Springdale Drycleaners of Cincinnati, Ohio, has been etching “Choose Life” ads on wire coat hangers used to hang dry-cleaning.
What’s worse is that this seems to be an ongoing effort. Reports of the “choose life” coat hangers already were on the Internet back in March of 2011, when Joe.My.God posted a picture of the hanger then. And before that on Regretsy in 2010. So despite over two years of attention, the business continues to think this is an excellent cross-advertising campaign. In fact, the practice was losing them customers as far back as August of 2010, but still the dry-cleaner continues to use hangers as a place to offer inappropriate propaganda.
Staggeringly stupid stuff. What’s bad for business is… bad for business, but that’s not going to stop these tacky morons from running their company right into the ground. You’d think that a loss of money might, you know, clue them in a little bit, but apparently not!
Glenn Beck has launched his own brand of jeans, 1791 Denim. They only went on the market 2 days ago, but they’ve already sold out despite the $130 price tag. I’d go into more detail about the ideology of Glenn Beck’s blue jeans, but the commercial really speaks for itself.
If you’re perceptive to the subtlest of thematic symbolism, you’ll notice it has it all: nationalist imagery, nostalgia for some mythic time period when people and things were apparently better because of work ethic or some bullshit, a noble, industrious white dude, and the romanticization of really arduous labor! The spot even demonstrates the classic hypocritical boner for “American-made” products, while Beck himself still promotes a free market that favors outsourcing on his radio show.
The final line asserts that in America, you may not get the chance to succeed, but by gum, you have the chance to try, dammit! And in the end, the guy builds a giant phallic symbol that beats the Russians to the moon! USA! USA! USA!
When Matt Groening hired Danny Elfman to write the theme for The Simpsons, he gave him a mixed tape of songs that he wanted the music to sound like: The theme from The Jetsons, some of Esquivel’s “space age bachelor-pad music,” a teach-your-parrot-to-talk record, selections from Nino Rota’s Juliet of the Spirits soundtrack and this unused Frank Zappa-produced radio commercial for Remington electric shavers that features the vocal stylings of none other than a young Linda Ronstadt.
The future queen of country rock is nearly unrecognizable here, speeded-up, multi-tracked and sounding like she’s just taken a hit off a helium balloon. At the end, Zappa tells listeners that the Remington electric razor “cleans you, thrills you… may even keep you from getting busted.”
According to legend, after giving the tape several listens Elfman told Groening, “I know exactly what you’re looking for!”
This just in: Apparently the “disgusting” new Skittles TV ad was enough to send conservative Christian woman’s group One Million Moms into an apoplectic fit. Now they’re snapping into action. The group, who in the past have called for the boycotting of JC Penny because the retailer hired Ellen Degeneres as its spokesperson, sent out the following press release about the “bestiality” themed Skittles ad:
We are not sure of Skittles’ thought process behind their new ad, but if they are attempting to offend customers, they have succeeded. Skittles’ newest “Walrus” commercial includes a teen girl making out with a walrus. The two are on a coach in an apartment kissing on the mouth when her shocked roommate walks in on them. Parents find this type of advertising inappropriate and unnecessary. Does Skittles’ have our children’s best interest in mind? Skittles candies are for all ages, but their target market is children. Skittles Marketing Team may have thought this was humorous, but not only is it disgusting, it is taking lightly the act of bestiality. Let Skittles know their new ad is irresponsible.
Raise your hand if you think this ad puts a child—even one kid on the entire planet—in danger of wanting to make out with a large flippered marine mammal with tusks? Didn’t think so.
[Now all that needs to happen for this latest “boycott” to crawl up its own ass is for an ANTI-bestiality Christian candy company to…uh, take a stand. Then Mike Huckabee will tell all of the lemmings who listen to his radio show looking for clues on how to think (?!?!?) that they need to support this brave anti-bestiality candy maker by eating their fine sugary Christian products by the bagful. As if it was food… But all of this is really just a nefarious plot to dupe Mike Huckabee and One Million Moms into throwing their support behind the anti-bestiality candy maker… It’s all just an evil satanic ruse. The supposedly anti-bestiality candy maker is really owned jointly by Michael Moore, Michelle Obama, Rachel Maddow and Bill Maher. The real goal of this evil foursome being to give god-fearing Christians type 2 diabetes and make millions of dollars in the process. All of this will be exposed by WorldNetDaily and Donald Trump a few weeks from now, but I digress...]
I can’t believe One Million Moms thinks this is ad is so offensive. It’s just seems… kinda stupid to me. I will admit, though, that all the fuss made me curious about these “new” counter-intuitive Skittles flavors, so thanks for spreading the word One Million Moms! I’d never have heard about this product otherwise if you hadn’t taken the bait! (What a great way to increase the client’s ROI on an ad like this: Troll conservative Christians. They’ll get predictably outraged and then act as unpaid, hostile brand ambassadors! Maybe this deceptively stupid ad is is a lot smarter than I thought at first glance? It’s not just Skittle doing this, it’s Ragu, too)
One YouTube commenter, writing in support of OMM had this to say:
“Gross!! It makes me NOT want to eat Skittles. They have walrus and her spit on them!.”
If only more people knew that Skittles had “walrus” and spit (and probably walrus spit, too) all over them, then this Skittles boycott might actually catch on. Walrus spit?That’s disgusting!
Below, the offending Skittles commercial that arrogantly promotes the acceptance of an unnatural “lifestyle choice”: