Don’t say I never gave ya nothing…
Don’t say I never gave ya nothing…
What’s Russian for “pwned”?
It’s been another horrific, shitty, awful week for GOP nominee
Thurston Howell III Mitt Romney. Now, even Russian President Vladimir Putin can’t resist piling on the insults aimed at the increasingly hapless Republican standard-bearer.
Yesterday Putin said he was “grateful” to Mitt Romney for saying Russia remained the United States’ “No. 1 geopolitical foe” because this idiotic statement of non-fact aimed at the GOP’s abundant pool of cud-chewing low information voters, actually helped Putin in missile defense negotiations!
According to the Russian news agency RIA Novosti, Putin told reporters:
“I’m grateful to him for formulating his stance so clearly because he has once again proven the correctness of our approach to missile defense problems. The most important thing for us is that even if he doesn’t win now, he or a person with similar views may come to power in four years. We must take that into consideration while dealing with security issues for a long perspective.”
Seems reasonable enough to me!
Way to go, Mittens! That’s what happens when you pander to people who get their information from ALL CAPS EMAILS. Yet another reason why Mitt Romney will never be the President of the United States.
President Obama drew blood with his own viciously witty riposte to Romney’s idiotic/politically suicidal statement about the crisis in Libya:
“There’s a broader lesson to be learned here: Gov. Romney seems to have a tendency to shoot first and aim later and as president one of the things I’ve learned is you can’t do that. It’s important for you to make sure that the statements that you make are backed up by the facts and that you’ve thought through the ramifications before you make them.”
Dropped. Romney really tossed that ball right over the fuckin’ plate, didn’t he?!?!?
How big a dickhead is President Vladimir Putin?
Well, we’ll soon find out, as three members of Feminist Punk Rockers, Pussy Riot went on trial today, charged with “hooliganism motivated by religious hatred.”
Their crime? Performing an anti-Putin, anti-religious song at the Christ the Saviour Cathedral, Moscow, in February this year.
It was a moment of shock political theater, as the band stormed the altar while shouting “Mother of God, Blessed Virgin, drive out Putin!”
Now, Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, 22, Yekaterina Samutsevich, 29, and Maria Alekhina, 24, face up to 7 years in jail for their actions.
These women have been detained since March, without access to their families or possibility of parole. Russian opinion is divided over the arrests, but there have been major protests across Moscow in support of Pussy Riot.
However, it is feared Pussy Riot won’t get a fair trial, as Putin is the real force behind the prosecutions. Nikolai Polozov, one of Pussy Riot’s defence lawyers, told the Daily Telegraph:
“They went on to Putin’s sacred ground and he’s a vengeful person. I’m sure he gave the signal for this prosecution.”
Mr Polozov said he expected a guilty verdict but could not predict the sentence. “It could be two months, it could be seven years,” he said.
“If Putin is under pressure, say on Syria, or something else happens, he might use the girls as a distraction and earn some political capital by putting them away. And then they’ll be sewing felt boots, like Khodorkovsky, in a prison colony.”
Amnesty International are currently organizing a campaign to Free Pussy Riot:
Today marks the start of Nadezhda, Maria and Ekaterina’s trial. It’s been a long time coming: they’ve been held in Moscow police cells since their arrest in February, denied access to their families – including their young children.
Last week, the Moscow City Court ruled to extend their detention by another six months on the grounds that the women committed a serious crime, and may abscond if granted bail.
Bonus clips of Pussy Riot’s “shock” performance plus news report, after the jump…
Outside of Moscow, the eccentric members of nun-like sect venerate Russian politician Vladimir Putin as the reincarnation of the Apostle Paul, AKA Saul of Tarsus, AKA Saint Paul, early Christian missionary and proselytizer. The women are the followers of Svetlana Frolova, who calls herself Mother Fotina. From The Telegraph:
“According to the Bible, Paul the Apostle was a military commander at first and an evil persecutor of Christians before he started spreading the Christian gospel,” the sect’s founder, who styles herself Mother Fotina, said.
“In his days in the KGB, Putin also did some rather unrighteous things. But once he became president, he was imbued with the Holy Spirit, and just like the apostle, he started wisely leading his flock. It is hard for him now but he is fulfilling his heroic deed as an apostle.”
Reports from the sect’s headquarters close to the town of Nizhny Novgorod say that its members are all women who dress like nuns and pray for Mr Putin’s success in front of traditional Russian Orthodox Church icons that have been placed alongside a portrait of the Russian prime minister himself.
Followers are reportedly encouraged to sing upbeat patriotic Soviet songs at ‘services’ rather than hymns.
As befits a sect that worships a man who has denounced the decadence of the oligarchs, the sect’s members are said to survive on a Spartan diet of turnips, carrots, peas and buckwheat.
A local priest dismissed Mother Fotina: “Her so-called teachings are a nonsensical mixture of Orthodoxy, Catholicism, the occult, Buddhism and political information,” he said. “But (Mother) Fotina does not come across as a mad person.”
A spokesperson for Putin said that the macho Russian strongman was “bemused.”
Comrade Vladimir Putin has proven himself to be more than just Ruler of All Russia (surely Prime Minster? - Ed.) - a dab hand at judo, a master of swimming, an ace shot, a singer, and excellent at going topless in public. It is, therefore, no surprise that some wag (surely Right Wing Capitalist Lackey? - Ed.) has a comic strip, poking fun at VP and his idiosyncratic ways. The strip comes at an interesting time, as Putin, who has had the highest approval rating of any world leader, may stand for re-election as President in Russia’s 2012 elections.
Bonus strip and Putin sings video after the jump…
overlord Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has offered his apparently highly capable services to the National Judo Team:
The 57-year-old prime minister made the proposal at a special coaching session on Saturday aired on state television, adding to his carefully-crafted macho image. Putin, who many observers believe is still paramount leader despite standing down as president last year, entered the hall of St Petersburg’s School of Sport Mastery dressed in a white judogi and black belt, to applause from the assembled squad. After bowing, the former KGB spy went onto the mats, throwing squad members half his age and even tackling the chief trainer, Olympic Gold medallist Ezio Gamba.
And when he’s not tranquilizing tigers or riding semi-naked on a horse, Putin makes instructional videos. To coincide with his 56th birthday, the ex-, soon to be next, President of Russia’s “Let’s Learn Judo” came out last year.