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Tampon-waving former Republican Senate candidate makes a fool of herself at LGBT rights hearing

Kathleen Tonn, a failed, former Republican U.S. Senate candidate who gained infamy briefly for displaying her “gift” of speaking in tongues, decided to wave a tampon around as she addressed city officials in Anchorage, Alaska, last night in a nonsensical anti-gay rights rant. Tonn carried a briefcase full of props into to the meeting of the Anchorage assembly. She pulled a Bible from her case and said “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. You like my trumpet? It’s a sound heard around the world.”

She then continued (via Raw Story):

“Since one of my brethren introduced the King James Bible, since I represent the Lord Jesus Christ the great I am, I’m going to add to your public document and your public record from the public document of the great I am,” Tonn told baffled officials.

“Starting with, oh my — a tampon,” she said, pulling a feminine hygiene product from between the pages of her Bible. “Reminds me that little girls in pubescence get periods — female girls.”

Tonn, who is probably best known for a video she posted online showing herself fully clothed and speaking in tongues in a sauna, then angrily read a lengthy passage from the Second Epistle of Peter describing God’s wrathful judgment against Sodom and Gomorrah.

“Now, since you want to create some ordinance to avoid discrimination for members of our community who engage in, I perceive, unhealthy, ungodly behavior, you might want to consider creating an ordinance for one who speaks in tongues.”

Or perhaps summoning a van where people wearing all white uniforms bring you a nice comfy straightjacket and forcibly medicate you?

Dick Traini, the assembly chairman finally said “Ma’am, your time is up. Thank you for your testimony.”

The video after the jump. It’s a doozy!

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
‘God is dead’: Piss yourself funny ‘short versions’ of Republican Presidential announcements

For the past few weeks I have been emailing friends links to YouTube editing genius Vic Berger’s “trash compactor” cuts of Republican Presidential campaign announcement speeches. I have laughed myself senseless at these things. They get funnier with repeated viewings. He really knows how to highlight the absurdity of these events (like the Jeb Bush one with the guy beating his “Jeb! sticks”—what would you call ‘em?—behind the candidate. I found this screamingly funny in a Tim & Eric kinda way).

Hard to say which is the best. They’re all different and each one is a gem. Stay with the Donald Trump clip, I thought it took a little longer to ramp up than the others did, but once it gets going, Berger takes it someplace you probably won’t expect.


More after the jump…

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
‘God don’t like ugly’: Confederate flag parade in Georgia goes hilariously WRONG!

This had me on the floor laughing and crying, not the least because of the hilarious commentary coming from behind the camera which predicts what’s to come. But what happens at the end is just too, too perfect. Thank god for smartphones or else we wouldn’t be laughing about these dipsy doodles and their instant karma.

This is less than two minutes long, watch the entire thing and know that your time will be well-rewarded.

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Furious idiot rails at NBC affiliate for changing its peacock logo to the ‘colors of gays’
01:37 pm


low IQ bufoonery

If you were paying any attention to the news on Friday, the big day when the Supreme Court handed down its decision banning state-level curbs on gay marriage, thus making gay marriage legal in all 50 states, it seemed that everything was coming up rainbows, from the White House and Niagara Falls to Disney World and One World Trade Center, and that’s not even mentioning approximately 57% of the user icons on my Facebook feed, and I’m betting yours as well.

Of course, the ruling elicited, in addition to unmeasured outpourings of joy and exultation, plenty of expressions of feckless, petulant resistance from those who are not on board, or not on board yet, with the concept of gay marriage. Starting with the Justices themselves, Justice Scalia just about blew a gasket, claiming that now the United States “does not deserve to be called a democracy” (?!) and Chief Justice Roberts, curiously, wrung his hands over the fact that the “the proponents of same-sex marriage” had “lost, and lost forever ... the opportunity to win the true acceptance that comes from persuading their fellow citizens of the justice of their cause.”

As if it were the responsibility of oppressed people to go without their fundamental rights so that ........ bigots can have some kind of edifying teachable moment? That’s the best I can do with it. Today it was reported that Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton is now insisting that county clerks in Texas have the right to refuse to issue marriage licenses to gay couples if the clerk has a religious objection to same-sex marriage, which frankly ushers in a bizarre new chapter in legal theory (“I’m sorry, I can’t serve you alcohol at this bar, I’m a Muslim…...”).

Anyway, of all the spittle produced in behalf of monolithically hetero weddings, my favorite is probably the bit of outrage produced by Don Stair, most likely a resident of Arkansas, who, confronted with images of celebratory rainbows everywhere, decided to reach out and let a local TV affiliate know that he disagreed with their choice to join the bandwagon and switch to a rainbow logo. The problem is, the channel in question was KARK, an affiliate of NBC, and their logo is a rainbow peacock, exactly the same as it has been for literally decades.

Here was Stair’s message, on Facebook, as displayed by KARK:

(Screenshot via KARK 4 News on Facebook)
With admirable economy, KARK responded to its viewer’s outrage in the following manner:

The NBC peacock logo has actually been around since 1956, predating even Ellen DeGeneres, the Village People, Stonewall, and Dan Savage. Soon enough, some of KARK’s more liberal viewers joined in to make fun of Stair:




via Addicting Info

Posted by Martin Schneider | Leave a comment
On the wrong side of history: Scenes from a South Carolina pro-Confederate flag rally

Fulfilling my obligations as Dangerous Minds’ Senior Southern Affairs correspondent, I wrote last week about the deadly church shooting in Charleston which took the lives of Cynthia Marie Graham Hurd, Susie Jackson, Ethel Lee Lance, Depayne Middleton-Doctor, Clementa C. Pinckney, Tywanza Sanders, Daniel Simmons, Sharonda Coleman-Singleton, and Myra Thompson. That article examined the whirlwind of events that took place in the week following the murders, most notably Governor Nikki Haley and several flip-flopping Republican lawmakers calling for the removal of the Confederate battle flag from the SC statehouse grounds.

In the few days since, there have been several newsworthy events related to the shooting, the white-supremacist ideology behind it, and the Confederate flag issue. Friday saw President Obama give a moving eulogy for slain South Carolina State Senator Clementa Pinckney, which included a pitchy, but truly tear-jerking rendition of “Amazing Grace” sung by the POTUS himself. On Saturday, activist and fearless badass, Bree Newsome, in an inspiring display of civil disobedience, shimmied the 30 foot SC statehouse flagpole and removed the Confederate flag before being arrested by State Troopers. Also, in the past week a string of nighttime fires have hit at least six predominantly black churches in Southern states.

Saturday morning, June 27, just a few hours after Bree Newsome’s act of civil disobedience, a rally was held at the SC statehouse, organized by supporters of the Confederate flag, expressing their desire to keep the antiquated banner flying in front of the seat of South Carolina government. In contrast to a rally held last week calling for the removal of the Confederate flag from the statehouse grounds which attracted nearly 2000 people, Saturday’s pro-flag rally attracted approximately 50 self-professed “history scholars.”

June 27th South Carolina statehouse flag rally. All photos by Bickel.
A Facebook post listed the rally as taking place between 10:00 am and 4:00 pm. I snapped photos between 10:30 and 11:00 am. There was relatively little media covering the “event.” The flag supporters dispersed later in the day when both a rainstorm and about 50 members of the “Better Consciousness Foundation,” a group comprised of leaders from the Bloods, Folk Nation (G.D.N), and the Crips, organized for social justice, arrived on the scene.

Here are my photos from the “Save the Flag” rally. Click on the thumbnail to see a larger version. The turnout was so adorably pathetic, you almost feel sorry for them. As we say in South Carolina, “bless their hearts.”

Fittingly lonesome visual statement on the “keep the flag” camp. Click on image for larger version.

A man, identified by onlookers as “maybe Katt Williams’ cousin” displays his Southern pride.

The protesters went to great lengths to frame themselves as non-racists. This lady yelled to reporters at the scene, “I bet y’all won’t report this: I had dinner with a black man last night!” She then said, I shit you not, “some of my best friends are black people.” A man to her right chimed in that he was willing to bet it was a great dinner because “black people know how to cook.”

In all probability, you is.

