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Listen to Paul McCartney’s ‘lost’ experimental Christmas disc for his fellow Beatles from 1965
12.04.2017
10:27 am
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Christmas 1965, Paul McCartney secretly recorded an “album” at his home in London as a present for his fellow bandmates John, George, and Ringo. There were only three discs ever made of this special festive recording, which have since either worn out or disappeared. This is how author Richie Unterberger described Paul’s Christmas album in his mammoth book The Unreleased Beatles: Music and Film:

Unforgettable

For years, it had been reported that Paul McCartney recorded an album at home around Christmas 1965 specifically for the other Beatles. Supposedly, it included singing, acting, and sketches, and only three copies were pressed, one each for John, George, and Ringo. In a 1995 interview with Mark Lewisohn, Paul confirmed this in some detail, explaining, “Yes, it’s true. I had two Brenell tape recorders set up at home, on which I made experimental recordings and tape loops, like the ones in ‘Tomorrow Never Knows.’ And once I put together something crazy, something left field, just for the other Beatles, a fun thing which they could play late in the evening. It was just something for the mates, basically.”

Continued McCartney, “It was called Unforgettable and it started with Nat ‘King’ Cole singing ‘Unforgettable,’ then I came in over the top as the announcer” ‘Yes, unforgettable, that’s what you are! And today in Unforgettable...’ It was like a magazine program: full of weird interviews, experimental music, tape loops, some tracks I knew the others hadn’t heard, it was just a compilation of odd things. I took the tape to Dick James’s studio and they cut me three acetate discs. Unfortunately, the quality of these discs was such that they wore out as you played them for a couple of weeks, but then they must have worn out. There’s probably a tape somewhere, though.”

If it ever turns up, it might be the earliest evidence of the Beatles using home recording equipment for specifically experimental/avant-garde purposes—something that John and Paul did in the last half of the 1960s, though John’s ventures in this field are more widely known than Paul’s.

Barry Miles in his biography of McCartney Many Years From Now notes the former Beatle had been regularly making experimental tapes for his then grilfriend Jane Asher which pips Lennon to the post as far as pioneering the avant-garde. As McCartney told Miles:

I would sit around all day, creating little tapes. I did one once called Unforgettable and used the Unforgettable Nat King Cole “Is what you are ...” as the intro. Then did a sort of “Hello, hello ...” like a radio show. I had a demo done by Dick James of that, just for the other guys because it was really a kind of stoned thing. That was really the truth of it.

This stoner recording has popped up on bootlegs but thanks to DM pal author, biographer, musician, and all-around good guy, Simon Wells we can share with you the whole of McCartney’s Unforgettable Christmas recording from 1965.
 

 
Thank you Simon Wells!
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher
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12.04.2017
10:27 am
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Behold the Christmas onesie that will make you look like a super sleazy version of Santa Claus
12.04.2017
09:34 am
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A look at the Christmas “Belovesie” from the Utah-based company, Beloved.
 
Like it or not, onesies for adults are a thing and have been a thing for a while now. We’ve featured novelty onesies on Dangerous Minds before, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen one more terrifying than the one I came across today by Utah-based company Beloved. According to their website, Beloved calls their brand of onesies “Belovesies,” and they seem to sell a lot of them, including their super sleazy looking Christmas Belovesie with an all-over print of Santa Claus—but not the jolly traditional image of Santa in his red suit. Because what fun would that be?

The Christmas Belovesie from Beloved features a realistic-looking all-over print of Santa wearing a pair of skimpy red underpants which exposes his tattooed, hairy body. The image is further accentuated with a couple of round glass ornaments dangling from his nipples. To make matters even worse (or much better if you’re into this kind of thing) is that the getup zips up over your damn head making your transition into sleazy Santa complete. The terrifying one-piece will run you $129.95 and if you want one in time for the upcoming holiday season, the order deadline is December 7th. Good luck with that.
 

The back of the Christmas “Belovesie.”

Posted by Cherrybomb
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12.04.2017
09:34 am
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Wearing a vizard kept women pale and interesting in the 16th and 17th centuries
12.01.2017
10:25 am
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The other evening round at DM Towers, Glasgow, as I lay reclining on the chaise longue in my plus fours, smoking jacket, and fez, quietly puffing on my Meerschaum and idly fingering Roget’s Thesaurus, an unholy apparition appeared at the library door. It was my girlfriend. Yet, I would never have recognized her, as her whole countenance had vanished into a grotesque black hole from hairline to chin.

“What infernal magic is this?” quoth I (we do a lot of quothing round our house) in my best quivering voice from behind the chaise longue.

“Why it is only I,” rejoined my girlfriend.

And it was. But that face—what had happened to it?

As it, fortunately, turned out, my dearest was merely sporting an antique item of fashion called a vizard. That is a type of mask once worn by posh birds to avoid unsightly contact with the sun which could result in the unfortunate bronzing of the skin and the worrisome fear of being considered a lowly working-class woman who spent her days toiling in fields under the sun. (“Tanning” wasn’t considered a “thing” until beach vacations were invented for rich people.)

This was all rather serendipitous in a way, as I had, only that morning, been reading young Master Pepys’ diary about his visit to the Royal Theater where he had chanced upon Lord Falconbridge and Lady Mary Cromwell. As the public began to fill the house, Lady Cromwell “put on her vizard, and so kept it on all the play”. Pepys said the vizard had “become a great fashion among the ladies, which hides their whole face.” Meeting the fashionable Lady Cornwell encouraged Pepys to go to “the Exchange, to buy things with my wife; among others, a vizard for herself.”

Intrigued by my fair lady’s latest fashionable accessory, I decided to find some fine examples of the vizard from history with which to share. It would seem, the vizard was once very popular in England during the late 16th and most of the 17th centuries, roughly from the reign of Queen Elizabeth I to the Restoration. They were worn as sun protectors, and on occasion to keep a woman’s face wrapped from the biting chill of a winter’s wind. They were also a means to create coquettish mystery—just as the Venetians wore masks to flirt with each other. The vizard was large, spherical in shape, with a black velvet exterior and a silk lining. There was a small rectangular niche for the nose and two small oval openings for the eyes. The mask was held in by the wearer’s teeth, as it is described in The Academie of Armorie (1688):

A mask [is] a thing that in former times Gentlewomen used to put over their Faces when they travel to keep them from Sun burning… the Visard Mask, which covers the whole face, having holes for the eyes, a case for the nose, and a slit for the mouth, and to speak through; this kind of Mask is taken off and put in a moment of time, being only held in the Teeth by means of a round bead fastened on the inside over against the mouth.

Not everyone was so taken with the latest fashion, the writer Phillip Stubbes wrote in Anatomy of Abuses (1583):

When [women] use to ride abroad, they have visors made of velvet… wherewith they cover all their faces, having holes made in them against their eyes, whereout they look so that if a man that knew not their guise before, should chance to meet one of them he would think he met a monster or a devil: for face he can see none, but two broad holes against her eyes, with glasses in them.

The playwright John Dryden was similarly droll in the prolog to one of his lesser-known plays, The Conquest of Granada by the Spaniards:

[W]hen Vizard Masque appears in Pit,
Straight every Man who thinks himself a Wit
Perks up; and, managing his Comb with grace,
With his white Wigg sets off his Nut-brown Face;
That done, bears up to th’ prize, and views each Limb,
To know her by her Rigging and her Trimm;
Then, the whole noise of Fops to wagers go,
Pox on her, ’t must be she; and Damm’ee no:

The vizard was fashionable among the higher classes until around early 1700s, when it became the preferred disguise for prostitutes to sell their wares.
 
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‘A horseman with his wife in the saddle behind him’ circa 1581.
 
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Pietro Longhi, ‘Rhinoceros,’ 1751.
 
More masked mystery ladies, after the jump…
 

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Posted by Paul Gallagher
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12.01.2017
10:25 am
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The Internet, now in book form: LiarTown
12.01.2017
08:55 am
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LiarTown USA (or just LiarTown, for short) has been, since 2013, a consistent source of Internet comedy gold, all springing forth from the warped mind of graphic design humorist Sean Tejaratchi. If you are unfamiliar with the site (actually a Tumblr page located at liartownusa.tumblr.com), you have undoubtedly seen Tejaratchi’s work popping up in your social media feeds. Those Apple Cabin Foods circulars advertising “Peanut Mud”? LiarTown. The Hardy Boys Lose Their Shit paperback? That’s LiarTown. The Difficult To Strip To Hits CD compilation? Also LiarTown.

