — who believe that Paul is dead and is now actually Tara Browne with plastic surgery.’

A month after his death, January 17th 1967, John Lennon was working on a song when he read a newspaper article on the coroner’s report into Browe’s death:

‘I was writing “A Day In The Life” with the Daily Mail propped in front of me on the piano. I had it open at their News in Brief, or Far and Near, whatever they call it. I noticed two stories. One was about the Guinness heir who killed himself in a car. That was the main headline story. He died in London in a car crash.’

Lennon further explained his inspiration in Hunter Davies’ biography of The Beatles:

‘I didn’t copy the accident. Tara didn’t blow his mind out. But it was in my mind when I was writing that verse.’

However, more recently, in the authorized biography, Many Years From Now by Barry Miles, Paul McCartney added his tuppence worth:

‘The verse about the politician blowing his mind out in a car we wrote together. It has been attributed to Tara Browne, the Guinness heir, which I don’t believe is the case, certainly as we were writing it, I was not attributing it to Tara in my head. In John’s head it might have been. In my head I was imagining a politician bombed out on drugs who’d stopped at some traffic lights and didn’t notice that the lights had changed. The ‘blew his mind’ was purely a drugs reference, nothing to do with a car crash.’

Whichever version is true, Tara Browne is still the man best associated with lyrics. Here is Tara, and his Lotus Elan, in some incredibly rare footage from a short French TV feature, where the aristocrat drives around London and mumbles in French about his car, art, fashion, music and life. There are no English subtitles, but they’re not really necessary as the film is easily understandable. Appearances from Paul McCartney, Marianne Faithfull and famed gallery owner Robert Fraser.
 

 
With thanks to Simon Wells
 

 
Empire Magazine held a photoshop contest and asked its readers to mash-up David Bowie with recognizable movie posters. The majority of the submissions were bad photoshop jobs, but some were really funny and quite clever. Here are a few that made me smile.
 

 
More after the jump…

 
Paul Butterfield makes an appearance on To Tell The Truth. Broadcast on Mar 28, 1966.

Butterfield does his best to create something bluesy while the back-up band scrambles to find a groove.

I always dug Kitty Carlisle, Peggy Cass, Tom Poston and Orson Bean. They seem kind of hip for the times.
 

 
Another stellar Talking Heads concert for you lucky people, a 50-minute performance from the Westfalenhalle, in Dortmund, Germany, on December 20th, 1980 for the Rockpop TV show.

Set List:
Psycho Killer
Cities
I Zimbra
Once In A Lifetime
Animals
Crosseyed And Painless
Life During Wartime
The Great Curve

Can you tell what I’ve been listening to around the house, lately? Is it that obvious?

The final, 8-minute-long romp on “The Great Curve” will fry your synapses.

(For those of you unaware of its existence, there is an amazing 5:1 remix of Remain in Light from 2006 that is a treat for the ears. If ever there was an album meant to be heard in multi-channel audio, it is this polyrhythmic masterpiece. Cheap, too.)
 

The Looters. Paul Cook, Steve Jones, Ray Winstone, and Paul Simonon. Photo: Caroline Coon.
 
Here’s the first in a series of video compilations of fake bands. These are fictional music groups or solo acts that were created for film or TV. Some are quite excellent.

1. The Mosquitoes - “Gilligan’s Island”
2. Android - “Buck Rogers In The 25th Century”
3. The Looters -“Ladies And Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains”
4. The Flowerbuds - “Carry On Camping”
5. Drimble Wedge And The Vegetations - “Bedazzled”
6. Steven Shorter - “Privilege”
7. The Bugaloos - “The Electric Company
8. Tom Monroe - “SCTV
9. The Queen Haters” - SCTV

Compilation two coming soon.
 

 
Redditor livejamie posted the above pic of his friend’s dog and noted how creepy its shadow looked. What followed was other Redditors posting photos of their dogs’ shadows and noticing the same freaky phenomenon.

There really needs to be a coffee table book dedicated to scary-ass dog shadows.
 

Photo by Redditor morriscode.

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Photos of Dogs Underwater

 
It would be the defining moment of recent American history if the dingbat who recently spoke this jabberwocky…

[Obama is] underestimating the wisdom of women. Because women understand there is access to preventative care and contraception out there, and we don’t need government to tell our employers that they must provide that for us.

Truly, it is a war on our religious liberties and that violation of conscience that he would mandate that is un-American because it violates our First Amendment in our Constitution.”

... were to accept the Presidential nomination at a deadlocked Republican convention this summer.

On Fox Business Network’s Follow the Money program the other day, host Eric Bolling tossed Sarah Palin a softball when the two discussed a brokered convention. She took the bait like a fish chomping on a hooked worm. Quite like that, in fact…

Via Politico:

“If one of the nominees, one of the GOPers, doesn’t get enough delegates, it could go to a brokered convention,” said Fox Business Network’s Eric Bolling in an interview. “If it does get to that, and someone said, ‘Governor, would you be interested,’ would you be interested?”

“For one, I think that it could get to that. … If it had to be closed up today, the whole nominating process, then we could be looking at a brokered convention. … Nobody is quite there yet, so I think that months from now, if that is the case, all bets are off as to who it will be, willing to offer up themselves up in their name in service to their country.”

“I would do whatever I could to help,” she added, her voice rising.

“That’s, that’s fantastic,” replied Bolling.

Oh yes it would be! Run, Sarah, run!

The money shot happens in the last two minutes. Priceless her messianic megalomania, isn’t it?
 

 
Via Wonkette

 
Here’s an educational film released in 1976 by Counselor Films to teach wild and unruly yoots why graffiti is stoopid. The first minute or so of Graffiti: Fun or Dumb? is truly laugh-out-loud funny.

Using kids’ own arguments (both pros and cons), film presents overwhelming evidence that vandalism is dumb. Shows that graffiti-type vandalism costs over $20,000,000 a year.

 
The short film is available for purchase at A/V Geeks.
 

 
Via Laughing Squid

 
For much of this decade, UK grime and hip-hop MCs have been focusing on skills much more than swag, and have fostered a sound that evokes what many consider the “golden era” of hip-hop circa mid-‘80s-to-mid-‘90s. It’s a stripped-down, loquacious and attitudinal sound, short on gimmicks and high on the culture. And in some crucial ways, it’s putting the American hip-hop scene to shame.

The last truly great MC squad to come out of hip-hop was the Wu Tang Clan. But there’s little reason to doubt that the UK Female Allstars—a rhyme crew assembled by British producer Mikey J (best known for his work with East London superstar MC Kano)—could rise to, or possibly even surpass, the Wu’s legendary status. (I’ll prolly get shit for saying that, but what the hell…)

The UK Female All Stars are made up of Mz Bratt, Lady Leshurr, Lioness, RoxXxan, Baby Blue and A.Dot. If you love hip-hop, just check out this video for the Allstars’ debut single “Rock the Mic,” both of which dropped yesterday (they’re giving the tune away here. And try to tell me these women don’t have game.
 

 
Referring to the utterly demented incident last weekend when Andrew Breitbart apparently lost his mind screaming “Stop raping people” to a group of Occupy movement protesters who were razzing him at CPAC, last night on Current TV’s The Young Turks, host Cenk Uygur posed the following hypothetical question to an increasingly slobby-looking Breitbart:

“So what you’re doing is you’re smearing the entire movement with what some people — who oftentimes, in almost all these instances came into abuse the people that were in that movement — can I then paint with the same broad stroke that you are part of a group, Republicans and conservatives, who like to have gay sex in bathrooms and then gay sex with prostitutes and then smoke crack off their ass? And then I come up to you and your group of friends and started saying ‘Hey! Stop having gay sex in bathrooms! Stop having gay sex in bathrooms! Behave yourselves!’ Would that be fair?”

Brietbart claims his behavior was a “stunt” to get the mainstream media to report more accurately on the Occupy movement, but comes off more like a disheveled loser trying—unsuccessfully to say the least—to make the best of having to go on TV to discuss a viral video of himself looking like a flaming fucking asshole making the rounds. Looking worse than Balloon Boy’s father is a position most people with a shred of dignity would not put themselves in, but what do I know of Breitbart’s “stunts.” MAYBE HE’S GOT THE MAINSTREAM LIBERAL MEDIA RIGHT WHERE HE WANTS THEM!!!!!

Or something!

Andrew Breitbart is clearly not a well man. You can see it in his crazy fucking rage-filled eyes. He looks like he’s barely holding it together these days. If it’s revealed that he’s taken to shitting in diapers, that wouldn’t surprise me one bit…

Still, I invite you to have a laugh at the expense of a man destined for an aneurysm or a rubber room as Uygur expertly lowers the boom on this foaming at the mouth nutcase: