Look like an artist without having to make any pesky art with this $2,100 painted-dripped easel
03.08.2013
07:42 am

Topics:
Amusing

Tags:
idiocy

easel
 
Twee clothing and lifestyle company Anthropologie has always pushed the boundaries of shabby chic, but this “artsy” artifice goes above and beyond their usual $98 driftwood iPod docks and $6,500 brocade surfboards.

Behold the “Studio Days Easel”—already stained with paint—and a steal at just $2100! Neither an antique, nor a particularly sophisticated piece of equipment, with this baby, you’re paying for ready-made sentimentality. Just listen to this satisfied customer:

I was reluctant to dish out the big bucks for this easel, but my husband knew how much I loved it and secretely [sic] purchased it for me as a birthday gift. I love it! Have know [sic] idea why I hesitated to buy it, it fits so perfectly with my living room decor here in El Paso and is such a conversation piece. Sometimes I use it to display my own art, sometimes I leave it “naked” to let its interesting colors be on display. I know I will have this forever and it’s worth the investment.

Except when you consider that you could buy any old wood easel and drip paint all over it for about $100 and get the same damned thing.

Written by Amber Frost | Discussion
Kooky Christian ‘prophet’ Cindy Jacobs says God supernaturally multiplied her spaghetti


 
In the latest installment of her loopy God Knows webcast, zany self-proclaimed prophet Cindy Jacobs seems to be trying to communicate that God shows himself in mysterious ways, like curiously long lasting shoes and even tires that you can drive on until you’ve got enough money to buy some new ones. Sometimes he manifests in bottomless bowls of spaghetti!

“We believe we’re moving into a supernatural season, where if needed, God will multiply food,” the dingbat Internet evangelist explained. “I have seen God multiply food more than one time when I was cooking. I mean when our kids were little, they were always bringing friends into the house. And I remember spooning out spaghetti or whatever, just praying in the spirit over that, and God just made more and more and more. You know, I’ve seen oil multiply as I was praying for the sick. I’ve seen bottles of oil just fill up about a cup a time of oil. But the point is we were promised supernatural provisions.”

As the world shakes economically, you do not need to be in fear. Prepare for the tumultuous season ahead with supernatural guidance from the Lord!
 

 
Via Right Wing Watch

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
‘Hours of Racist, Imperialist Fun!’: Toy predator drone + snarky Amazon comments
12.31.2012
07:45 am

Topics:
U.S.A.!!!

Tags:
idiocy
toys

Drone toy
“1:97 Scale Die Cast United States Military Aircraft - US Air Force Medium Altitude, Long Endurance, Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV) RQ-1 Predator with Display Stand”
 
While you may remember that US unmanned drones have killed 178 children so far, these particular killing machines do present a unique opportunity for childhood desensitization to war. You can’t make land mines, Agent Orange, or Napalm into adorable little toys, can you? Of course, it would be absurd to do that, right, since Napalm and Agent Orange are banned outright, and land mines are all but banned.

At least the fine people in the Amazon comment section are giving us this sardonic, commiserative gold to chew on:

‘Hours of Racist, Imperialist Fun!’

I bought this for my son and he spent countless, blissful hours simulating massacres of weddings, funerals, and other family gatherings of brown skinned foreigners! He even realized that if he circled the drone back around on the first responders, his effective kill rate soared! Neat-o!

Educationally, this toy can’t be beat - inculcating a predilection for indiscriminate, imperialist violence against non-combatants from oppressed and marginalized communities is precisely in accordance with truly “American values!”

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Nothing teaches your kids about the fact that they may one day be the target of an extra-judicious execution by executive order via a flying death robot from the movie Terminator, then this beautiful piece of replica toy war crimes.

I remember playing with toy bulldozers when I was a young boy thinking how cool it was to be able to destroy things with my awesome machine. God what I would give to be able to be a child my sons age these days. They can make believe destroying houses and buildings from miles away up in the sky. They don’t have to get dirty, and are more environmentally clean than those dirty diesel engines. Plus, as an added bonus, the little brown people don’t have a warning to be able to run away so you get to kill many more people while you destroy the buildings. Plus, the mindset that this instills in my son will one day, I hope, allow him to become a productive member of the ruling class.

So feel free to join in, add a comment, and exercise the only voice you have in American war culture—that of a consumer!

 

Written by Amber Frost | Discussion
Reality is what you make of it: North Carolina outlaws sea level rise


 
Is the Tar Heel State getting jealous of Arizona’s reputation for bad craziness and low IQ buffoonery? WTF, North Carolina?

Scott Huler writes at Scientific American:

In a story first discussed by the NC Coastal Federation and given more play May 29 by the News & Observer of Raleigh and its sister paper the Charlotte Observer, a group of legislators from 20 coastal NC counties whose economies will be most affected by rising seas have legislated the words “Nuh-unh!” into the NC Constitution.

Okay, cheap shot alert. Actually all they did was say science is crazy. There is virtually universal agreement among scientists that the sea will probably rise a good meter or more before the end of the century, wreaking havoc in low-lying coastal counties. So the members of the developers’ lobbying group NC-20 say the sea will rise only 8 inches, because … because … well, SHUT UP, that’s because why.

That is, the meter or so of sea level rise predicted for the NC Coastal Resources Commission by a state-appointed board of scientists is extremely inconvenient for counties along the coast. So the NC-20 types have decided that we can escape sea level rise – in North Carolina, anyhow – by making it against the law. Or making MEASURING it against the law, anyhow.

Here’s a link to the circulated Replacement House Bill 819. The key language is in section 2, paragraph e, talking about rates of sea level rise: “These rates shall only be determined using historical data, and these data shall be limited to the time period following the year 1900. Rates of seas-level rise may be extrapolated linearly. …” It goes on, but there’s the core: North Carolina legislators have decided that the way to make exponential increases in sea level rise – caused by those inconvenient feedback loops we keep hearing about from scientists – go away is to make it against the law to extrapolate exponential; we can only extrapolate along a line predicted by previous sea level rises.

Which, yes, is exactly like saying, do not predict tomorrow’s weather based on radar images of a hurricane swirling offshore, moving west towards us with 60-mph winds and ten inches of rain. Predict the weather based on the last two weeks of fair weather with gentle breezes towards the east. Don’t use radar and barometers; use the Farmer’s Almanac and what grandpa remembers.

Willful ignorance will not be a valued survival skill for the species as time goes on…

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
Round ‘em up: ‘I figured a way to get rid of all the lesbians and queers’ sez Christianist minister


 
Yet another example of why no self-respecting young person with a lick of sense wants anything to do with American-style Christianity as North Carolina “Christian” minister Charles L. Worley, of the Providence Road Baptist Church provides the latest reason to flee the faith:

“I figured a way to get rid of all the lesbians and queers,” he says in his sermon, delivered on May 13. “Build a great, big, large fence — 150 or 100 mile long — put all the lesbians in there, [drop some food down] … Do the same thing for the queers and the homosexuals and have that fence electrified so they can’t get out… And you know what, in a few years, they’ll die out.”

Pastor Worley apparently isn’t bright enough to know where gay people come from, and yet this fucking fool seems to think his opinion is important enough to share with the rest of us…

There will be a peaceful protest against Worley’s hate-mongering by the Catawba Valley Citizens Against Hate on Sunday, May 27.

Regardless if you are gay or straight, Christian or not… this rhetoric is dangerous and harmful. Taking a peaceful stand for our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is paramount.

More details about the protest will be posted to this page soon. Please, only RSVP if you plan to come. If you are out of town, and support our cause but will not be coming to the event, please do not RSVP. In lieu of participating in this event, you can email Pastor Worley at pastor@prbcnc.com, to let him know what you think of his rhetoric. Remember, making threats against Pastor Worley will not help our cause and may result in criminal charges against you. Keep your message clean, clear and peaceful.

Here’s how crazy old fuck Worley responded to the new of the protest:

We offer NO apologies in believing the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. If you live in this area or are ever passing through, I invite you to come visit with us at Providence Road Baptist Church.

Don’ ever change, Rev, you’re doing your cause so much more harm than good…

If you’d like to have a chat with Pastor Worley you can call him on 828-428-2518.
 

Via Towleroad

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
New Obama conspiracy theory causes wingnut vs. wingnut rift!


“Red diaper baby” Barack Hussein Obama II plots world domination.

I’ve already blogged here about the zany new Obama conspiracy theory documentary Dreams From My Real Father which puts forth the ludicrous “theory” that President Barack Obama’s father was not a Kenyan goat herder but rather a radical journalist nearly four decades older than his mother who was also an amateur pornographer…

Now the film is causing a rift in the wingnut ranks as “birther queen” dingbat Orly Taitz (and current GOP candidate for one the US Senate seats for California!) accuses WorldNet Daily and author Jerome Corsi (who himself has a lot—everything—riding on the “birther” fantasy) of “working for” someone else. But who?

TPM’s Michael Lester has made a “trash compactor” cut of the film’s kooky highlights (see below).  It’s a doozy. Via TPM:

“Dreams From My Real Father,” a 97-minute film narrated by an Obama impersonator, weaves the narrative that Obama’s grandfather wasn’t a furniture salesman but an undercover CIA agent who convinced Barack Obama Sr. to marry his teenage daughter to hide the fact that she was impregnated by a 55-year-old communist named Frank Marshall Davis.

The fake Obama narrator sets up the tale as the “the story I would have told if I were being honest with you.” Built through archival black and white footage, the film’s disclaimer states that it includes “re-creations of probable events, using reasoned logic, speculation, and approximated conversations in an attempt to provide a cohesive understanding of Obama’s history.”

Using that disclaimer, the filmmakers assert that Obama had a nose job ahead of his 2004 run for Senate, that his mother posed for naked photos when she was five weeks pregnant with him and that Bill Ayers nurtured Obama’s career.

The film is produced by Highway 61 Entertainment, the same company behind “Farewell Israel,” “Atomic Jihad” and the mockumentaries “Elvis Found Alive” and “Paul McCartney Really Is Dead.” Director Joel Gilbert, who has spoken at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), writes columns for FamilySecurityMatters.org, a website run by Frank Gaffney’s Center for Security Policy.

The film has been favorably reviewed by WND’s Jerome R. Corsi, who wrote an entire book arguing that Obama’s birth certificate is a fake and that he was really born in Kenya and ineligible to be president of the United States.

But the suggestion that Obama really was born in Hawaii and that his father was an American citizen has some conspiracy theorists upset. Birther queen Orly Taitz is troubled by the film because it undermines the theory that Obama’s father had to be a U.S. citizen for him to be a “natural born citizen” (a qualification which would have eliminated several other presidents). WND and Corsi, wrote Taitz, are “trying to kill the case by making up an American citizen father for Obama.”

“Who are they working for? What incentive did they get to do so? Please, tell Corsi and Farah to stop this. Enough and enough,” she wrote.

Wingnut vs. wingnut!

Taitz later posted this on her website:

JEROME CORSI IS DESTROYING THE CASE ON WHICH I WORKED FOR 4 YEARS 24/7/365. HE IS GRATUITOUSLY MAKING UP AN AMERICAN FATHER FOR OBAMA. WHAT IS HIS MOTIVATION TO DO SO? TELL WND AND CORSI TO STOP THIS.

 

 
Previously on Dangerous Minds:
‘Who’s your REAL daddy?’; The new Obama conspiracy theory, mind-rot at its finest

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
If Posh Spice designed a car, what would it be like, I wonder?


 
As if Victoria Beckham wasn’t already a living, breathing rail-thin symbol of how money can never really purchase class, the former “Posh Spice” turned “designer” has announced her new limited-edition Range Rover “Evoque.” The SUV—which was unveiled in Beijing at an auto show on Sunday night—will retail for $129,000, about twice the sticker price of a standard model Range Rover and will be chock-full of Beckham’s tacky trimmings (like mohair carpet floor-mats and rose-gold accents based on her favorite Rolex watch). Only 200 of the limited edition luxury vehicle will be produced and it’s aimed at the super rich of Communist China…

This article made me want to puke:

“I’ve stayed very true to myself. I’ve designed a car that I want to drive, a car that I think David wants to drive,” the former Spice Girl told Reuters in an interview in Beijing, where she was promoting the vehicle, late on Sunday.

“I think that though women will drive this car, it has a masculine edge. I think it’s very cool,” she added.

Beckham, who admitted she had never done a project like this before, said she had learned “an enormous amount.”

“And the bottom line is, would I drive this car, like when I’m designing a dress, would I wear this dress? I love what I do. I consider myself so blessed to do a job that I love and this has been a great experience for me,” said Beckham, wearing a sleeveless striped dress from her own collection.

She said she searched for inspiration in many places.

“I did a lot of research and not just with cars, old and new, but boats, planes, movie stars, different locations,” she said.

“It would be hard to pinpoint exactly where the inspiration came from. It’s just what I like, that’s the bottom line. I don’t try to be too technical about it ... It’s what feels real to me.”

This feels, uh, like well, a joke to me…

The special edition “Evoque” features exclusive, hand-finished matt paint, the first for a Land Rover-type vehicle.

The vehicle also has rose gold accents on the grille and gloss black forged alloy wheels. Inside, the four-seat coupe includes vintage-inspired leather seats, rose gold-plated accents and features trimmings of black lacquer, textured aluminum and mohair.

In addition, the vehicle has bespoke luxury accessories, such as a four-piece leather luggage set and a hand-sewn leather wallet for the owner’s manual signed by (Victoria) Beckham.

Fuck me. The only thing more sickening than contemplating Victoria Beckham’s cringe-worthy tastes is the 200 ludicrous fuckwits who would buy something like this when it rolls off the production line in October. What kind of asshole would want a car designed by Victoria fucking Beckham? For when a “normal” Range Rover isn’t good enough? The Beckham-designed Evoque will really show the world WHO YOU ARE!

This is a car that cries out to be keyed viciously. If I was a bird, I’d make sure to crap on one.

Coming soon, no doubt, the Kim Kardashian designed all-angora interior Porsche “Luscious” with a 7.1 lemon meringue sound system, snakeskin-lined glove compartment and floor-mats made from the skin of homeless people. It runs on Midori, no doubt.
 

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
‘We’re the official OWS group!’ ‘No, we’re the official OWS group!’ and so forth


 
This is (almost) funny: So the upcoming OWS convention in Philly that we’ve been reading about all day? Another OWS group is publicly countering the legitimacy of that group now, claiming that the so-called 99% Declaration Group is not endorsed by the “official” group and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

What a bunch of pompous crybabies. Who gives a fuck? No one owns this movement. They can do it in their way, in their style and you can do it in your own way. Why try to hold this energy back in any way? What’s the point, you’re not on the same side?

Stop being such predictable Lefties!

Play nice! Thelemites get along better than these territorial children!

OWS PR working group statement on the 99% Declaration:

The 99% Declaration and its call for a “national general assembly” in Philadelphia in July is not affiliated with or endorsed by Occupy Wall Street, and the organizers’ plans blatantly contradict OWS’ stated principles.

Many news outlets are running articles suggesting that the Occupy movement is planning a “national general assembly” in Philadelphia in July. This initiative, referred to as The 99% Declaration, is driven by a not-for-profit corporation called The 99 Percent Working Group, LTD., and is not endorsed by the General Assembly at Occupy Wall Street (OWS). The group’s plans blatantly contradict OWS’ Statement of Autonomy, as passed by the General Assembly at Occupy Wall Street, where The 99% Declaration generated more controversy than consensus. The proposal was also rejected by the General Assembly of Occupy Philadelphia, which passed a resolution stating, “We do not support the 99% Declaration, its group, its website, its National GA and anything else associated with it.”

The people of Occupy Wall Street are doubtlessly animated by many of the same concerns addressed by the points in the draft 99% Declaration. However, the group’s plan to select delegates representing each Congressional District to ratify a petition to present to the U.S. government while threatening to run candidates for positions in this corrupted system runs counter to OWS’ commitment to direct democracy, grassroots people power, and building a better society from the bottom up.

When reporting on stories concerning the convening of national ‘Occupy conventions,’ registration of political parties and political action committees, and other high-profile initiatives, we strongly urge reporters, editors, and producers to vet these stories by contacting the official press relations working group of Occupy Wall Street.

From OWS’ Statement of Autonomy:  “Any statement or declaration not released through the General Assembly and made public online at www.nycga.net should be considered independent of Occupy Wall Street.”

The Press Relations Working Group of Occupy Wall Street
press@occupywallst.org
347-292-1444

LAME!

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
Idiot Fox News pundit calls for ‘annihilation’ of Iran
02.23.2012
03:39 pm

Topics:
Hysteria
Kooks
Media

Tags:
idiocy
Iran
Tucker Carlson


 
Idiot conservative goat-boy Tucker Carlson told the panel on Fox’s Red Eye program that he thinks Iran “deserves to be annihilated.”

I think we are the only country with the moral authority [...] sufficient to do that. [The U.S. is] the only country that doesn’t seek hegemony in the world. I do think, I’m sure I’m the lone voice in saying this, that Iran deserves to be annihilated. I think they’re lunatics. I think they’re evil.

“They”? All of ‘em?

That’s a pretty absurd thing to say on the face of it, even if the ruling theocracy in Iran are a bunch of evil lunatics (no argument there from me).

But “annihilated”? The entire country? All 74 million of them? The little kids? The old ladies? The illiterate and the handicapped? Esteemed film director Samira Makhmalbaf? Who are this “they” that Carlson thinks are such evil lunatics that the whole of Iran must be paved over?

The march to war getting drummed up in the media of late—we’ve seen it so many times in the past decade that it’s easy to recognize it happening again—is terrifying.

If you were an Iranian working for military intelligence—or even just someone who had a satellite dish that got American channels—what would you make of someone saying such a thing on a major American news network?

Does the notion of Fox News being a sort of “joke news channel” translate easily into Farsi? Would the Iranians have any sort of past acquaintance with the preposterous person of Tucker Carlson that would cause them to merely groan at the sight of this plonker and turn the channel, like we do?

Or would they “misinterpret” what most Americans see when confronted with the face of Tucker Carlson and overestimate the influence of this twerpy white man of small importance? When I see Tucker Carlson on the tee-vee saying dumb shit like this, as an American, I know that no one gives a fuck what this guy says. He’s Tucker fucking Carlson for fuck’s sake, the wimpiest pundit of all time. However, I don’t think the Iranians, sans context for this dickhead, would know to apply a generous “Tucker Carlson discount” to the importance of his words in the overall scheme of things.

What if they take what he is saying here at face value? What if they thought he was a “big shot”? He’s on television. He’s wearing a tie, even… (You could ask what’s the difference between this and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad saying that Israel should be wiped off the map, but one of the speakers in question is a person of some consequence in the world and the other is Tucker Carlson).

Makes you wonder though doesn’t it? It also makes me wonder why anyone would put Tucker Carlson on TV in the first place and prop him up as some sort of “expert” on anything! To me his stupid face is little more than a Pavlovian signal to flip the channel, pronto.

*I didn’t even want to use his name in the title because no one would have wanted to read this blog post.

UPDATE: Carlson tries to backpedal his comments.
 

Via Think Progress

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
AS IF! Sarah Palin’s icky President’s Day video is trying very hard to get you to think something


 
She is just not gonna fuckin’ quit is she?

Sarah Palin’s nuclear-powered hubris is beginning to border on surrealism if she really thinks she’s ever going to become the President. (Not that I’m hoping that she doesn’t get the GOP nomination in a dead-locked convention this summer, because I most certainly do!)
 

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
Rick Santorum and the New Feminism(!)


 
[The title is not a joke, but you’ll have to bear with me…]

You’d think that as the parent of a child with a rare genetic disorder, Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum would have deep empathy for a fellow parent of a child with a rare genetic disorder—or if he was a true Christian as he claims to be, even support universal healthcare for everyone’s children—but… NOPE!

Tuesday, speaking to a crowd of more than 400 people in Woodland Park, Colorado, Santorum told this woman that free market capitalism should set prices for drugs, whether she could afford it for her kid or not. Via Crooks and Liars:

“People have no problem paying $900 for an iPad,” the candidate explained. “But paying $900 for a drug they have a problem with — it keeps you alive. Why? Because you’ve been conditioned to think health care is something you can get without having to pay for it.”

The mother replied that she could not afford her son’s medication, Abilify, which can cost as much as $1 million a year without health insurance.

“Look, I want your son and everybody to have the opportunity to stay alive on much-needed drugs,” Santorum insisted. “But the bottom line is, we have to give companies the incentive to make those drugs. And if they don’t have the incentive to make those drugs, your son won’t be alive and lots of other people in this country won’t be alive.”

“He’s alive today because drug companies provide care,” the candidate continued. “And if they didn’t think they could make money providing that drug, that drug wouldn’t be here. I sympathize with these compassionate cases. … I want your son to stay alive on much-needed drugs. Fact is, we need companies to have incentives to make drugs. If they don’t have incentives, they won’t make those drugs. We either believe in markets or we don’t.”

How’s about when it comes to healthcare, we don’t believe that free markets are the way to go? It’s as if the thought that there might be ANY other way of doing it never even entered this asshole’s mind or like he was prevented from grokking it by some sort of alien brain structure Republicans have that rejects common sense.

It’s painful to watch, but at the heart of this exchange is something that I think more and more American women—including, yes, even some Christian, conservative women—are going to realize as this election cycle goes on: Republican policies are bad for America’s children.

They don’t want universal healthcare. They’ve got health insurance for their families, so fuck yours.

They don’t want to pay for public schools. Their kids go to private schools, so fuck yours.

How much more obvious can they get before even the most brain-damaged Fox News viewer finally picks up on the fact that this country is going to Hell in a handbasket if the GOP is allowed to gut spending on healthcare, education, infrastructure and social services any more than the cowardly Democrats have already allowed them to. It’s getting obvious that America is becoming a meaner, shittier place to live and raise a family. The Republicans don’t care about the environment, woman’s health matters, the unemployed… What won’t they attack?

Despite what this pious hypocrite seem to believe, where does it say in the Bible that Rick Santorum’s kids should have the best medical care money can buy, but your kids..? Uh, sorry Charlie, that’s just the way the fucking free market works.

There are winners and losers in life and in Capitalism, so buck up, America! It’s God’s will that your kid died, even if you don’t believe in God!

If you ask me, one of the greatest untapped political forces that this country could ever see would be a movement comprised of mothers who know in their hearts that this country is engaging in a race straight to the bottom when men like Rick Santorum have the loudest voices in our society. An informed mother’s movement that knows exactly who (they do have names, addresses and Social Security numbers, of course) were responsible for flushing the future of America’s children down the toilet, would be a deadly Leviathan to the Republican Party and scare the shit out of the goddamned Democrats, too.

I’m a man, so forgive me for saying so, but I do feel strongly that right now is an appropriate historical moment and opportunity to redefine and expand upon the definition of what “Feminism” means for a new century’s evolutionary needs. I’m not saying that motherhood per se would be the necessary requirement, but I am suggesting that it might be the right time for a “new” kind of woman’s movement, not exactly Lysistrata but something along those lines.

Imagine, if you will, how a female politician would have answered that woman’s question in Colorado on Tuesday. This country would be a lot better off if more smart, progressive women would start running for state, local and national elections, because idiots like Rick Santorum are never going to change anything for the better, as he ably demonstrated in the way he answered this question. He should be ashamed to admit to such thoughts in public and yet this bozo thinks he should be elected President saying them aloud with a microphone in front of his face! It’s astonishing how misguided this chump is.
 

 

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
Christian woman attacked by two 80ft demons


 
Coming off like a low-rent, cable access version of arch kook Cindy Jacobs, zany church lady Dorothy Spaulding’s Watchmen network show, Club 36 is perhaps the most hilarious Christian train-wreck TV this great country has produced in… decades. Not since, oh, Dr. Gene Scott has the CRAZY-O-METER pinned like this. If anything, Dorothy’s a lot wackier than “Doc” Scott (if considerably less of a megalomaniac) although I’d have to guess that her IQ is somewhat lower than his was. Or a table’s for that matter.

Not sure who this lady is, but she’s been on the show a few times. Maybe she’s Dot’s sidekick? Her “Ed McMahon”?

Best line: “I didn’t measure them…” although “You can’t have Christian pornography!” is a close second.
 

 
Via Christian Nightmares

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
New Rapture date predicted, just 11 days away!


 
Failed endtimes “prophet” Harold Camping just won’t quit. He’s the Energizer bunny of doomsday seers. Despite getting getting his predictions for the date of the Rapture wrong several times, the 90-year-old coot is still promising that Christians are going to get snatched up into Heaven. The revised Rapture date is just eleven days away! Oh noes!

Camping, who was in a nursing home following a stroke in June, is now recovering at home. He recently recorded an audio message for the Family Radio network’s website, the text, via Beliefnet, is below:

Hello, this is Harold Camping with a few ideas or a few statements so that you can know where I am in this whole picture. I am very, very glad that God has been with me. I’m slowly getting healed, although I still have a long ways to go. There’s been one big change, and that is that I have been able to leave the hospital and now I am able to live with my dear wife at home and that has been very, very comforting and very happy for me. I’m still a long way away from being healed but there is progress being made and at times it looks like it’s very substantial progress, although I still have along way to go. I am particularly grateful when I hear about your prayers and your concerns for my health and well-being and I’m glad that God is answering those prayers.

I do believe that we’re getting very near the very end. We [could not] have known… we’ve learned that there’s a lot of things that we didn’t have quite right and that’s God’s good provision. If he had not kept us from knowing everything that we didn’t know, we would not have been able to be used of Him to bring about the tremendous event that occurred on May 21 of this year, and which probably will be finished out on October 21, that’s coming very shortly. That looks like it will be at this point, it looks like it will be the final end of everything. It also looks like that as God is developing the details for us we are learning from the Bible, God’s details of the end. We find that God is not a respecter of persons. He has no pleasure in the death of the wicked, some of them most wicked in the world, like the son of David who rebelled against David and David cried out: ‘I wish that you were me rather than he.’ That was Absalom, of whom we read quite a bit about in the Bible, and it encourages us to believe that all of our unsaved loved ones will not receive special vengeance of God at all. God says ‘vengeance is mine,’ and that means that He’s going to apply the vengeance that He wants to apply. And when we study the historical record of his application of vengeance, taking for example the prime illustration – the son of David who rebelled and wanted to take the throne and then saw David weeping and wailing over him. We must believe that probably there will be no pain suffered by anyone because of their rebellion against God. This is very comforting to all of us, because we all have children, and have loved ones that are dear to us that we know are not saved; and yet we know that they’ll quietly die. We can be more and more sure that they will quietly die and that will be the end of their story.

Whereas the true believers will quietly receive the new heaven and the new earth. I really am beginning to think as I restudied these matters that there’s going to be no big display of any kind. The end is going to come very, very quietly probably within the next month. It will happen, that is, by October 21.

In the meanwhile, oh my, it’s been so good to hear about those who are continuing to be faithful. They, undoubtedly, are the elect of God, and we know absolutely that the elect will be saved. There is no question at all about that. And we know that there are in the Family Radio many who have been so faithful and are remaining faithful right to the end. Praise God for that.

And so we’re continuing on. By God’s mercy I’m able to do a little bit more in the movement, because I’m no longer in a hospital. But I’m still limited, but on the other hand, there is growth and things are getting better as we go along and maybe God will keep me till the end also so that together we can go to be with Him forever more, and I am very convinced that all of the elect will definitely end up with the Lord Jesus Christ in a very, very few weeks. Thank you so much for allowing me to speak to you. I am so grateful and I wish that I were well, but on the other hand, I know my work has been done and I can wait on the Lord knowing that He will complete it through others as He is so doing right now. Goodbye and may God bless each one of you.”

Why doesn’t this chap just fuck the fuck off, anyway?

Via Christian Nightmares

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
‘Arrest Obama or arrest me’: Internet says Obama’s birth certificate is fake, so this guy went AWOL


 
And here everyone thought “Birtherism” had died out. Not so fast, there’s a new kid on the block(head): meet soon to be discharged Air Force staff sergeant Daryn Moran (yes, that’s his real name, this is not some anti-teabagger jibe).

Moran read on the Internet that Obama’s longform birth certificate is a forgery, so he’s decided to a) make a ridiculous YouTube video about it and b) chat with the “Uncle Ruckus” of the conservative wingnut blogsphere, “Dr.” James David Manning and c) go AWOL to protest Obama’s treachery. (Except apparently he lied about that last part.)

Via the AirForce Times:

Moran appeared to believe he was AWOL and thought arrest would be imminent.

“His birth certificate is a proven forgery. I will also not support any other military person who turns a blind eye to this fact,” he wrote on The Blaze, a conservative website founded by former Fox News personality Glenn Beck. “It’s simple. Arrest B. Obama or arrest me.”

In an audio report posted on BirtherReport.com, Moran said he previously served in the Marine Corps, left on good terms and joined the Air Force in the months following the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

In a follow-up email posted Tuesday on BirtherReport.com and attributed to Moran, the NCO wrote a discharge is imminent and “basically paperwork.”

He wrote in a letter posted Aug. 15 on The Post & Email website that he was a “high priority” for being discharged after meeting with mental-health evaluators. Moran wrote on The Blaze that he would soon receive an “administrative and honorable discharge for a ‘personality disorder’” because he told his leadership that homosexuality is a sin.

He wrote a letter to BirtherReport.com the following day that his discharge was “basically paperwork.”

His first sergeant “passed on the advice to refrain from more internet activity,” Moran wrote. “She knows I cannot do that, because I want to end this crisis. For my family, and for the Constitution and my country, and for B. Obama”

He said he tried to resign several times from the Air Force, but his first sergeant wouldn’t allow it. Moran also said he was removed from his position after a coworker complained that he asked a doctor in his unit about her Muslim faith.

“My conscience is violated,” he said. “I feel like I’m supporting the flag of whatever those Islamic countries are and the rainbow flag and not the red, white and blue. That’s not the kind of people I want to be associated with.”

Here’s the aforementioned YouTube video and it’s every bit as tragic as you might suspect. This idiot is… just an idiot. That’s all you can say about him. He’s an inconsequential twit practically guaranteeing that he’ll never hold a job again. It’s one thing to post pictures of yourself with a lampshade on your head on Facebook, quite another to do this. Who would do a Google search on Mr. Moran and think “This is the bloke I’m gonna hire”?

Good luck in life, Daryn, you’re going to fucking need it as dumb as you are, pal. His wife probably wants to strangle this fool.

If you enjoy listening to crazy people who aren’t very intelligent talking nonsense, this is a classic of sorts…
 

 
But it just gets worse, here’s the Uncle Ruckus “Dr.” James David Manning interview that Moran did. Oh my! Towards the end, he advocates that all the birthers and Christians move to Texas and live under the constitution and not, of course, under Obama’s Islamic tyranny and shariah law and stuff.
 

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
Ricky Perry supporter Alice Patterson believes ‘demons’ control Democratic Party!


 
Texas governor Rick Perry seems to really go out of his way to associate himself with complete fruitcakes. There’s a curious item at Right Wing Watch today about zany churchlady Alice Patterson, one of Perry’s “church mobilizers” for his “The Response” prayer rally. Patterson works on getting African-Americans interested in the Republican party (good luck!) and is the author of a book about her career titled Bridging the Racial and Political Divide: How Godly Politics Can Transform a Nation.

Kyle Mantyla, the author of the post, is reading Patterson’s book and found this astonishing tidbit about how she came to believe that the Democratic Party is “an invisible network of evil comprising an unholy structure,”(i.e. controlled by demons) when she was listening to a sermon by Charles D. Pierce. (Pierce author of Prayers That Outwit the Enemy and the recent book, Time to Defeat the Devil).

As Chuck described ‘Saul Structures,’ my thoughts raced to politics. “Oh my God, Chuck is describing the Democratic Party!” This was the first time I’d ever considered that an evil structure could be connected to and empowered by a political party ... One strong fallen angel cannot wreak havoc on an entire nation by himself. He needs a network of wicked forces to restrain the Church and to deceive the masses. Unlike the Holy Spirit, who is everywhere at once and can speak to millions of people simultaneously, the devil can only be in one place at a time. By himself Satan would be totally ineffective, but in cooperation with other powers of darkness he erects structures to deceive and manipulate entire nations ... At the time I was listening to Chuck Pierce in Louisiana, I hadn’t given any thought at all to strongholds in political parties. If I had ever thought about it, of course, it would have made sense, but it was new information. As Chuck’s words began to sink in, I asked the “Lord, Father, what is the demonic structure behind the Democratic Party?”

Incidentally, it doesn’t look like Perry’s day of prayer and “atonement” for America is getting much traction:  According to Wonkette:

“[O]nly 8,000 tragic souls have signed up for Perry’s “The Response” rally on Saturday, which is mathematically many less than the 71,000 or so people that fit in the gigantic football stadium where he’s holding it. Has America suddenly lost its appetite for asking God to solve its problems? Did an entire day of Rick Perry weeping and speaking in tongues while a cabal of hate-mongering evangelical pastors grown in jars under Pat Buchanan’s bed fling spittle full of damnation and hellfire at everyone just sound like a little too much fun?”

 

 

Written by Richard Metzger | Discussion
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