Tejaratchi first flew onto my radar in the 1990s with his brilliant clip art zine Crap Hound, but LiarTown’s “things that look like real things, but aren’t real things” humor is just completely next level.

Tejaratchi has a knack for taking the most mundane, everyday packaging and advertising design elements and twisting them just slightly to the point of hilarious absurdity. What truly sells Tejaratchi’s humor though, is his ability to flawlessly ape the fine details of the design work he is mocking (homaging?). His paperbacks look like real paperbacks. His 45 rpm record labels look like real 45 rpm record labels. Over the past four years, the LiarTown style has been widely imitated, but—as they say—never duplicated. Tejaratchi’s particular brand of subtle absurdity doesn’t have much pre-Internet precedent. It’s as “Internet Humor” as it gets, and I say that without meaning it as an insult. Tejaratchi describes LiarTown as a “duplicate world maintained by a moderately benevolent but not necessarily detail-oriented God.”

Feral House has just issued a hefty compendium of the first four years of LiarTown, cleverly titled LiarTown: The First Four Years. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is The Internet in book form. Honest to God, this is the funniest book I own and if I didn’t already have a copy, I’d have it on my Christmas list. (I do still have Tejaratchi’s Social Justice Kittens calendar on my list!)

Here’s a gallery of some of my personal favorite LiarTown images, but take my word for it, the hundreds of images in LiarTown: The First Four Years are ALL gold.
 

 

 

 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Christopher Bickel
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12.01.2017
08:55 am
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There are leggings and shorts with a full frontal of Michelangelo’s ‘David’
11.28.2017
01:39 pm
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If you’re looking for something, shall we say? classical yet fashionably eye-catching, then you probably couldn’t do much better than a pair of leggings (or perhaps swim shorts) featuring the most recognizable dick in all of history plastered all across the crotch.

Rage On! are currently selling leggings featuring an image of the lower half of Michelangelo’s “David” called David’s Marble Legs. They also have “David” Swim Shorts with a literally butt-hugging seat. Both of these items are bound to inspire conversation and a possible interest in the finer details of Classical Art. One happy customer described these leggings as “amazing” and “couldn’t be happier to make people uncomfortable” which is possibly the intention.
 
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H/T Mommyish, Ufunk, and Rage On!
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher
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11.28.2017
01:39 pm
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Robert Smith responds to fans about death, dreams & his tombstone in ‘The Cure News’
11.28.2017
08:47 am
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Robert Smith of The Cure answers your questions!
 

“What would you do in “the last three minutes?”

“Cry or laugh; depending where I was and who I was with.”

 

—Robert Smith of The Cure responding to a fan on how he would spend his last three minutes on Earth from the band’s vintage newsletter The Cure News Issue #2, Autumn 1987.

Cure vocalist Robert Smith was 28 when he started answering questions from his fans in the band’s series of newsletters The Cure News which published its first issue in 1987. During its run, Smith replied to hand-written inquiries sent in about his mythical hair and his aversion to flying—all while slyly avoiding answering a request for his home address. In later newsletters, Smith lets loose on The Smiths/Morrissey and rarely avoids answering intimate questions from fans which run the gamut from amusing to stalker-level weirdness. The vintage Q&As also chronicle Smith’s commentary as it relates to his relationship with his childhood pal, Cure drummer and keyboardist Lol Tolhurst until Lol’s departure from The Cure in 1989.

I combed through every newsletter put out between 1987 to 1991 in search of Smith’s most quotable-quotes—which, I must say, was a shit-ton of fun. I’ve posted loads of Smith’s answers to his fans queries below in the order of their chronological appearance in the various newsletters. I’ve left his answers just as he wrote them, without capitalization and British spellings which in some cases makes them all the more endearing. So without further delay, here’s Robert Smith being very Robert Smith-y while he responds to his fans.
 

A photo of Issue #14 of ‘The Cure News.’
 

Issue #1, March 1987

Fan: How do you get your hair to stick up?
Robert Smith: kms gel and lots of backcombing

Fan: What hobbies do the band have?
Robert Smith: boris rides his motorbike, porl takes photographs and generally arts it up, i read, simon plays computer games (in between searching for the perfect drink!), and laurence…umm…he is interested in spontaneous human combustion.

Issue #2, Autumn 1987

Fan: Do you believe in God?
Robert Smith: no.

Fan: What makes you happy?         
Robert Smith: going to bed.

