Butt plug door stop
 

Nipple clamp eyeglass keepers
 

Penis extension handlebar grips
 
More ‘practical uses for sex toys’ after the jump…
 

 
Okay hipsters, what are you waiting for? Macramé, now more than ever!

Could the two girls in the video have grown up to be the disco queens in the photo? I’m not going to be able to shake this. There’s an epic story here. The two great eras of macramé and how two women managed to knot them together without losing their dignity or cool - “They Macraméd Paradise And Put Up A Discotheque.” The book will have a macramé jacket or you can send away for a limited edition tie-dyed macramé cover for your Kindle. Shit , the marketing possibilities are endless. Starting tomorrow you can find me on Kickstarter. Keyword search: Marcramé.
 

 
The way the Rolling Stones classic “Sympathy for the Devil” was developed in the studio is well-known, with an almost real-time documentation (at least it feels like real-time) of the recording sessions shown in Jean-Luc Godard’s 1968 film, One Plus One AKA Sympathy for the Devil. The film featured long, uninterrupted takes of the Stones working the song up in the studio and the number’s basic structure is changed several times over before they finally hit on the sound they want (The rest of the film shows scenes of supposed Black Panthers, newsreel footage of the Vietnam War, pans across a bookstore’s comic, girlie magazine and political book covers and features hefty doses of Marxism and Maoism in the voice-over, this being Godard in the 60s, after all.)

The original sessions took place in Olympic Studios in London, between June 4th to the 10th, 1968. The working title of the song was “The Devil Is My Name.” In the film, the group goes through several iterations of the song, from almost a bluesy, folky ballad (similar to “Jigsaw Puzzle”) to the freaked-out samba it ultimately became. During the session, the words were changed from “who killed Kennedy?” to “who killed the Kennedys?” after the assassination of Robert Kennedy.

Although the song was primarily a Jagger composition, its lyrics inspired by the great Russian novel, The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov, it was Richards who came up with the song’s samba arrangement, playing both bass and lead guitar. The druggy dissolution of Brian Jones is seen unvarnished in Godard’s film, his usefulness in the studio coming to an end (he is not heard on the finished track). Rocky Dijon played the congas, Bill Wyman is heard on maracas, and frequent Stones sideman, Nicky Hopkins is on piano. (In the Godard film, Marianne Faithfull, Anita Pallenberg, Brian Jones, Charlie Watts, producer Jimmy Miller, Wyman and Richards are seen recording backup vocals, but the “whoo whoo” backing vocals were overdubbed in Los Angeles by Miller, Jagger and Richards alone).

Charlie Watts told the authors of 2003’s According to the Rolling Stones: “‘Sympathy’ was one of those sort of songs where we tried everything. The first time I ever heard the song was when Mick was playing it at the front door of a house I lived in in Sussex… He played it entirely on his own… and it was fantastic. We had a go at loads of different ways of playing it; in the end I just played a jazz Latin feel in the style of Kenny Clarke would have played on ‘A Night in Tunisia’ - not the actual rhythm he played, but the same styling.”

The Stones in the studio from Jean Luc-Godard’s One Plus One AKA Sympathy for the Devil. This is all of their bits from the film minus the Maoist sloganeering and Black Power sermonizing of the rest of it.
 

 
After the jump, the isolated tracks…

 
Artist Mari Kasurinen made this nutty My Little Pony version of H.R. Giger’s queen alien which is appropriately named “My Little Alien.”

According to Kasurinen’s Devient Art page, the Xenomorph queen pony is sold.

Via Neatorama

 
If Obama had to release his birth certificate, then why WON’T Mitt Romney release his tax records? (And why the hell haven’t the Democrats made this lingering question into a jaw-breaking, character-defining campaign issue already? It’s so obvious that even a Fox News viewer could understand it).

What is Mitt Romney hiding? I want to know. Don’t you?

Romney claims he will release his 2012 return when he’s “ready,” but the longer he waits, the more the American public is going to demand that he come clean with the exact same information that every other candidate won’t hesitate to provide, several years worth of returns. The way the Romney team is managing public perception of the matter SUCKS and is only serving to stoke the flames of speculation. Is the truth worse? Might be, from the looks of things. That perception, until confirmed or not by release of the returns, is entirely the campaign’s fault.

His own father, Michigan Governor George Romney, famously released TWELVE YEARS of his tax records when he ran for the Presidency in 1968 and yet his son wants to keep his cards close to his chest. Closer than any presidential candidate since the Watergate era? Apparently so. Thus far, Romney has released only ONE complete tax return, from 2010 (“One year could be a fluke, perhaps done for show,” said George Romney in 1968).

What bombshells await? We know about the Swiss bank accounts, the Cayman Island accounts, even the one in Bermuda that surprised Mittens himself… what else is Mitt Romney hiding that his tax returns would bring into the light of day? It’s a burning question.

