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12-hour ambient music pieces from ‘Blade Runner,’ ‘Alien,’ ‘Doctor Who’ and ‘Star Wars’
08.13.2014
02:28 pm

Topics:
Movies
Music

Tags:
Star Wars
Blade Runner
Alien
ambient
Dr. Who


 
Before the advent of recording media, a piece of music could be quite long without its duration meriting much notice, but when the mechanical limitations of the 7” 45rpm single codified the length of a song at about 3 1/2 minutes, the pop-listening western world really adapted its musical mindset to that standard, to the point where even a massive hit like “Hey Jude” drew anxious notice from radio for being 7 minutes long. And now there’s QuickHitz (“Twice the music, all the time”), a radio format that cuts off every song at the two-minute mark, which, if it catches on in a big way—and face it, have stranger things not caught on?—will surely result in loads of pop singles being produced at under two-minute lengths.

The Residents are prophetic yet again.

But in avant-garde classical and artrock circles, songs that seem crazy long by pop radio standards are a perfectly normal part of the listening experience. After all, what impact would Oneida’s infamous 14-minute, one note song “Sheets of Easter” have had if it were three minutes long? How about Television’s “Marquee Moon?” King Crimson’s “Starless?” Flaming Lips’ 24-hour song7 Skies H3?” And those examples are all well within the rock idiom—I haven’t even broached the New Age, noise, and ambient genres. So many of us have been acculturated to think of long pieces of music as “pretentious” or “indulgent,” products of anti-populist ivory tower navel gazers who are hostile to average listeners. Well you know what? Fuck your shitty attention span.

The Fayetteville, AR composer Cheesy Nirvosa has been making glitchy, drony compositions since the mid-oughts, and under the name “crysknife007,” he’s established a YouTube channel to disseminate conceptual pieces of lengths that could fairly be seen as downright punitive to many listeners. These are often the sorts of things that, in a LaMonte Youngish kinda way, can be more interesting to talk about than actually listen to, especially since many of these works are 12 hours in duration. “12 Hours of Pi Being Dialed on a Rotary Phone.” “Yoda Laughs for 12 Hours.” “PSY Says HANGOVER for 12 Hours.” “6 Tone Car Alarm for 12 Hours.” (I recommend city dwellers skip that last one, it’s waaaaaaaay too much like ordinary life.)

But while a few of these ideas come off as overly winking and even mildly irritating noise-artist stunts, some of them are absolutely lovely—specifically, pieces made from looped ambient sounds culled from science fiction movies. The general thrum of Ridley Scott’s dystopian future Los Angeles filtered through Rick Deckard’s apartment windows in Blade Runner? That absolutely holds up as drone music, as does the TARDIS sound effect from Doctor Who and various spaceship engine sounds from the Alien and Star Wars franchises. I endorse playing more than one of these at once, remixing them yourselves in your browser with the pause and volume controls, whatever. Knock yourself out. Maybe even, I dunno, listen to one of ‘em for 12 hours.
 

 

 
More after the jump…

Posted by Ron Kretsch | Leave a comment
United States of Jedi: Liam Lynch vs. ‘Star Wars’
07.30.2014
07:24 am

Topics:
Amusing
Movies
Music

Tags:
Star Wars
Liam Lynch

lynchjedi.jpg
 
It’s possibly the anticipation of the next Star Wars movie that’s brought this mash-up from circa 2007 back into the ether. Whatever…is generally how I feel about the series of Star Wars movies, which is maybe why I quite like this mash-up of Liam Lynch’s “United States of Whatever” with sample dialog from Star Wars.

Some of you will remember a similar mash-up between Lynch and Darth Vader’s “Noooooooooooo!” back in 2011, but this one has the edge.

It comes via Bootie Dragon, who has a variety of similar mash-ups over on Sound Cloud, along with a rather tasty mix tape that includes samples of Kraftwerk, William Burroughs, Doctor Who and The Beastie Boys all dovetailed together.
 

 

 
H/T Nerdcore
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
‘Hardware Wars,’ the ‘Star Wars’ parody that became a blockbuster
07.07.2014
09:27 am

Topics:
Movies

Tags:
Star Wars
Hardware Wars

Hardware Wars
 
Hardware Wars is a thirteen-minute video parody of Star Wars that was released the same year as the original, 1977. Directed by Ernie Fosselius (the intro splash touts “20th Century FOSS”), the spoof, which is structured as a coming-soon preview, is essentially a MAD Magazine takedown come to life—albeit not quite as funny. The central joke is that all of the expensive sci-fi effects are replaced with cheapo footage of flying toasters, irons, and so forth. Made for a mere $8,000, it grossed, at a conservative estimate, $500,000, making it more profitable, on a percentage basis, than Star Wars itself.

George Lucas himself, who has not often expressed enthusiasm for satires of his saga, is fond of the parody, calling it “a cute little film.” According to Salon, it is “the only non-Lucasfilm product to be sold in Star Wars Insider magazine.” 
 
Hardware Wars
 
The names of the characters are in the purest eye-roll spirit of MAD: “Fluke Starbucker,” “Ham Salad,” “Augie ‘Ben’ Doggie,” “Darph Nader,” “Princess Anne-Droid”—are these even jokes? No matter. The movie derives from an earlier, cruder form of parody than we’re used to today, in which invoking an entity with any kind of offbeat spin serves as the joke, regardless of whether or not it makes any sense. The conceit of Hardware Wars is to twit the big-budget techno-wizardry of Star Wars by replacing the weaponry, robots, and spacecraft with flashlights, toasters, vacuum cleaners, and the like. Big metal flashlights stand in for light sabers. Leia’s spiral braids are represented as cinnamon rolls. “Chewchilla” is portrayed by a Cookie Monster puppet painted brown.

Fascinatingly, “Fluke Starbucker” was portrayed by Scott Mathews, who later compiled an incredibly impressive resume in the music industry. He’s won several Grammies…. Wikipedia is usefully concise here:
 

[Mathews] has produced Elvis Costello, Roy Orbison, Rosanne Cash, Jerry Garcia, Huey Lewis, John Hiatt, Nick Lowe, Dick Dale, Sammy Hagar, Van Dyke Parks and many others. He has written songs and/or recorded with ... Barbra Streisand to John Lee Hooker, including Keith Richards, George Harrison, Mick Jagger, The Beach Boys, Eric Clapton, Van Morrison, Bonnie Raitt, David Bowie, Steve Perry, Johnny Cash, Todd Rundgren, Robert Cray, Ry Cooder, The Tubes, Sammy Hagar, Jefferson Starship and Raphael Saadiq. He has performed on various musical instruments with Neil Young, John Fogerty, Kid Rock, Steve Miller, Carlos Santana, Boz Scaggs, Jimmy Buffett, Zac Brown, Ringo Starr, Joe Walsh, Dwight Yoakam, Clint Black, Tom Waits, Chris Isaak and Joe Satriani

 
Of Hardware Wars, Mathews, who was all of 22 when the movie was made, avers, “I think a lot of the charm of that movie is the fact that we didn’t really know what we were doing. ... It was cinéma vérité at its finest. I’m sitting there spaced out and cracking up in some of those scenes.”

In 1997 Lucas began releasing the “altered” versions of the original trilogy, and Michael Wiese, who had produced Hardware Wars, decided that it was time to produce an updated version of his low-budget classic. The intense reaction of the movie’s fans, at least at the San Diego Comic-Con screening attended by Freeling, revealed levels of obsessiveness reminiscent of the fans of Star Wars.

Says Cindy Freeling, who played “Princess Anne-Droid”:

“It was unbelievable. The room was jampacked. There were people flowing out into the hall. The audience knew every single little detail of the movie. I’ve certainly seen Hardware Wars, but I don’t have every frame memorized. Whenever a ‘special defect’ would come up, the whole audience would start cheering and clapping. They knew right when it was happening.”

 
Hardware Wars
 
However, just as with Lucas’ masterpiece, the decision to clean up some of the technical shortcomings of the original was not universally well received by the diehard—in the case of Hardware Wars the decision is more ironic, given that the cheesy low-budget tactics were the central point of the movie.

Scott Mathews:

“When Ernie was transferring all the old footage from the original print, they had all this amazing gear where they could embellish it. They told Ernie that they could erase the strings! They weren’t checking with him: They were telling him they would be doing that in their transfer. Ernie tried to explain it. He said: ‘No, wait. We put extra strings on there so you could see them! There’s more light shining on the strings than there is on the flying iron!’ He got a kick out of it. These were the guys that he was collaborating with to make the next phase happen. And they don’t even get the premise of the original.”

