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Strange Japanese illustrations of dogs with huge balls

Tanuki are Japanese racoon dogs. Mischievous looking critters with a dog-like face and the body of a racoon. In ancient Japanese folklore these mammals were viewed as either gods of nature or troublesome yōkai. From the twelfth century on, tanuki were seen as humorous characters on account of their rather large testicles which artists grossly exaggerated for comic effect.

Utagawa Kuniyoshi (1798-1861) was one of the last great masters of the ukiyo-e woodblock prints and paintings. He was famous for his pictures of samurai, animals and mythical creatures. He also created a sideline series of comic pictures depicting tanuki and their giant space hopper-sized gonads.
An ever-expanding nut sack will help you catch fish.
Stay dry in the heaviest of downpours with your scrot-umbrella.
Catch birds in flight with one toss of your ‘tanuki’ scrotum.
More racoon dogs and their monstrous testicles, after the jump…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Grab life by the nuts with these ‘desk balls’
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Nice Balls

Well, now everyone can get a pair…

Think of them as stress balls. Something to help offload anxiety, anger or you know just blow off steam as your boss berates you for something minor and petty. You just smile, absorb his asshattery and imagine squeezing his balls until he shrieks in pain. All in good fun!

Nice Balls is a squeezable pink bawbag. A “pendulous prosthetic supplement” which can be attached to the underside of any work or school desk “in a simple, discreet and efficient manner.” Once in place the user can then squeeze this nut sack to their heart’s content or their hand gets sore…

Nice Balls manufacturer Imagine claim these “balls” swing in a “Euclidean curve” which (apparently) “generates” a sense of relaxation. (Who knew?. Also, Nice Balls people: why a female in the promotional photos?)

Although it’s difficult to understand why someone over the age of 11 would think this is funny (or bring them into the workplace) fascist leader Benito Mussolini used to touch his crown jewels to ward off the evil eye, so maybe there’s something similar going on here?
More balls out fun after the jump…

Posted by Paul Gallagher | Leave a comment
Check out these marbles: Photographer captures the sculptured testicles of antiquity
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Gaze upon the balls of the ancients! Observe their delicate rend’ring from such an indelicate medium! Note the attention to detail! The texture! The asymmetry! The… weightiness?

These photos are from Ingrid Berthon-Moine’s cleverly titled series, “Marbles,” which compiles shots of testicles from classical Greek sculpture—only marble marbles will do. Berthon-Moine did a lot of research on Greek sexuality for the project, and actually answered one of my long-standing questions on ancient art—were the models for these sculptures… really cold? Oddly enough, some counterintuitive idealization of the human form may be the culprit.  Berthon-Moine says:

This interest in ancient classical Greek statuary was prompted by the accuracy of its anatomy, the realism of its stance and the influence it still has on the shape of the male body.

Ancient Greece was a highly masculinist culture. They favoured ‘small and taut’ genitals, as opposed to big sex organs, to show male self-control in matters of sexuality. Today, the modern users as in commerce, cinema, and advertising converted it into a mass commodity telling us about domination and desirability, size matters and the bigger, the better.

Small junk was “in”—how about that? You’ll notice no real shaft in any of the pictures (a few you can even see were even broken off), but you’d like to err on the side of NSFW (or if testes make you testy), I respect that—but if you’re working at a place that would punish you for looking at crops of ancient Greek statues, I suggest you do your damndest to make a career change—someplace that won’t bust your balls, you know?








Via Hyperallergic

Posted by Amber Frost | Leave a comment