FOLLOW US ON:
GET THE NEWSLETTER
CONTACT US
If Posh Spice designed a car, what would it be like, I wonder?

image
 
As if Victoria Beckham wasn’t already a living, breathing rail-thin symbol of how money can never really purchase class, the former “Posh Spice” turned “designer” has announced her new limited-edition Range Rover “Evoque.” The SUV—which was unveiled in Beijing at an auto show on Sunday night—will retail for $129,000, about twice the sticker price of a standard model Range Rover and will be chock-full of Beckham’s tacky trimmings (like mohair carpet floor-mats and rose-gold accents based on her favorite Rolex watch). Only 200 of the limited edition luxury vehicle will be produced and it’s aimed at the super rich of Communist China…

This article made me want to puke:

“I’ve stayed very true to myself. I’ve designed a car that I want to drive, a car that I think David wants to drive,” the former Spice Girl told Reuters in an interview in Beijing, where she was promoting the vehicle, late on Sunday.

“I think that though women will drive this car, it has a masculine edge. I think it’s very cool,” she added.

Beckham, who admitted she had never done a project like this before, said she had learned “an enormous amount.”

“And the bottom line is, would I drive this car, like when I’m designing a dress, would I wear this dress? I love what I do. I consider myself so blessed to do a job that I love and this has been a great experience for me,” said Beckham, wearing a sleeveless striped dress from her own collection.

She said she searched for inspiration in many places.

“I did a lot of research and not just with cars, old and new, but boats, planes, movie stars, different locations,” she said.

“It would be hard to pinpoint exactly where the inspiration came from. It’s just what I like, that’s the bottom line. I don’t try to be too technical about it ... It’s what feels real to me.”

This feels, uh, like well, a joke to me…

The special edition “Evoque” features exclusive, hand-finished matt paint, the first for a Land Rover-type vehicle.

The vehicle also has rose gold accents on the grille and gloss black forged alloy wheels. Inside, the four-seat coupe includes vintage-inspired leather seats, rose gold-plated accents and features trimmings of black lacquer, textured aluminum and mohair.

In addition, the vehicle has bespoke luxury accessories, such as a four-piece leather luggage set and a hand-sewn leather wallet for the owner’s manual signed by (Victoria) Beckham.

Fuck me. The only thing more sickening than contemplating Victoria Beckham’s cringe-worthy tastes is the 200 ludicrous fuckwits who would buy something like this when it rolls off the production line in October. What kind of asshole would want a car designed by Victoria fucking Beckham? For when a “normal” Range Rover isn’t good enough? The Beckham-designed Evoque will really show the world WHO YOU ARE!

This is a car that cries out to be keyed viciously. If I was a bird, I’d make sure to crap on one.

Coming soon, no doubt, the Kim Kardashian designed all-angora interior Porsche “Luscious” with a 7.1 lemon meringue sound system, snakeskin-lined glove compartment and floor-mats made from the skin of homeless people. It runs on Midori, no doubt.
 

Posted by Richard Metzger
|
04.25.2012
11:15 am
|