That the Democrats are thus far failing to turn the heat up a little higher on the issue is yet another missed opportunity on their part: If Obama had to produce his long-form to satisfy the braying asses called the “Birthers,” why can’t we “Taxers” see Mitten’s returns?

Turnabout is fair play, right Republicans?

Asking to see Romney’s tax returns is a far, far more reasonable request than the wingnuts clownishly demanding Obama produce his birth certificate (which he DID do). A demand to see Thurston Howell III’s Mitt Romney’s tax returns , however, has no undercurrent of Tea party racism, either.

And just what did John McCain find in the 23 years of tax returns that his VP vetting team saw? Oh yes, if you don’t recall, Romney provided 23 YEARS worth of his tax returns to the McCain campaign in 2008 and soon afterwards McCain rather unceremoniously dumped the idea of running with Romney, and instead choose Sarah fucking Palin?

Romney’s tax returns must be explosive indeed solely based on the circumstantial evidence this historically pivotal cause-and-effect relationship implies!

It just stands to reason. Sarah Palin? Over Romney? How bad was it?

In 2008, the McCain team got 23 years of Mitt Romney’s tax returns. And now, four years later, we have ONE year, 2010’s return. (“One year could be a fluke, perhaps done for show,” says the Ghost of Romney’s Past…)

I can’t wait to see McCain put on the spot about the matter. He’s been asked before, but he stonewalled. He needs to be pressed a little harder: McCain is a terrible liar (for a Republican) and often even tells the truth when he can’t stop himself. What did John McCain see in Romney’s tax returns that instantly ended any consideration of Romney as his running mate?

And why after that, have all of these 23 years of tax returns been kept under lock and key since 2008?

PS Romney has long claimed that he resigned from Bain Capital in 1999 to lead the winter Olympics in Salt Lake City. He lied about that, as public records (a Massachusetts financial disclosure form Romney filed in 2003) state that he still owned 100% of Bain Capital in 2002! What other lies will Romney be caught in? RELEASE YOUR TAX RETURNS, MITT! WHAT ARE YOU HIDING

Read more:
Where the Money Lives, Vanity Fair’s investigation into Mitt Romney’s off-shore fortune
 

 
“I hope they don’t think we’re a rock ‘n’ roll outfit.”
 
Via Retronaut via My Rare Guitars

 
Hank Williams Jr. should learn to shut his fucking mouth before he puts his foot so far down his throat he’ll dislodge the impacted turd called Ted Nugent that’s lodged in his lower intestinal tract. In a recent interview with Rolling Stone, he accuses President Obama of hating America and in a fit of Tea Party-style paranoia (probably induced by an overdose of chewing tobacco and Jim Beam) fears that the President is out to strip Americans of their Christian names.

Here’s a tidbit of hillbilly wisdom from Bocephus as featured in the RS interview:

On “Keep the Change,” you sing, “I’ll keep my freedom / I’ll keep my guns /  I’ll keep my money / and my religion too/ I will keep my Christian name and you all can keep the change.” What did you mean by that?
Exactly what I said, cousin.

Yeah, but when you talk about your Christian name …
You know, we’ve got a President that does a call to the Koran or Mecca or whatever. That’s what I meant. That’s exactly what I meant. I won’t be changing my name to whatever. That’s exactly what I meant.”

Why do you think he (Obama) hates America?
Oh, you know I don’t know. I don’t know about that but it’s kind of obvious. I guess when you take a tour, a world tour, to apologize for America. He did that, you know?”

Hank Jr. is an asshole with the soul of a nasty drunk.  And if there’s any doubt about that, just listen to the mean-spirited prick recorded in Kansas some time in the early nineties during an alcohol-fueled performance of his ode to guns, booze and pick-up trucks, “Country Boy Can Survive.” This is not the country music of his father. This is music to kick shit by.  
 

 
God is great!

(If there isn’t already a Tumblr for this, someone needs to create one.)

Via Christian Nightmares
 

 
Check out Timewriter’s great new William S. Burroughs audio mix:

A tribute to ‘El Hombre Invisible’. It features some of my favourite readings, to which I’ve added music by John Zorn (from his Burroughs-inspired work), Tod Dockstader, Arne Nordheim and others. Also in the mix are radio recordings and vocal cut-ups by the man himself.

 
Via Exile on Moan Street

 
For the upscale brown bagger, wine-o who has everything, or hipster desperate to burnish his street cred without sacrificing the convenience of a cool sip of Sauvignon Blanc.

Wine’O may look like a run-of-the-mill paper bag, but it¬s really super-strong non-woven fabric that¬s quilted and insulated to keep the chill in your chardonnay. Naturally, it’s reusable - so anytime you need to tote a bottle, it’s in the bag.”

Fred and Friends will be selling these soon in case you want to pick one up for that special grapehead in your life.