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A new meme is born: Post-Rapture advice for the unsaved on YouTube

 
A new meme is born!  A video letter from a concerned Christian man with “insider information” from God to those of us who’ll be “left behind” when Jesus takes up all the Christians and Republicans to live in the clouds with him. After that begins the seven-year Tribulation period and this is when we’re all supposed to dial up YouTube and with this clown’s help, get right with the Lord… and eat dirt and paper. Or something.

Whether to point and laugh or to weep at how dumb and delusional this poor fucker is? This guy’s entire, pitifully small worldview is based on the Left Behind novels and Jack Chick tracts! He appears to be well-meaning, but there’s also an air of smug superiority to his advice which I find bust-a-gut funny coming from someone so obviously… not very bright.

“You must not accept the ‘Mark of the Beast.’ That is the main thing you must not do. So basically if anybody… if the government, basically, enforces some sort of a tattoo, or stamping of some sort, on your right hand or your forehead, do not take it at all costs. I don’t care if you can’t buy or sell anything, I don’t care if you don’t have any food, you are better off to eat dirt. Eat dirt. Paper. Basically anything you can find to basically to numb the feeling of your hunger. And it will be worth every bit of it if you refuse the ‘Mark of the Beast.’ Because if you receive the ‘Mark of the Beast,’ that basically guarantees that you are gonna be spending eternity in the lake of fire.”

So far only a couple of hundred people have watched this clip, but as it picks up speed, the commenters on YouTube are going to be merciless to this doofus. I predict remixes and 4chan infamy for this fellow, not to mention drinking games based on how many times he utters the word “basically.”

Here are some from the past 24-hours:

“this is sort of like the videos that suicide bombers make. have fun on your ufo!”

“You should speed up the process.”

“wow you got msg from god..you must be very smart an powerful person,,,im goin go eat some dirt an paper now,, caio”

“Maybe it’s already happened, and you’re one of those left behind?”

 
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And in related news, The Washington Post profiled another Christian who believes that the date of the Rapture is nigh upon us. For Christ’s sake—and for the rest of us—I sure hope she’s right:

From her Subaru, a car painted as white as the fourth horse of Revelation, Allison Warden proclaims that Jesus shall return May 21.

By her reckoning, His return will fall on a springtime Saturday. And if the world weren’t ending, you might find people celebrating other notable highlights of the day: Mr. T’s birthday, Montenegro’s independence or the Red Sox-White Sox game.

But to Warden and hundreds of like-minded Christians, Judgment Day can be calculated precisely by tracing biblical genealogy or by following history forward 7,000 years from the day Noah shut the door to his ark.

So if May 22 rolls around and you’re still here, wailing and gnashing your teeth, don’t say nobody warned you.

“It’s a very jarring thing to be told you have five months on Earth,” Warden, 29, said. “That may interrupt any earthly plan.”

They say that ignorance is bliss, but I’m not so sure about that… It’s not like these two decided to be stupid.

Enraptured by the Second Coming (The Washington Post)

Via Christian Nightmares

Posted by Richard Metzger
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01.03.2011
01:55 pm
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Christian Science? Just the facts, ma’am
12.30.2010
12:48 pm
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Nice one.

Via Failbook

Posted by Richard Metzger
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12.30.2010
12:48 pm
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‘American exceptionalism’: Americans ARE the exception, just not necessarily in a good way

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I woke up this morning and as I was waiting for the coffee to brew, I dialed up the Huffington Post and read the following headline:

Number of Americans lacking medical coverage now exceeds the population of Spain.

Ouch! How fucked up is that? It’s just so depressing. Why? How was it allowed to get this bad?

Yep, there are currently 59 million of us without healthcare here in thee greatest country on earth, whereas the EU insures 100% of its population, cradle to grave, by law, including dentistry! Every major industrialized economy in the world has universal health care… except for us. We’re the exception. I don’t think this is exactly the brand of “American exceptionalism” Sarah Palin is talking about all the time, but it’s sure the way it looks from where my ass is sitting.

What we’re getting in 2014—if the Republicans can’t repeal it in the meantime—is a step in the right direction, but it’s not great. What would have been great is a single payer system, but that would have also been too easy!