Herewith, the original cut of Hardware Wars:
 

 
via Lawyer, Guns & Money; most of the information in this post comes from this 2002 Salon article by Bob Calhoun

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Behind-the-scenes photos of prototype Boba Fett costume, 1978
03.17.2014
08:23 am

Topics:
Movies

Tags:
Star Wars
Boba Fett


 
Here are some behind-the-scenes photos taken in June of 1978 of either a costume fitting or screentest for badass Star Wars character Boba Fett. Apparently these images were shot at George Lucas’ home.

Interesting to see Boba Fett as all white.

Redditor RandomMovieTriviaGuy brought up this interesting Star Wars factoid I did not know:

George Lucas was so sure the original film would flop that instead of attending the premiere, he went on holiday to Hawaii with his good friend Steven Spielberg, where they came up with the idea for Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981).


 

 
More images after the jump…
 

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
‘Incestual Realization Of Han Solo’
02.05.2014
08:43 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
Star Wars
Incest


 
This video may have been uploaded to YouTube in 2011, but I’ve never seen it before. As we already know, the Internet is big and still full of amusing surprises like this “Incestual Realization Of Han Solo” video.

Apparently Luke Skywalker himself even confessed to this on Digg once, but it was yanked, probably by George Lucas. Read between the lines, people!
 


 
Via reddit

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
I’d rather watch George Lucas’ 1966 student film, ‘Freiheit,’ than any of those godawful ‘prequels’
01.08.2014
07:17 am

Topics:
Movies

Tags:
Star Wars
George Lucas
war
student film

still
 
George Lucas has managed to fashion one of the strangest careers in all of cinema. First, he created one of the biggest (if not the biggest) movie franchises of all time. Then, he took the legacy of that phenomenon and perverted it beyond all recognition. And as if contaminating the childhoods of a million nerds wasn’t enough, he became highly litigious, threatening to sue anyone who so much as referenced Star Wars in a fan parody—he even tried to sue lobbyists during the Reagan administration over the nickname of the Strategic Defense Initiative missile program! Yes, it’s fair to say that no one quite hates George Lucas as much as Star Wars fans hate George Lucas. The guy seems like kind of a dick.

But in the spirit of goodwill towards men, I think it’s only fair that we go back to a time when Lucas was an idealistic young film student, making movies to actually emotionally engage people. Freiheit is a short Lucas made in 1966, and it’s certainly not something you’d expect from the man who brought us Jar Jar Binks. In less than three minutes, a young man (played by—get this—Randal Kleiser, the future director of Grease) attempts to dash across the border from East to West Germany. He is shot after a near escape, and he dies with a rabble of narrations on freedom.

It’s a student film in every sense of the word—dramatic and heavy-handed, and arguably overly-literal in its messaging. It’s also really impressive. The action shots show amazing instincts. The pacing builds anticipation. The editing is crisp. Even the blue tint to the film gives a cohesion to the cinematography—what would have been a busy setting is now austere and cool. It’s almost enough to make me forgive him. Almost.
 

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
Crappy Thomas Kinkade paintings get the ‘Star Wars’ treatment
11.01.2013
01:23 pm

Topics:
Art
Movies

Tags:
Star Wars
Thomas Kinkade


 
Iconic kitschy shit-paintings by Thomas Kinkade get a major upgrade (that’s my opinion and I ain’t backin’ down) with added Star Wars themes by artist Jeff Bennett.

The series is appropriately titled “Wars On Kinkade.”
 

 

 

 

 
Via Laughing Squid

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
‘Star Wars’ stormtrooper helmets customized by Damien Hirst and other top artists

Stormtrooper helmets
“Spot Painted Art Wars Stormtrooper Helmet” by Damien Hirst and “Haitian Witch Doctor” by David Bailey

We’ve all seen our major cities, and probably even some rural areas, dotted with ceramic cows and horses and human hands and the like, all painted in crazy colors—a trend that has about run its course, if you ask me—but here’s a variation even I can get behind. Ben Moore, founder of the UK public art enterprise art below, in collaboration with the original designer of the iconic stormtrooper helmet from Star Wars, Andrew Sinsworth, have asked several of the world’s most renowned contemporary artists to take a stab at putting their personal imprint on the helmet. The project is called, aptly, “Art Wars,” and the helmets were on display at the Saatchi Gallery in London last week and will be showcased “for 4 weeks across billboard space on an entire platform of Regent’s Park Underground station to coincide with Frieze (17-20th October).”

Thankfully, the artists ran with the idea, and a lot of the designs show considerable cheek and whimsy. Among the artists is Mr. Brainwash, who came to public prominence as a result of Banksy’s 2010 movie Exit Through the Gift Shop; his entry appropriates Andy Warhol’s Campbell Soup canvases and adds an aerosol spray top.
 
Mr. Brainwash
 
My favorite might be Jason Brooks’ homage to the legendary Formula 1 race driver Ayrton Senna (if you haven’t seen the documentary Senna, you really must):
 
Senna
 
Check out the entire range of helmets at the “Art Wars” website.
 
Stormtrooper helmets
 
via designboom

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
Alec Guinness, a.k.a. Obi-Wan Kenobi, kind of hated ‘Star Wars’
10.13.2013
12:05 pm

Topics:
Movies

Tags:
Star Wars
George Lucas
Alec Guinness


 
Star Wars may have represented a kick-start for Alec Guinness’ career as well as a wholly unexpected windfall when his share of the gross turned out to be far more lucrative than he had any right to expect. But on the whole, Guinness seemed annoyed by the whole idea of George Lucas’ space opera.

Also, he was kind of terrible at remembering people’s names.

In Alec Guinness: The Authorised Biography,  Piers Paul Read gives readers a glimpse at some correspondence and diaries written by Guinness while Star Wars—later christened Star Wars: A New Hope—was being filmed.

In a letter dated December 22, 1975, Guinness wrote a friend, noting the likelihood of his next movie being “fairy-tale rubbish”:

I have been offered a movie (20th Cent. Fox) which I may accept, if they come up with proper money. London and N. Africa, starting in mid-March. Science fiction—which gives me pause—but it is to be directed by Paul [sic] Lucas who did American Graffiti, which makes me feel I should. Big part. Fairy-tale rubbish but could be interesting perhaps.

 
A few months later, on March 18, 1976, he’s working on Star Wars but not having a very good time. He also has inordinate difficulty remembering Harrison Ford’s name.

Can’t say I’m enjoying the film. … new rubbish dialogue reaches me every other day on wadges of pink paper—and none of it makes my character clear or even bearable. I just think, thankfully, of the lovely bread, which will help me keep going until next April even if Yahoo collapses in a week. … I must off to studio and work with a dwarf (very sweet—and he has to wash in a bidet) and your fellow countrymen Mark Hamill and Tennyson (that can’t be right) Ford. Ellison (?—No!)—well, a rangy, languid young man who is probably intelligent and amusing. But Oh, God, God, they make me feel ninety—and treat me as if I was 106.—Oh, Harrison Ford—ever heard of him?

 
Yahoo was a West End production in which Guinness played Jonathan Swift—as it happens, my parents saw that play; my mother always said it was one of the most powerful pieces of acting she had ever seen.

Then there’s this diary entry from April 16, 1976:

Apart from the money, which should get me comfortably through the year, I regret having embarked on the film. I like them all well enough, but it’s not an acting job, the dialogue, which is lamentable, keeps being changed and only slightly improved, and I find myself old and out of touch with the young.

 
In his memoir A Positively Final Appearance, Guinness tells the following story:

A refurbished Star Wars is on somewhere or everywhere. I have no intention of revisiting any galaxy. I shrivel inside each time it is mentioned. Twenty years ago, when the film was first shown, it had a freshness, also a sense of moral good and fun. Then I began to be uneasy at the influence it might be having. The bad penny first dropped in San Francisco when a sweet-faced boy of twelve told me proudly that he had seen Star Wars over a hundred times. His elegant mother nodded with approval. Looking into the boy’s eyes I thought I detected little star-shells of madness beginning to form and I guessed that one day they would explode.

“I would love you to do something for me,” I said.

“Anything! Anything!” the boy said rapturously.

“You won’t like what I’m going to ask you to do,” I said.

“Anything, sir, anything!”

“Well,” I said, “do you think you could promise never to see Star Wars again?”

He burst into tears. His mother drew himself up to an immense height. “What a dreadful thing to say to a child!” she barked, and dragged the poor kid away. Maybe she was right but I just hope the lad, now in his thirties, is not living in a fantasy world of secondhand, childish banalities.

 
Clearly, Guinness was kind of being a dick here, but I’m pretty much on board with him doing this. I read somewhere that the young boy in question was grateful for Guinness’ “intervention,” but I wasn’t able to verify that.

Allegedly, Guinness was also eager to have the Obi-Wan character killed off to limit his involvement in future Star Wars movies.

Interestingly, Lucas has said nothing but complimentary things about Guinness’ involvement in the project, and, according to the Piers Paul Read biography, Lucas even pushed for the actor to receive 2.25% of the back end rather than the agreed-upon two points. I’m far from Lucas’ biggest fan, but that was a pretty cool thing to do.

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
The shittiest ‘Star Wars’ themed disco dance routine you’ll probably ever see, 1977
07.19.2013
01:55 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Music

Tags:
Star Wars
Meco


 
Incredibly bad dance number set to Meco’s discofied “Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band,” a massive hit nearly everywhere in 1977.

This comes from Dutch TV’s long-running TopPop program. I discovered it earlier this morning whilst looking for some Suzanne Ciani-related multi-media. It’s so incredibly shit that that I thought it deserved its own post.

Cowboy hats? Lassos? How does this have ANYTHING to do with Star Wars???
 

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
C-3PO rapping, but don’t worry, your childhood was already dead
06.28.2013
01:21 pm

Topics:
Amusing
Hip-hop
Movies

Tags:
Star Wars
rap


 
People make so much of the terrible Star Wars prequel trilogy ruining their childhood. I just don’t buy it! First of all, you always have the option I took, which is to never speak of them again... except for now, which I only do as a public service.

Second, George Lucas has been making terrible decisions with the Star Wars brand since forever! Check out this intro video for the Star Tours space flight simulator attraction, with C-3PO rapping. Incidentally, if you still want to go on Star Tours today, you gotta get to Eurodisney. I pray they haven’t updated the intro!
 

 
Via Everything is Terrible

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment
Sushi Ewoks
06.10.2013
08:47 am

Topics:
Food
Movies

Tags:
Star Wars
Ewoks
Sushi


 
Perhaps a little too cute for Dangerous Minds (I couldn’t help myself) these Star Wars-themed sushi Ewoks look damned delectable!

There’s a step-by-step “how to” at LydMc.

Below, elder Ewoks made from kiwis.


 
Via Nerdcore

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Grumpy Cat, Doctor Who and Star Wars BDSM toys


Grumpy Cat-inspired BDSM paddle

Etsy shop Geek Kink (based in Sacramento, CA) makes meme-ish BDSM toys. Their goal is “to make toys no man has made before.”

Like a TARDIS paddle.
 

Doctor Who-inspired Tardis paddle
 

Darth Vader inspired Lightsaber Cane Mature BDSM


Sith Lightsaber-inspired BDSM flogger
 
With thanks to Edward Ludvigsen!

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Star Wars characters modeling fur for Vogue in 1977
04.04.2013
11:10 am

Topics:
Fashion
Movies

Tags:
Star Wars
1977
Vogue Magazine


 
Ahhhh, the 70s. A decadent decade chock-full of disco dust, fur coats, Jerry Hall and Star Wars. Here’s a tribute to all of that (and so much more) summed up in a Vogue fashion spread from 1977.
 

 

 

 

 
Via The World’s Best Ever

Posted by Tara McGinley | Leave a comment
Galactic mindbender: Watch all six ‘Star Wars’ movies at once!
03.25.2013
01:54 am

Topics:
Movies

Tags:
Star Wars


 
Mike McNulty does a Nam June Paik number on the Star Wars movies. In watching all six at the same time, the viewer encounters an infinite number of possible correlations and undercurrents of meanings. It’s like a cinematic variation on the I Ching, a Tarot deck, or the collective unconscious of several million hardcore fanboys.

As a non-fan, I prefer this to watching the films individually.

Imagine this on the big screen. It could be lethal.
 

 
Thanks to Oslo Wentworth.

Posted by Marc Campbell | Leave a comment
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