Samantha Fox and Lemmy Kilmister.
 
Samantha Fox was technically still a very popular topless Page 3 girl in The Sun and not yet an 80s pop star when she was asked for her opinions on two new singles by The Smiths and The Fall for UK music magazine Smash Hits in July of 1986. Apparently she was not terribly impressed by either single and took them to task using insightful words like “crappy” to tear apart The Fall’s “Living Too Late.” When it came to Miss Fox’s thoughts on The Smiths the target of her disdain would of course be directed at moody vocalist Morrissey. Here’s Fox dissecting Moz as only a misguided 20-something could in 1986:

I’m sorry to say but I find them very depressing. The lead singer’s voice sounds like he’s in pain—is that Morrissey? He can’t sing and it gives me a headache. In all his interviews he’s “Mister Nasty” too and goes moan, moan, moan.

Well, at least Samantha got one thing right here because of COURSE Morrissey is in pain. Anyone who writes songs about how getting mowed over a ten-ton truck being a “heavenly way to die” or wishes you an “Unhappy Birthday” then proceeds to note that he’s going to “kill his dog” is clearly in pain. But I digress. If you’d like to read Samantha Fox’s thoughts in full on The Smiths, The Fall as well as Prince, Julian Lennon and Bryan Adams, I’ve posted a few of her amusing reviews for you below. You can also read all of Fox’s deep thoughts during her brief stint with Smash Hits as a record reviewer over at the fantasitc online archive for the magazine, Like Punk Never Happened run by the excellent Brian McCloskey.
 

Samantha Fox on The Smiths and The Fall from Smash Hits magazine, July, 1986.
 

 
Keep reading after the jump…

 
Former Page 3 girl Samantha Fox racked up an impressive string of hit singles when she retired as a topless glamour model and went into dance music. If you are old enough to have watched MTV in the 80s, you are likely to recall her biggest hit, “Touch Me (I Want Your Body),” which was #1 in seventeen countries.

But what about her lesser known “Love House”? Written and produced by Ferdi and Rob Bolland, the South African brothers behind Falco’s “Rock Me Amadeus” smash, “Love House” was one of the very first “Acid House” songs to break into the mainstream charts, but is less recalled—and less respected—today than contemporary late 80s genre hits like “Theme from S’Express” and A Guy Called Gerald’s “Voodoo Ray.” There must be thousands of 12” records of this accidentally brilliant song in the cut-out bins just waiting to be rediscovered by younger DJs.

“Love House” (and the remixes it spawned, including the “Black Pyramid Mix” produced by dance music legend Kevin Saunderson) samples from Bohannon’s “Let’s Start the Dance,” Kurtis Blow’s “The Breaks,” “Just That Type of Girl” by Madame X and Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock’s “It Takes Two.”
 

 
Previously on Dangerous Minds:
Pop singer Samantha Fox reviews The Fall, 1986

 
I don’t think she liked them.

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