In Europe for their tax dollars, they get universal health coverage. We here in America get a bunch of weapons and give tax cuts to millionaires and billionaires who don’t need ‘em. Why? Because Fox News said we should. Let’s face the cold and clammy facts: we’re a country of idiots, run by a class of amoral scoundrels and criminals.

Why there isn’t rioting in the streets over the turn for the (much) worse the quality of life has taken in America is a mystery. How is it possible that it’s gotten this bad without major social unrest? Beats me.

And then to make me even more depwessed, I read this article, “America in Decline: Why Germans Think We’re Insane: A look at our empire in decline through the eyes of the European media.

Der Spiegel has run an interesting feature called “A Superpower in Decline,” which attempts to explain to a German audience such odd phenomena as the rise of the Tea Party, without the hedging or attempts at “balance” found in mainstream U.S. media. On the Tea Parties:

Full of Hatred: “The Tea Party, that group of white, older voters who claim that they want their country back, is angry. Fox News host Glenn Beck, a recovering alcoholic who likens Obama to Adolf Hitler, is angry. Beck doesn’t quite know what he wants to be—maybe a politician, maybe president, maybe a preacher—and he doesn’t know what he wants to do, either, or least he hasn’t come up with any specific ideas or plans. But he is full of hatred.”

The piece continues with the sobering assessment that America’s actual unemployment rate isn’t really 10 percent, but close to 20 percent when we factor in the number of people who have stopped looking for work.

Sound like a country you know? The thing I keep obsessing over is “How much longer can the “smarts” and the “dumbs” co-exist in America?” We really don’t want the same things, you know? Sooner or later something’s got to give and it ain’t gonna be pretty.

Read more of America in Decline: Why Germans Think We’re Insane (Alternet)
 

 
Thank you Steven Otero!

Posted by Richard Metzger
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12.28.2010
10:56 pm
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The rise and fall of LSD: Fascinating documentary on acid
12.28.2010
04:25 pm
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The Beyond Within is a well-balanced two part documentary on LSD featuring Albert Hoffman, Ken Kesey and British politician Christopher Mayhew.

While the entire documentary is filled with absorbing insights, The Mayhew segment is particularly fascinating.

Media and public interest in LSD reached a point in the early 60’s that a politician by the name of Christopher Mayhew agreed to undergo an experiment, and for this experiment to be filmed by the BBC. This fascinating experiment involved his taking a dose of Mescalin in the company of a physician, and answering certain basic brainteasers over the course of his little trip. The footage of his experience is extraordinary, as this eloquent upper-class aristocrat describes what he is experiencing under the influence of the drug, his eyes wide as saucers. Indeed, the footage proved too controversial for the BBC at the time, and was not shown until this Everyman documentary broadcast it in the 1980’s. Interestingly, Mayhew, who in 1986 was a member of the House of Lords, watches the footage, 30 years later, and stands by his description of the experience. “I had an experience in time” he says, and his conviction is apparent.”

There has been a recent resurgence of interest in psychedelics within the psychiatric and scientific community and I personally think it’s about time. The benefits of psychoactive drugs, DMT and LSD in particular, far outweigh the hazards. It’s time to make pharmaceutical quality LSD available to adults who want an alternative path to mental well-being and spiritual insight. We need to re-approach this extraordinary chemical without hysteria and hype.

Made in 1986 for BBC television, The Beyond Within explores the rise and fall of LSD.  Here it is in its entirety.
 

Posted by Marc Campbell
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12.28.2010
04:25 pm
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Insane Christian preacher does sick imitation of burn victim
12.27.2010
03:16 pm
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Sicko Christian fundamentalist David Benoit tells a grisly tale of redemption with a shameless insensitivity that borders on the sociopathic. What a creep.

In June of 1984, David was led of the Lord to establish Glory Ministries as an evangelist. When David began, the emphasis of Glory Ministries was to expose the truth of the damaging effects of rock music on society. The only solution being regeneration by Jesus Christ.

In the past several years, David has used his vast knowledge of the occult and the New Age movement to show how Satan is subtly gaining entrance into our families and our churches through seemingly harmless children’s toys, movies and cartoons.

“David Benoit’s message is one of hope, not fear.  David has a unique way of presenting hard hitting facts with southern style humor.”  Jerry Falwell.

Yeah right. You laughing yet? 
 

