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Beyond the Doors: Conspiracy theories about the deaths of Jimi, Janis and Jim
02.03.2010
08:03 pm
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Beyond the Doors is one of those terrible, terrible films that you used to see selling for $2.99 in low rent stores of one stripe or another. I bought a copy at a “Checks Cashed” place on 9th Avenue and 14th Street in NYC in the late 80s. It was for sale amongst VHS tapes of westerns you never heard of, Jack Benny episodes, Cantinflas films, WWII movies you’ve never heard of, no budget horror films (like Psychomania about a Brit biker gang who worship frogs and death, co-starring George Sanders and Beryl Reid!) and that kind of fare.

To say that Beyond the Doors is “shitty” is being too kind. It’s fucking terrible, but at the same time, it’s SO LAME that you can always laugh at it. I was going to write a review of it, but found Shock Cinema’s Steve Puchalski’s take on it and he says it better than I could:

This film tries to wring in a few bucks by stomping on the graves of not one, but THREE cold-as-a-mackerel celebs. So if your sensibilities can endure the ordeal of Buchanan’s wretched tabloid-style filmmaking, here’s what “really happened” to Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison, because this movie promises to blow the lid off the secret behind their deaths. Are you sitting down? No, they didn’t overdose—the U.S. government actually assassinated them! Honest! It was all a carefully constructed plot to “neutralize the three Pied Pipers of rock music.”

If only the film itself was constructed as carefully…It’s a painfully idiotic concept, and Buchanan’s casting only complicates matters. As Janis Joplin, Riba Meryl comes off more like Stevie Nicks with PMS. Gregory Allen Chatman’s Jimi Hendrix can barely hold a guitar, much less wail on it. Worst of all, Jim Morrison (Bryan Wolf) looks like a scrawny Peter Frampton, and when he opens his mouth, it’s nerve-raking. I might’ve had a few problems with Val Kilmer’s interpretation of Jim in THE DOORS, but at least he didn’t turn him into a complete clown, clutching a tambourine on stage and telling them “I’ll flash my cock if you burn your draft card.” And since the producers obviously couldn’t get the rights in order to butcher any of the three’s original tunes, they wrote new songs that aren’t remotely like the real thing.

And mock-Morrison’s poetry is something that has to be heard to be believed. This “chilling” expose explains that all three were getting on the government’s nerves—Jimi was being courted by black revolutionaries, Morrison talked back about the Vietnam War, and Janis even found her political self—so they sent a trench-coated agent to off ‘em and make it look like drug-related demises. So in between scenes of Jimi snivelling about being unloved or Morrison mumbling his inanities, Buchanan keeps cutting back to official gov’t types plotting their schemes. This isn’t left-wing propaganda, just left-over!...

Hilarious (at first) for its sheer unbelievability, but Buchanan still can’t keep our attention, and his worst sin is to make all of these legends into complete bores! Accountants have more natural charisma (or at least I’ve heard rumors they do)! And wait until you have to suffer through the pathetic scenes of each star dying, after being slipped death-inducing drugs. In Janis’ case, the assassin punches a bunch of extra needle tracks in her arm after she’s DOA, just to make it look good. Quite tasteful, Mr. Buchanan, you shithead! He even tries to convince us that maybe Morrison didn’t die after all, and just entered a monastery. AAAAaaaarrrggghhhhhnnhh!!!! I can’t take it any more! This unimaginably inept mess had my mind reeling, and the scariest part is knowing that there are probably morons out there who’d watch this drivel and actually believe it.

Posted by Richard Metzger
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02.03.2010
08:03 pm
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Japanese “Star Wars” Sea Chicken Commercial (1978)
02.02.2010
11:36 pm
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Chewbacca is so damn excited he can’t contain himself.
 
(via Nerdcore)

Posted by Tara McGinley
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02.02.2010
11:36 pm
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Think Outside the Box Office: Jon Reiss
01.25.2010
12:39 am
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Jon Reiss has been a pioneer of DIY film-making since the punk era and he shares what he’s learned in his new book, Think Outside the Box Office: The Ultimate Guide to Film Distribution and Marketing for the Digital Era.