Continues after the jump…

Posted by Christopher Bickel | Leave a comment
America’s religious ‘leaders’ make fools of themselves in the ‘Reefer Madness’ of anti-gay docs

And they all think you’re a dick, Mike…

With the Supreme Court hearing arguments today on gay marriage, it seemed like the perfect time to post this extended trailer from Light Wins, a goofball anti-gay rights documentary produced by Janet Porter, who is a weekly columnist for WorldNetDaily and the author of the demurely titled book, The Criminalization of Christianity (Gee, I wonder what that’s about?). Porter is a believer in “dominion” theology, the idea that Christians are duty bound to wrest complete control from non-believers over every aspect of political life. To bring about the return of Christ, of course!

I absolutely could spend the next 45 minutes coming up with all manner of insulting epithets and nasty things to say about the fucking idiots—including GOP presidential contenders Mike Huckabee and Rand Paul—who took part in this… thing—and it might even be fun, but it would also be utterly pointless. These people discredit themselves and the American/Republican form of Christianity they practice with every second of their onscreen time. It’s wall-to-wall DUMB. They don’t need me, or anyone else, to point out how ridiculous they are.

But I will say this: If you could go back in time to the Salem witch trials and do a documentary about what happened, it would be assholes just like David Barton, Louie Gohmert and Phyllis Schlafly who would be clamoring to inflict their stupidity on your audience (luckily they can’t burn anybody at the stake in these more enlightened times.). Clearly these folks do not realize how much they BOOST the cause of gay civil rights EVERY TIME they open their mouths! Not like there’s a snowball’s chance in Hell that level of self-awareness would shut any of ‘em up, I’m just sayin’...

Phil Robertson, thinking…
Yep. If these people are what America’s version of Christianity sees as its moral leaders… in a sense, all I can say is “Hey… great!” Ten years ago, it used to be that the sight of someone like Tony Perkins on TV made me steaming mad, but the distance from the Bush administration to today seems very, very vast. Today Perkins is scarcely even shown respect on these shows, just last weekend, Bob Schieffer (who’s retiring and hilariously called it exactly like he saw it) took careful pains to make sure that the Face the Nation viewership knew that he just didn’t like this guy very much or have any respect for him. At one point Tony Perkins and his icky ilk held the power, now he and they, just look like yesterday’s bigots.

‘memba her?

Light Wins, of course, casts this matter as a fight of good against evil. In doing so, it makes itself the perfect unintentional time capsule of the moment we’re living in. No really, it sums up everything about America at this pivotal moment in our history, not just the gay civil rights and persecuted Christianist angles, but how America truly is turning into two nations. Not a Christian vs. secular nation, or merely conservative vs. liberals either. It’s something greater than that, what I like to think of as “the Great IQ stratification.” Smart people vs. dumb people. What’s really going on is becoming starkly obvious at this point, don’t you think?

The participants in Light Wins will not be seen very kindly by history and no one in it is ever going to become President, either.

Here’s the nine-minute long trailer. (If you can’t get enough, there’s also the half-hour version.)

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Republican idiot wants to ban genetically engineered glow-in-the-dark humans

The serene face of a man with absolutely NOTHING on his mind!

If you live in the Georgia district represented by Republican Rep. Tom Kirby, rest assured that your government, via Mr. Kirby’s zany style of “leadership,” is “getting out in front of” the growing problem of genetically engineered glowing human beings. That’s right, Rep. Kirby introduced a bill in the state legislature, er… preemptively banning the mixing of human and for instance, jellyfish embryos. Forget about roads, schools, good jobs, that kind of shit, this is a real problem… or is it? Even Mr. Kirby himself isn’t so sure…

He told WSB-TV:

“I’ve had people tell me it is but I have not verified that for sure,” state Rep. Tom Kirby (R) told WSB-TV. “It’s time we either get in front of it or we’re going to be chasing our tails.”

Look at him. Look at that dumb Republican face on him. He looks like he DOES have a tail.

You could file this away with all the dipsy-doodles who want to stamp out sharia law in South Carolina, but that would be missing out on the special stupid that Mr. Kirby brings to the (grand, old) party. This is even a lower IQ fear than something like the Agenda 21 “thing.”

Kirby posted this on his website regarding his “Ethical treatment of Embryos” bill:

We in Georgia are taking the lead on this issue.  Human life at all stages is precious including as an embryo.  We need to get out in front of the science and technology, before it becomes something no one wants.  The mixing of Human Embryos with Jellyfish cells to create a glow in the dark human, we say not in Georgia.  This bill is about protecting Human life while maintaining good, valid research that does not destroy life.

Researchers have been able to splice jellyfish embryos with genetic material from rabbits, mice, cats, pigs and rhesus monkeys for well over a decade, this isn’t new, but the belief that science is trying—currently—to build “a glow-in-the-dark human” as Kirby puts it, is.

Like where did this idiot hear about this “problem,” huh? AN ALL CAPS EMAIL FORWARDED BY HIS GRANDPA? Radio frequencies only he can hear? An Alex Jones-wannabe’s podcast, perhaps? An old coot in a bar outside of Atlanta? He practically comes right out and admits in the clip below that he has no idea what he’s talking about.

Roads, schools, good jobs… or this cartoon idiocy?

Buffoons like Tom Kirby get elected because… people vote for them and for no other reason.

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
God (apparently) has big plans for the kooky Christian Monster Energy drink conspiracy theory lady!

She’s baaacckk. Already? Remember the Christian Monster Energy drink satanic conspiracy theory lady from last week? Well…improbably (or not so improbably) she’s back on our radar screens again.

This time Christine Weick was caught on video disrupting a Muslim prayer service being held at the National Cathedral on Friday, November 14th.

She told conservative Christian conspiracy theory website WorldNetDaily that God got her past security and that she hid in the bathroom praying over and over again before she realized that she had become “invisible.” When the Imam called for prayer Weick stood up and shouted:

“Jesus Christ died on that cross. He is the reason we are to worship only Him. Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior,” she said. “We have built …allowed you your mosques in this country. Why don’t you worship in your mosques and leave our churches alone? We are a country founded on Christian principles.”

She immediately heard voices in the crowd yelling for security.

One might suppose that Ms. Weick has been hearing voices for some time now.

She worried that she’d flub her carefully rehearsed lines and look like an idiot, but believes “it didn’t happen that way”—contrary to the videotaped evidence!

So this is not Weick’s first or even second brush with notoriety, it is (at least) her third—she got a Slushie thrown in her face in front of a news crew on Mother’s Day as she held a sign reading, “Thank your mom today for not being gay!”—we just didn’t know her name until now. In the sub-Drudge reader sector of wingnuts within wingnuts, Weick, who lives out of her car and has authored the book Explain This! A Verse by Verse Explanation of the Book of Revelation, is already being held up as a Christian martyr “hero” and not someone who needs to be fucking medicated, stat.

She claims that it was a “thumbs up” from a “strange” clapping woman along her 400 mile drive from Tennessee to the nation’s capitol that she took as a sign from God convincing her that she was doing the right thing. Weick’s husband apparently divorced her over her goofy beliefs. More from WND (where the comments are pure mental midget genius!):

“It was a situation in my life, how God yanked every anchor in my life over the last five years, just everything that would keep a normal woman, a normal mother, at home just got yanked out from under me,” she said. “I have a son and a daughter, and they disowned me. I took a stand against gay marriage and I lost them. That is my heartache. And it hurts me so much. And I wonder what they think now when they see me on the news.”

Weick said she doesn’t know what her next “assignment” will be, but she knows now she can tackle almost anything.

“I told the Lord last night, ‘OK, you can take me now,’ but I don’t know,” she said. “I think He may have other plans for me, per Jeremiah 29: 11.”

Oh Lord, please do not take her. Christine Weick is one of the very BEST Christians in America. Maybe THE best. What a fine example of a good Christian to point to (at?). Time will tell what plans God has for this zany lady, but all I can say is watch out Victoria Jackson, you’ve got fierce competition in the Christian dingbat department.

It also occurred to me that wacky William Tapley, who bills himself as the “co-prophet” of the End Times, has never really seemed to find his duet partner. What if it’s Christine? Let’s hope they’re both on Christian Mingle, right? They could make beautiful music together!

Via Christian Nightmares

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Rightwinger wants South to form conservative nation with no gays or Hispanics and call it ‘Reagan’!

Former Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush speechwriter, Pentagon official, novelist, TV commentator, columnist and idiot Douglas MacKinnon appeared yesterday on The Janet Mefferd Show to promote his new book, The Secessionist States of America: The Blueprint for Creating a Traditional Values Country . . . Now.

It seems that MacKinnon, who you might see on Fox News from time to time, was inspired by the recent referendum in Scotland to consider what might happen in America in a similar(ish) circumstance, after a recent poll found that nearly one quarter of us would like to secede (although not necessarily for the same reasons).

According to The Raw Story:

[MacKinnon] told the religious conservative host that southern states – starting with Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina – should leave the United States so they can implement a right-wing Christian system of government.

MacKinnon envisions other states joining, but he hopes to leave out Texas because “there have been a number of incursions into Texas and other places from some of the folks in Mexico.”

Sure the Confederate states got a bit of a bad rap back in the Civil War days, but hey, that was then and this is now, right?

MacKinnon told his host that the Southern states had “seceded legally” and “peacefully” before the Civil War and that it was President Lincoln who was in the wrong. The rightwing pundit also recommended that the newly-formed country be dubbed “Reagan,” in honor of his old boss.

Although slavery was not mentioned during the program, he’s got a major problem with gay civil rights. MacKinnon took up the “persecuted Christian” canard with a passion, declaring:

“If you do believe in traditional values, if you are a Christian, if you are evangelical, if you do believe in the golden rule, then you’re seeing all of this unravel before our eyes daily,” he complained.

Nope, no gayz need apply for a visa to “Reagan,” and you doggone Lat-teen-o-types, apparently you ain’t welcome either (hence the Texas snub).

Here’s some excerpts from the interview as posted by Right Wing Watch:


Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
#RepublicansArePeopleToo campaign is a masterpiece of bad marketing, a rich tapestry of idiocy

Who the fuck didn’t see this one coming?

The general answer, of course seems pretty obvious—the perpetually clueless and tone deaf Republican Party—but the person in particular, apparently, to blame for this completely idiotic SCREAMING OUT FOR MERCILESS RIDICULE campaign is one of Mitt Romney’s former advertising guru “Mad Men” (and we all know how well that turned out), a Texan named Vinny Minchillo.

Minchillo hopes that his new “grassroots” campaign, on Facebook and on Twitter with the hashtag #imarepublican, will make it harder for people to demonize Republicans, as he told The New Republic:

“On social media, I’ve been called every name in the book,” Minchillo said. “It’s become socially acceptable to talk about Republicans in the most evil terms possible and that doesn’t seem right. We wanted to do this to really remind people that Republicans are friends, neighbors and do things that maybe you wouldn’t expect them to do.

“People, I’m afraid, think that Republicans spend their days huddling over a boiling cauldron throwing in locks of Ronald Reagan’s hair. … We thought let’s get out there and show who Republicans really are: regular folks interested in making the world a better place.”

Minchillo is clearly operating under the delusion that there’s something sly, clever or tongue-in-cheek about what he’s doing. I wonder how he’s going to feel when he watches Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Bill Maher, John Oliver, every pundit, Twitter, Facebook AND THE ENTIRE INTERNET trash this nonsense like it’s the stupidest thing anyone has ever thought up?


See how that works, Vinny?

MEMO TO THE GOP: If you need an advertising and social media campaign to convince a HUGE swath of people who already think you’re a bunch of fuckin’ assholes that you’re really not fuckin’ assholes, perhaps you’ve got a larger problem on your hands? If you have to TELL other people that you’re just like them, perhaps their perception that you’re not just like them is justified because you wouldn’t really need to point that out in the first place, now, would you?

It isn’t easy being a Republican these days.

There are people who will stick up for Genghis Khan before they’ll defend a Republican. (“Genghis was just misunderstood.”)

We love political discourse. We encourage political discourse. But when did “Republican” become a dirty word?

Here’s the deal: before you post another bullying comment, think about this:

Republicans are people, too.

And you know what? Some of them don’t even have tiny shriveled penises or require motorized scooters to haul their asses around. Many Republicans aren’t racists! Some of them are under the age of 65 and are not angry white males who watch Fox News all day long and shit in Depends diapers. WHICH IS EXACTLY THE PERCEPTION THAT THIS RISIBLE CAMPAIGN IS REINFORCING! All anyone is talking about is “the problem” that this is supposed to be combating!

If this isn’t the equivalent of a gigantic Las Vegas marquee-sized “KICK ME” sign on the back of the GOP, I don’t know what would be.

It’s the most ridiculous thing in… days to come out of the fetid swamp of what passes for ideas in the Republican Party. If hapless Vinny saw this goofy campaign as a way for him to jockey for position for the 2016 Presidential race, Vinny, I hate to tell ya, brah, you done goofed. This is the worst!

Here are a few choice comments taken from what are probably the most consistently intelligent forums on any political or news blog, Talking Points Memo. Just some random recent comments, I’m not digging deep for any of this:

I believe all Muslims are suspicious and should be rounded up into internment camps. #ImARepublican

Why, yes, my tattoos include swastikas #ImARepublican

“Redskin” is a term of respect, honor, tradition. #ImARepublican

My father punched me when I was a kid, and I TURNED OUT FINE! Right? RIGHT?! #ImARepublican

I am stupid, evil, and utterly devoid of humanity! #IamARepublican

I prattle on endlessly about the necessity for common citizens like me to own guns in case the government infringes upon the people’s rights, and then I vote for referenda that infringe upon people’s rights. #ImARepublican

Of course I’m a hypocrite. #ImARepublican

Disenfranchising minority voters is OK by me! After all, they’re not white like I am. #ImARepublican

I don’t think everyone deserves health care. #ImARepublican

My party will soon be demographically insignificant. #ImARepublican

I pledge allegiance to the Kochs… #ImARepublican

You get the idea. Here’s my favorite because it communicates SO MUCH:

I think this guy should be making decisions that affect millions. #IAmARepublican


It’s a mite (Mitt?) early for the memes to be showing up in any real number yet, give it a few hours (or even a few more minutes), but the ridicule on Twitter for the #ImARepublican hashtag is pretty good already.

And here’s the motherload of LOL, the video. You’ll note that it’s important for them to have you know that Republicans shop at Trader Joe’s(?), use Macs(?) and “have feelings, too”(?)—and yet there are apparently no members of the LGBT or Muslim communities in the GOP whatsoever. What. there were NO pics of fabulous drag queens, buffed WeHo boys or anyone with a beard and turban in the stock photo database?

For some reason that video reminded me of this classic Tom Tomorrow cartoon:


Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Fire Ted: Make Ted Nugent feel some pain! C’mon it’s fun!

Ted Nugent. Trophy hunter. Racist moron. Low I.Q. buffoon. Piss-and-shit-in-his-pants draft dodger. Tea party patriot…

After three casinos on Indian reservations cancelled Ted Nugent’s scheduled appearances recently due to his frequent offensive and insensitive public statements, the Nuge, to no one’s surprise, decided to escalate matters by calling Native American protesters “unclean vermin.” He seemed proud of having offended them.

On Thursday, Nugent vented again on his Facebook page about protesters from the United Urban Warrior Society:

WE ARE ON OUR JET NOW HEADING FOR TOLEDO RIBFEST JAM AFTER AN INSANE INCREDIBLE OUT OF BODY ULTRAROCKOUT at the Full Throttle Saloon in Sturgis SD! Simply astonishing gig! 4 stinkyass unclean dipshit protestors that admitted they hate me AND ALL WHITE PEOPLE THAT STOLE THEIR LAND BULLSHIT!!

See, it aint me they hate, they hate all Americans that produce & live the American Dream. Simply insane!

Or so says Sarah Palin with an electric guitar and loincloth.

A “Ted Nugent Rib-Off” Facebook page was set up to encourage turnout for a protest at Nugent’s concert tomorrow night in Ohio:

Sure, Nugent has a right to free expression under the First Amendment. But no matter what your political views, every citizen also has a right and in a democracy, a civic responsibility to protest bigotry and intolerance. That’s why we are urging everyone to add their voice, speak out, and join in protest of the appearance of this man and his vile stream of hate speech in our community!

Good on them. Toledo has some fine citizens. Who needs this jerk?

There’s also been some movement online to pressure various concert halls, venues and music festivals to cancel Ted Nugent appearances, or to simply not book him at all. Apparently many people booking these shows are quite unaware of Nugent’s penchant for xenophobic, sexist and racist comments, and in a sense, I applaud their innocence and ignorance of this man, because it’s quite reasonable to ignore such a malignant asshat, right? That’s why signing a petition like this—it’s sent to places booking him—actually matters.

If you’re booking a hall in a small town and you get a whiff of the sulphur trailing behind Ted Nugent, why would you want to risk embarrassing your town or losing your livelihood over a fucking loose cannon asshole like Ted Nugent? What positive effect can that possibly have on your career? The downside, for anyone with half a brain is… well, obvious. A Texas town paid toxic Ted $16,000 not to show up at its July 4th fireworks after receiving complaints over his scheduled appearance.

Even shock jocks should view this man with extreme caution, this much seems obvious by now. He’s a perpetual motion machine of what you probably don’t need to be associated with professionally. Just ask Mitt Romney!

Ted Nugent can be hurt—in his bank account, where it will affect him the most—if venues just say “no” to doing business with the guy the same way they’d refuse to do business with the Ku Klux Klan or a NAMBLA convention. Ted Nugent, he’s a pernicious herpes sore on the asshole of American culture—the living, mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging cave man embodiment of “Idiocracy” if ever there was one—won’t you have some fun by signing this petition and then posting it directly to Uncle Ted’s Facebook page? (He personally reads everything. You can picture him getting enraged behind his keyboard like a bipolar bigot on Breitbart in each of his replies. He got into it once with my wife and when she easily bested him in an argument—even his fans agreed with her point—humiliated, like a little baby he deleted the entire thread.)

They let you make a comment when you sign. I encourage you to be creative and as emasculating as is possible and then to spread it around to all your friends

It’s First Amendment vigilante justice, the kind you’d think the Nuge himself might even appreciate if he personally wasn’t the helpless target. Ted Nugent can go suck on his own little machine gun. Not a shot will be fired—just Ted!

The reason Ted Nugent’s name is seldom seen on “100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time” lists isn’t because he’s a toxic bigot, it’s because he’s a shitty musician making terrible music for morons. Here’s Ted Nugent’s one good song, “Journey to the Center of Your Mind” performed with the Amboy Dukes. He’s been losing IQ points since this moment, the (sole) musical high point of his overlong career:

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Meet The Deadraisers: Christian group claims it can raise the dead

Now despite what you might be led to believe from the photograph evidence above, these fellas are not some over the hill ‘N Sync wannabes who never made the big time scene and who are now improbably still together and performing their shitty middle-aged boy band act (“Seventeen years of solid gold!”) at a cheap casino in Indio, CA.

Neither are the Deadraisers, as they call themselves, a gang of clean-cut middle-aged Grateful Dead-loving bikers… Mild ones? Maybe they’re Deadhead cyclists?

Nope, you’re not even close: In earlier centuries the activity that these gentlemen are principally involved with—the raising of the dead—would have seen them burned at the stake as witches. They used to call that “necromancy” and it could get ya killed. Now it looks like something that might get you a reality TV show?

These dudes don’t just want to follow Jeebus with all their hearts, they want those cool Matthew 10:8 zombie-making superpowers!

Tyler Johnson, author of How To Raise The Dead and Stories of the Supernatural: Finding God in Walmart and Other Unlikely Places and the founder of the Dead Raising Team, leads the group who pray for miracles and supernatural resurrections in hospitals and morgues at the request of bereaved families. They claim to have personally witnessed (or believe they “caused” I suppose) eleven people rising from the dead, but yet have no credible evidence they can cite to back this up.

When you capture one of them there “miraculous” resurrections on video, boys, then I’ll take your latterday Lazarus shenanigans seriously. Until then, I’ll just file this under “Delusional” (or worse).

Via Christian Nightmares

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Not the best kind of product placement: Teen f*cks a Hot Pocket® on Vine, becomes famous
01:19 pm


low IQ bufoonery

Lock up your Pop-Tarts®...

We all know that teenagers aspire to be famous, like it’s some kind of Warholian birthright in the age of social media, but with the barrier of entry being so low these days, just about anyone can actually achieve fame, if only fleetingly. It doesn’t take a lot of effort per se, or even any discernable talent, or the barest hint of charisma… just a gimmick.

Take for example Thot Pocket, aka @VERSACEPOPTARTS, the… erm… whippersnapper The Daily Dot is calling a “Twitter folk hero.” What did he do to deserve to called a folk hero you ask? Well, first he got a little famous for violating a box of Pop-Tarts® and posting a video of himself doing so on Vine. (Thot shot the video himself in case you were wondering, it was a selfie.)

Talk about product placement, this is more like product debasement.

Capitalizing on his newfound notoriety, Thot had another thought: He tweeted to his followers that when he got 420 retweets of his tart-popping production, he would make brand new works of food pr0n. First he’d fuck a Hot Pocket®, then he’d a do donut and then he’d get jiggy with some Jell-O. No surprise, he got those 420 retweets and promptly made a video of himself violating a microwavable pastry and posted this to his Vine account, too.

Soon thereafter, Thot lost his Vine account, but he was proudly defiant:

No, no one can take that away from you, Thot… though who would dare try?

According to The Daily Dot, Thot Pocket has now also lost his Twitter account. Still, I doubt this will be the last we hear of him.

But who am I to speak: I once showcased (inflicted?) Rocketboy, the self-described half human/half cat “intergalactic super-hero” who stuck his dingus in a can of creamed corn in an adult film, on network British television. Here’s a moment from the old Disinformation series, if you dare…

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
The most racist preacher in America?

Is Brother Donny Reagan of the Happy Valley Church of Jesus Christ in Johnson City, Tennessee, the “most racist pastor in America”? This is what The American Jesus blog is wondering. Surely he’s one of the dumbest.

Brother Reagan begins his remarks in the video below by informing his congregation that he is probably “going to make some people mad.” He’s apparently not self-aware enough to realize that some other people are going to simply point and laugh at him, but I believe it’s safe to say that self-awareness is not a quality the good Lord bestowed upon Donny boy here in any appreciable amount.

“Today we have so much fussing and stewing about this segregation of white and colored and everything. Why don’t they leave it alone? Let it be the way God made it.”

Wait, what?

“There is a move in the message, of blacks marrying whites, whites marrying blacks. And folks think that is alright, but you know, my God still has nationalities outside the city.’

“Nationalities outside the city”! I LOL’d at that line. Brother Donny’s congregation, clearly consisting of low IQ buffoons like himself, shout “Amen!” as Reagan reads from his prepared remarks. I wonder how these intellectually challenged folks vote, don’t you? [Me, neither, that doesn’t even qualify as a rhetorical question does it?]

“Hybreeding, hybreeding, oh how terrible. They hybreed the people. You know it’s a big molding pot. I’ve got hundreds of precious colored friends that’s borned again Christians. But on this line of segregation, hybreeding the people. What, tell me what fine cultured, fine Christian colored woman would want her baby to be a mulatto by a white man? No sir, it’s not right.”

At 2:19, Brother Donny makes an honest admission:

“Now friends I’m not very smart.”

Um, that’s right you inbred cracker fuck calling for MORE INBREEDING!!!!

DNA doesn’t work that way, Bro.

Dumb Donny goes on to say:

“If God wanted a man brown, black, white, whatever color he wanted him, that God’s creation. That’s the way he wanted it.”

Uh, you heard the man… As the Firesign Theater once said “Good lord, a stiff idiot is the worst kind.”

Via Christian Nightmares

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
Google slaps ‘reported phishing’ warning on idiotic Republican scam website

This is what you get when you try to visit

After the word got out earlier this week about their pathetic scheme to mimic Democratic congressional candidates’ campaign websites in a not-so-clever effort to trick would-be Democrat campaign contributors into donating to the GOP instead, the National Republican Congressional Committee has had to start offering refunds to donors who’d been misled by their scammy sites (and true to form, they are hilariously impugning the honesty, in advance, of anyone who’d dare request a refund! They simply cannot help themselves!)

Did they not think this would end poorly for them?

You have to wonder who it was that approved such a thing and WHAT they thought they would gain from doing something like this? You also have to wonder how many Democrats were fooled and gave money to the NRCC and IF IT WAS WORTH IT for the Republicans to look like total dickheads to just about everyone for perpetrating such a goofy move. No matter what your political affiliation might be, this simply makes them appear incredibly stupid, delusionally incompetent, and there very well could prove to be legal ramifications if this activity would be considered fraudulent in the states where it occurred.

To add insult to this bumbling self-inflicted injury, Google has put a “reported phishing” warning on at least one of the Republican scam websites (the one targeting Alex Sink of Florida.)

And of course this information is now being spread across the Internet. Nice work there, Republicans!

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
If you can’t beat ‘em, cheat ‘em: Republicans pull shenanigans to confuse voters—then brag about it

H/T Daily Kos

Posted by Richard Metzger | Leave a comment
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