 
Previously on DM: Another perspective, Merill Womach.

Posted by Marc Campbell
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12.27.2010
03:16 pm
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‘Santa Claus Will Take You to Hell’
12.23.2010
06:19 am
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“You better not pout, you better not cry”

Westboro Baptist Church would be dangerous if they weren’t so fucking insane. In this sick little ditty sung to the tune of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town,” the Phelps clan concoct a rape scenario involving children and a non-existent mythic character named Santa Claus. These freaks are fantasizing on a level so evil that Charlie Manson would cross the street to avoid their collective bad karma.

Forget about chestnuts, these religious whack jobs would love to see us all roasting on an open fire.

Santa ain’t coming to town. He doesn’t exist. But Jesus does and he’s pissed.
 

Posted by Marc Campbell
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12.23.2010
06:19 am
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Bill Maher’s Christmas message on the religion of greed

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He’s a smug bastard, but he’s our smug bastard.

It’s nice to know that America’s funniest atheist activist is also part of a growing group of celebrities unafraid of the Oprah cult-mafia.

Thanks for the heads-up, Aybee Deepblak!
 

Posted by Ron Nachmann
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12.21.2010
11:40 pm
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The 12 Days of Winter: A conservative Christian response to ‘the war on Christmas’
12.15.2010
06:58 pm
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“The 12 Days of Winter” as heard on the radio show of Las Vegas-based conservative asshole, Heidi Harris.

Via Joe.My.God

Posted by Richard Metzger
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12.15.2010
06:58 pm
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You show ‘that Obama’ yor true colors with a Christian American CHRIST-mas Tree!

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Lately I’m more inclined than I’ve ever been—am I mellowing with age or have I just been worn down?—to feel zen about the fact that I live in a country where the stupidest people are on the ascent everywhere. It used to bother me, but now I’ve come to realize that there is not a damned thing I can do about it.

I just think it’s better for my health this way.

Full-scale replica of Noah’s Ark planned in Kentucky (USA Today)

Via Christian Nightmares/Jesus Needs New P.R.

Posted by Richard Metzger
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12.14.2010
06:46 pm
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Ever wonder where anti-gay activists get their ‘facts’? Wonder no more!

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Repulsive, repugnant and throughly discredited anti-gay “researcher” (and batshit crazy homophobe), “Dr.” Paul Cameron gave an incredibly distasteful, yet almost (I said almost) laughable interview to the Colorado Springs Gazette recently. Cameron—who once spread the lie that a small child had been castrated by a gay man in a public bathroom and who says DADT repeal would lead to gay rapes in the military—said the fact that his antigay organization, The Family Research Institute, was recently classified as a hate group by Southern Poverty Law Center was merely a “left-wing” smear.

Here’s what the SPLC report had to say about Cameron and his non-profit, donation-supported “institute” which consists of four employees and is run out of his home in Colorado Springs on a budget of $85,000 per year (Wait a minute, who would send this fool money?):

Started in 1987 by psychologist Paul Cameron, the Family Research Institute (FRI) has become the anti-gay movement’s main source for what Cameron claims is “cutting-edge research” — but is, in fact, completely discredited junk science pushed out by a man who has been condemned by three professional organizations.

Over nearly three decades, Cameron has published “research studies” (though almost never in peer-reviewed journals) that suggest that homosexuals are predatory and diseased perverts who victimize children. Among his more recent defamations was an FRI pamphlet asserting the primary activity of the gay rights movement is “seeking to legitimize child-adult homosexual sex.” In another, he claimed that with “the rise of the gay rights movement, homosexual rape of men appears to have increased.” In yet another, he wrote, “Homosexuals were three times more likely to admit to having made an obscene phone call” and “a third more apt to report a traffic ticket or traffic accident in the past 5 years.”

Some of Cameron’s more infamous claims include the idea that homosexuals molest children at far higher rates than heterosexuals and that homosexuals have extremely short lives. Last February, he wrote on FRI’s website that “If homosexuals are allowed to serve in the military, they will be recruiting in showers, having sex in the barracks… . Before long, the U.S. may be defended by the sex-obsessed and those who can tolerate kowtowing to them.” After all, writes Cameron — a man who proposes that parents promote teen heterosexual activity to keep kids straight — “homosexual sex overwhelms rationality [and] overwhelms the desire to serve.”