Issue #3, September 1987

Fan: What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened whilst playing live?
Robert Smith: lol on drums!

Fan: What do you think of the following chart acts?
a) The Smiths
b) Madonna
c) U2
d) Bananarama
e) Curiosity killed the cat (the late 80’s British pop band)
Robert Smith:
a) i am delighted they no longer exist, and all it needs now is a runaway truck and morrissey looking the other way..
b) it has to be someone doing it
c) as predictable as five star, and as boring
d) two out of three isn’t bad….(?)
e) aaaagh!! non-entities inert…

Issue #4, January 1988

Fan: What is your reaction if you are told that someone is totally obsessed with you, thinks about you, listens to you, and writes to you every day?
Robert Smith: if they lived with me for a day, they would be writing to someone else by midnight!

Fan: You say your greatest fear is dying, yet a short (?) while ago you didn’t want to reach the age of 25. What happened to change your mind?
Robert Smith: I reached 26.

Fan: What did you dream about last night?
Robert Smith: crashing in a plane and skiing and eyes.

Fan: If a fairy granted you 3 wishes, what would they be?
Robert Smith: to be able to become invisible, to be able to fly and to never grow up…

Fan: What colour lipstick do you use?
Robert Smith: “mary quant crimson scorcher”!

Fan: Do you hate anybody? Who? And why?
Robert Smith: i hate lots of people for many different reasons - some people and reasons for i don’t even know… but none of them too much of the time…

Issue #5, May 1988

Fan: What epitaph would you like on your tombstone?
Robert Smith: i am not here.

Fan: What’s your definition of the perfect cure fan?
Robert Smith: a sincere individualist with a hatred of fashion, bigotry, and soullessness.

Fan: What three possessions would you want with you if stranded on a desert island?
Robert Smith: my telescope, my bed, and a beach ball.
 

Lol Tolhurst and Smith.
 

Issue #6, January 1989

Fan: What’s the funniest thing Lol has ever done?
Robert Smith: pretend to be part of the group.

Fan: Why do you all victimize Lol?
Robert Smith: because he is useless.

Fan: Are you usually pleased with how your photos turn out?
Robert Smith: no - very rarely - but it doesn’t really matter.

Fan: What’s the most embarrassing moment on stage?
Robert Smith: there have been millions - whenever i remember something about myself i hate (which isn’t hard)

Fan: What’s your biggest frustration?
Robert Smith: getting old

Fan: If you could change anything in your life, what would it be?
RS: my birth date

Fan: When you were a child what did you want to be when you grew up?
Robert Smith: me

Fan: Do you believe in U.F.O.‘s?
Robert Smith: sometimes

Issue #8, September 1989

Fan: What is the real reason for you sacking Lol? Have you spoken to him since?
Robert Smith: he lost touch with the rest of us; mentally, spiritually and socially. no, i haven’t spoke to him (i hadn’t spoke to him for several years anyway - that was part of the problem).

Fan: Who has replaced Lol as a scapegoat?
Robert Smith: no-one. we don’t need one anymore.

Fan: Do you ever feel that everything you’ve ever done is completely irrelevant and meaningless?
Robert Smith: often! but it’s not only me.

Fan: Were you drunk whilst performing “Lullaby” on Top of the Pops?
Robert Smith: yes!!

Fan: What is the worst psychological torture you can imagine suffering?
Robert Smith: constantly waking up and then waking up…always in a dream, or would this be any different?

Fan: From the list below, what is the most thing you’ve ever experienced?
a) amazing
b) beautiful
c) sickening/horrifying
Robert Smith:
a) hallucinations
b) hallucinations
c) flying

More after the jump…

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Posted by Cherrybomb
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11.28.2017
08:47 am
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Bizarre and amusing list of reasons people claimed they were fired from work in 1905
11.28.2017
08:34 am
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An article in the Chicago Tribune, Illinois, on October 15, 1905, supplied a list of reasons given by people as to why they had been fired from their jobs. The list included such bizarre reasons as tearing a hole in an employer’s pants, having a nosebleed which stained a pair of socks, and perhaps best of all getting sacked for laughing at the boss when he was kicked by a cow—which is something worthy of inclusion in anyone’s resume.

There are also some of the usual no-nos like being drunk, running away, laziness, carelessness, and being impudent, as well as a few unexpected and definitely odd entries like “refused to marry boss’ sister,” “told ghost story,” “joined the wrong church,” and “too good for job.” This list shows how work was shifting from predominantly land-based agriculture to town and city industry/white collar employment. It also suggests work back in those days was very much dependent on the whims and prejudices of the employer. So nothing has changed?
 
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Thanks to Steve Duffy, via Vintage Blognook.
 

Posted by Paul Gallagher
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11.28.2017
08:34 am
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Bad, weird and just downright pervy album covers (NSFW)
11.24.2017
06:34 am
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Out there, somewhere, there’s bound to be an apology floating around the Internet from a near-retirement-age record designer fessin’ up to all the bad album covers he was responsible for back in the day when lines were a little more blurred. Now, this guy would tell you (if he could) that he has a lot of respect and admiration for all the hardworking people who design album covers and he’s truly horrified to find some of his worst work that he had honest-to-God deliberately forgotten about is now doing the rounds on the Internet.

Honestly, he really can’t remember ever doing any of these album covers and well, if he did, it must have been down to a tight deadline or a shitload of drugs or maybe perhaps both. However, he sincerely hopes these allegedly inappropriate album covers won’t be viewed as something representative of the kind of stuff he does now. He was much younger then.

Thankfully, due to all the sons of bitches who think it’s funny to share this guy’s shit, he has been encouraged to review his past history with some candor and examine his back catalog just in case there’s any more of this embarrassing shit out there.

Fortunately, for us, it looks like there is indeed plenty of creepy, weird, and downright inappropriate stuff still floating around out there.
 
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More strange and saucy album covers, after the jump…
 

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Posted by Paul Gallagher
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11.24.2017
06:34 am
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‘Taxi!’: There’s a ‘sexy’ New York City cab drivers calendar for 2018
11.21.2017
10:09 am
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NYC cab drivers have released their calendar for 2018. Now in its fifth year, the New York Taxi Drivers Calendar features another bunch of hardworking, hunky, and glamorous cabbies photographed in a variety of sexy and amusing poses which should guarantee a smile—if not a lift—throughout the year.

The calendar is a charity project devised by Philip Kirkman and Shannon McLaughlin. All profits from sales go to the University Settlement (“America’s oldest settlement house”) in New York City, which serves “over 30,000 immigrant and working individuals and families every year with basic services like quality education, housing, recreation and wellness opportunities, and literacy programs. immigrant families through education.” Each calendar costs $14.99. Order yours here.
 
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More friendly cab drivers, after the jump…
 

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Posted by Paul Gallagher
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11.21.2017
10:09 am
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Prehistoric cheesecake: A look at the curvaceous cavewomen of B-movie cinema
11.21.2017
08:44 am
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An iconic shot of actress Raquel Welch as a cavewoman in the 1966 film ‘One Million Years B.C.’
 
If my research regarding the long history of actresses playing cavewomen in films is correct, it is likely that actress and Ziegfeld Follies girl Cecile Arnold was the first woman to play a prehistoric chick in Charlie Chaplin’s 1914 silent film, His Prehistoric Past. Decades later, however, movie-goers would be treated to a vast array of like-themed films such as One Million B.C. (1940); Prehistoric Women (1950); One Million Years B.C. (starring the Raquel Welch in 1966); Hammer’s smashing 1967 remake of Prehistoric Women; the bonkers Italian film, When Women Had Tails (1970); and another stone-age hit from Hammer, Creatures the World Forgot (1971). 

I must be honest—I’m very fond of pictorial-style posts, and this one may be my favorite of all that I’ve done here on Dangerous Minds. And that is because the Internet was exceedingly generous when it came to revealing images of vintage, risky-looking cinematic cavewomen. Photos of Hammer girls Edina Ronay and Caroline Munro, actress Martine Beswick, Barbara Bach (the wife of Beatle Ringo Starr), and the enchanting Norwegian actress Julie Ege—are all featured in this post. Over 30 images of sexy fictional cavewomen follow—most of which are NSFW due to the skimpy attire. You’re welcome
 

Actor Charlie Chaplin surrounded by a few of his cavewomen (and a not so sleepy caveman) in the 1914 film, ‘His Prehistoric Past.’
 

Actress Edina Ronay in the 1967 “Hammer Glamour” remake of ‘Prehistoric Women.’
 
More after the jump…

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Posted by Cherrybomb
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11.21.2017
08:44 am
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