Ever wanted your home to smell like greasy fried chicken made with eleven herbs and spices? Well now is your chance with this KFC chicken-scented candle. I’ve heard of bacon-scented candles before, but not fried chicken. I can’t imagine that it smells too good, but your mileage may vary.

Sadly, these candles aren’t available to purchase just yet as they’re part of a social media KFC giveaway contest. If you’d like to take part and try to win one of these puppies, click here.

And no, this isn’t stealthy paid advertorial. I just thought this candle was totally gross. That doesn’t mean I didn’t fall for the bait of reblogging their contest hook, line and sinker, of course…

 
The Rock and Roll Cookbook: Favorite Recipes from the Chart Toppers, Hit Makers and Legends of Rock and Roll, published in 1993, includes a recipe for chocolate-covered fried chicken from DEVO’s Mark Mothersbaugh. I’m still not sure whether the men of DEVO actually ate this dish, or if the recipe is more along the lines of Ween’s endorsement of huffing Scotchgard.

The yellow press, never friendly to Mothersbaugh’s band of latter-day saints, mocked this recipe when the cookbook was published. Under the headline “OH, PLEASE PASS MY BARF BAG!” the writer of the Philadelphia Daily News’ “Tattle” column opined:

We would advise staying away from Devo’s Chocolava Stump Logs, created from carry-out chicken logs and Bosco chocolate syrup; all they prove is that some people still smoke a lot of dope.

But, you know, the proof of the pudding, and like that, Philadelphia Daily News: it’s probably actually really good. Chicken mole is a respected cousin to this friendless dish, and Mothersbaugh demonstrates his impeccable taste in the first line of the recipe with his selection of Pioneer Chicken, the best fried chicken chain of them all. If you’ve ever had a good bucket of Pioneer, KFC and Popeyes taste like the contents of a vacuum cleaner; you might as well suck old cornflakes out of your friend’s couch and pay him ten dollars. If you want some of Pioneer’s famous bird in 2015, you’ll have to travel to Los Angeles or Indonesia, and God help you if you’re trying to find Bosco in either of those places. Leave time for a stop at Kroger’s on the way to the airport, pilgrim, or you’ll be fucked, flustered and far from home.

I digress. Duty now, spuds!

Chocolava Stump Logs

1 12-pack order of Pioneer Chicken Carry-out Logs

1 can Bosco chocolate sauce

Place room temperature sauce into bowl, then carefully dip chicken logs into sauce (chicken nuggets can be substituted in an emergency). Arrange on a plate in either Lincoln Log Cabin or smiley face shapes. Enjoy!

Specify free-range chicken and pesticide-free chocolate syrup.

Something tasty from DEVO, after the jump…