Cameron’s colleagues have condemned him repeatedly. In 1983, he was thrown out of the American Psychological Association for ethical violations.  In 1984, the Nebraska Psychological Association disassociated itself from Cameron’s statements about sexuality. In 1985, the American Sociological Association adopted a resolution saying Cameron “has consistently misinterpreted and misrepresented sociological research on sexuality” and “repeatedly campaigned for the abrogation of the civil rights of lesbians and gay men”; the following year, the same group formally condemned Cameron for that misrepresentation of research.

Despite all this — and the fact that Cameron’s propaganda is widely known to be false or misleading — many groups have continued to use his claims, though often without citing their source. They include the American Family Association, Americans for Truth About Homosexuality, Concerned Women for America, Coral Ridge Ministries, the Family Research Council and, until recently, the Illinois Family Institute/ (Note: all six were also included in the report)

Yes, that’s right, the VERY SAME assholes you see on Fox News each and every time DADT, hate crime legislation and gay marriage is brought up are quoting this fool’s “research”! People like Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council. Facts? Who cares about the facts when Perkins can just quote a statement from a “think tank” consisting of an old crackpot and a handful of his cronies? A guy who has been ostracized and rebuked by several of the most prestigious professional medical organizations in the country and who publishes his “research” in the official sounding “Psychological Reports,” a journal which will publish pretty much any old thing for the cost of $27.50 per page? Yep, that’s the guy, Paul Cameron. He’s the UR-source for nearly all this stuff when such “fact” and “studies” are cited, even if you’ve never heard of him.

And I’ll say it again, this “research” is what you hear parroted by rightwing Christians on Fox News and talk radio all day long. Paul Cameron is too crazy to be mentioned by name—even anti-gay marriage Christian activists are wary of an association with him—but his ludicrous “research,” as if it were worth anything more than $27.50 per page, has formed the pseudo-science basis of their reality tunnels. If they weren’t hateful assholes, I could feel sorry for them.

Here are a couple of nuggets from the interview:

God’s 11th Commandment is “Thou shalt not corrupt boys,”  Cameron told me. He celebrated the Ugandan anti-gay bill, in which the penalty for gay activity could be death. “Whatever they decide, I’m OK with,” he said. 

Cameron believes homosexuality should be criminalized in America. He proposes heavily taxing single American adults and homosexuals because of their failure to procreate. He would also like to see gays undergo a “public shaming,” though he offered no specifics.

During our 90-minute talk, Cameron expressed his ideas in a calm, professorial manner. He said the SPLC Hate Group list is a “left-wing deal” and he’s unconcerned about the FRI being on it. He said gays “want to shut down Christianity.”

The gay lifestyle, which he says is chosen, will lead to the destruction of the West. “Liberal minds are attracted to societal destructive things like moth to a light,” he told me. “No society can long endure that does such a thing.”

“If God has changed his mind (about homosexuality being an abomination, as written in the Bible), he must want the West to die.”

Cameron has been at this game for thirty years now. Thirty years of his fucking life on earth spent making up shit about gay people because the Bible told him this was a good thing to do! Clearly he’s a lunatic. The older he gets, the crazier he gets.

The next time you hear this kind of nonsense—only slightly watered down—being promoted on or talk radio or television by the likes of Tony Perkins (Note to CNN: STOP inviting this fucking guy on your airwaves, okay?) or oh, I dunno, say, Governor Rick Perry of Texas, remember that the “scientific” root of their belief system (or “BS” as Robert Anton Wilson liked to say) comes from this idiot, “Dr.” Paul Cameron, a man whose ideas deserve contempt and mockery.

The Fabulist: Anti-gay researcher Paul Cameron’s falsehoods are well known. The incredible thing is the people who still cite them (SPLC)

The Holy War on Gays: The Christian Right is on a new mission:  To drive homosexuality back into the closet.  Inside the war rooms of evangelical intolerance (Rolling Stone)

Springs nonprofit leader wants homosexuality criminalized (Colorado Springs Gazette)

Debunked & Disgraced Professional Anti-Gay Paul Cameron: Prop H8 Lawyers “Scared” to Use His Junk “Science” (Lavender Newswire)

Posted by Richard Metzger
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12.10.2010
03:26 pm
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