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‘Memorial Day 2000’: Disgusting ‘found footage’ classic of drunken hillbilly white trash insanity
05.16.2017
11:05 am
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The front cover of ‘Memorial Day 2000’
 

Memorial Day 2000 is the finest find in the history of found stuff.”—Davy Rothbart, founder of Found Magazine, as quoted on the back of the Memorial Day 2000 VHS cover

Memorial Day 2000 was “discovered” by noise musicians Twig Harper and Carly Ptak of Nautical Almanac at a Michigan yard sale. It’s the low-fi record of a massive hillbilly bender that took place on a campground in Silver Lake State Park, Michigan on Memorial Day weekend of 2000. There’s fire jumping, lots of driving around in the mud, plenty of peeing and puking, (and chanted group puke encouragement), wrasslin’ and even a really severe… er… sewage issue.
 

 
Drop what you are doing and watch this video right now. Grab yourself a tallboy or two of Steel Reserve High Gravity Lager, a Manwich—well maybe not a Manwich, and definitely not sausage—and indulge in the luxuries of this repulsive but FUCKING HILARIOUS fly-on-the-wall experience, as you encounter everyday midwestern white trash indulging in unadulterated racism, misogyny, and booze-fueled debauchery. And of course, there are plenty of candidly soused interviews with the participants. This is Heavy Metal Parking Lot without the glamor of Judas Priest. American Juggalo without the face paint and Faygo. Yep, this is Lord of the Flies on Lake Michigan. What joy-filled mirth awaits you!

Many people discovered this video via Nautical Almanac’s merch table and over the years its legend has grown. Compulsively watchable, in fact, you could say that Memorial Day 2000 is “the fuckin whip shit of all fuckin shitter bongers.” (This will make a little bit more sense after you’ve watched it.) To deem the mighty MD2K NSFW is a laughable understatement. It’s not safe for anything or anyone at any time. Got that?

As you watch, ponder what percentage of these idiot Memorial Day 2000 revelers probably voted for Donald Trump.

Watch—if you dare—after the jump…

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Posted by Bennett Kogon
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05.16.2017
11:05 am
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‘Dazzle Dancin’: Your new favorite best/worst 80’s white people dance video
03.16.2015
08:38 am
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A few years ago I was grabbing stacks of tapes at a video store liquidation sale and managed to stumble upon what would become one of the best single-dollar purchases I’ve ever made. Straight out of the “special interest” section, and directly into your brain, comes Dazzle Dancin’, a direct-to-VHS, cocaine-fueled nightmare of ultra-stiff moves hosted by an out-of-touch, middle-aged, creeposaur. Dazzle Dancin’, as an artifact, is simultaneously dated and timeless.
 

 
In 1984 some genius director hired goofball moron DJ, Rick Dees, of “Disco Duck” fame, to host what is quite possibly the worst instructional dance program ever committed to videotape. Never mind the fact that Dees obviously has no rhythm or dancing ability whatsoever, he’ll certainly be able to carry the show on his winning charisma alone, right? Right?
 

 
Dazzle Dancin’ was to be the first in a series that never made it past the pilot, and you’ll see why. In 1984, it would have been tough to go wrong with a vehicle cashing in on the success of MTV, break-dancing, and Flashdance, but Dazzle Dancin’ manages to get it as wrong as you possibly can.

Despite a diverse cast, the moves in Dazzle Dancin’ are painfully white. Rick Dees’ lone dance move is a sort of disinterested sway that seems to be his go-to, whether he’s learning about “breaking” or “punkin’” or “The ET”—which has to be seen to be believed.

In one segment, Dees meets a group of kids outside of the club who teach him about “street dancing” and perform a (terrible) rap, which inspires the ol’ Rickster to do some “rapping” of his own when he gets back inside the club. Let’s just say rapping is even less of a strong-suit than his dancing.
 

 
Dees has some really bad non-sequitur one-liners in this thing like “hurt me baby, make me write bad checks,” and “I wish I could talk like that guy on the street but I think I spent too much time on the freeway,” (???) and can we talk about that Chess King close-out shirt he’s wearing? Too much.

Intrigued? Of course you are, watch Dazzle Dancin after the jump…

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Posted by Christopher Bickel
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03.16.2015
08:38 am
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Michele Bachmann 2012


 
Looks like crazy eyes has some young fans. Fortunately these two enthusiasts for conservative politics can’t vote…
 

Posted by Richard Metzger
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08.01.2011
12:53 am
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Rich, white and Republican: Are The Young Cons the worst rappers of ALL TIME?

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I realize that this is another one of those, “This smells like shit, smell this” kind of posts, but bear with me, this one is pretty… “good”:

“The Young Cons” are a Dartmouth College “conservative Christian” rap duo comprised of Joshua “Stiltz” Riddle and David “Serious C” Rufful. “The Young Cons” rap about Ayn Rand, Ronald Reagan and Jesus and appear at Tea party rallies and on Fox News. Clearly these rich-kid goofballs, have no sense whatsoever of how they must appear to others outside of their white-bread, er, posse. They must have also completely given up on the idea of ever getting laid again…

“Stilz” and “Serious C” make even James O’Keefe look like… less of a Republican dweeb by comparison (That’s hard to do). These guys totally suck!  You might think this is a joke—and it surely is—but it’s not an intentional joke (or at least I don’t think it is?)

Local Los Angeles Christian radio idiot, Frank Pastore said of them:

“They’re Christian. They’re conservative. And, of course, liberals are going crazy over this. Some of their lyrics are really a hoot.”

A “hoot” huh, Frank? I doubt very much “The Young Cons” are driving many liberals (or anybody else) “crazy.” Most liberals would probably just think they’re fucking idiots, point and laugh at them and then say snarky things about them on their Facebook wall. About all they’re worth…
 

Via Wonkette

Posted by Richard Metzger
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04.06.2011
09:09 pm
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