READ ON
Posted by Richard Metzger
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01.25.2010
12:39 am
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Ralph Bakshi’s Wizards (And The Other Avatar)
01.22.2010
04:30 pm
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“Necron 99 has destroyed himself!”  With all the talk of Avatar these days, I find it curious that no one’s made note of that other Avatar (and not the Airbender).  It’s the good magician Avatar from Ralph Bakshi‘s animated, post-apocalyptic science fiction/fantasy, Wizards

And like the Cameron film, Wizards offers up an epic battle between the forces of nature and technology.  On the side of nature, there’s Avatar with his good magic and hot fairy sidekick.  On the side of technology, there’s Avatar’s bad-ass but anorexic-looking twin brother, Blackwolf, who’s just discovered the amazingly persuasive powers of Nazi propaganda.  And for fans of Richard Elfman’s Forbidden Zone (who of you out there in DM-land isn’t?!), actress Susan “Queen Mona” Tyrell provides the narration.

Bakshi’s Wizards came out in ‘77, after Fritz the Cat and Heavy Traffic, and a year before his own take on Lord Of The Rings.  I’ve seen that later film just once.  I’ve watched Wizards nearly a dozen times.  Part I follows, with links to the entire film below:

 
Wizards Part II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII

Posted by Bradley Novicoff
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01.22.2010
04:30 pm
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New Clip From Chris Morris’ “Four Lions”
01.22.2010
04:01 pm
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New clip just went online for infamous satirist Chris Morris’ eagerly-awaited jihadist comedy film “Four Lions.” The film promises to be a “light-hearted look” at English domestic terrorism. Morris’ past track record includes the faux-news shows “The Day Today” and “Brass Eye” (largely the inspiration for “Ali G” and “The Daily Show”) as well as the insomnia-fever-dream comedy “Jam.” Can’t wait for this one.

(Chris Morris: Four Lions)

(Chris Morris: Blue Jam)


Posted by Jason Louv
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01.22.2010
04:01 pm
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Wastings And Pain: The Other Side of Vancouver
01.21.2010
09:50 pm
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Indulge me for a moment, won’t you (what, again?) and watch this fascinating short film (part of a series of short and long form pieces) by my brother, Josh Laner, who has made Vancouver his new home. Music by yours truly, too.

Posted by Brad Laner
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01.21.2010
09:50 pm
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Movies For Crass: Mick Duffield’s Christ: The Movie
01.21.2010
04:20 pm
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While there’s little actual live footage of anarchist agit-propsters Crass floating around online (see bottom for a rare example), there’s plenty of available footage from Christ: The Movie, the collection of experimental shorts put together by Crass collective member, Mike Duffield.  As All Movie says of the shorts:

They were designed to be shown on-stage during Crass’ live performances.  The films are accompanied by music the group recorded for their album Yes Sir, I Will, a 1983 polemic on the ideas and realities behind the War in the Falklands.

As with most things Crass, some of it’s harsh, some of it’s lovely, and the transitions between the two come whiplash fast.  Christ: The Movie Part V (the more music-heavy clip) follows, with links to the other clips below:

 
Rare Crass live footage:

 
Christ: The Movie, Part I, II, III, IV, VI, VII, VIII, IX

Previously on Dangerous Minds:
The Unexpected Crass-Beatles Nexus Point

Posted by Bradley Novicoff
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01.21.2010
04:20 pm
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Philip Michael Thomas’ 3 Minute Angel Dust Freak Out
01.21.2010
11:50 am
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Posted by Tara McGinley
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01.21.2010
11:50 am
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Tilda Swinton in Ryan McGinley?
01.16.2010
09:34 pm
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The actress darts through the forest, crawls through a cave and ends up swimming out to sea wearing frocks by Pringle of Scotland. McGinley says his inspirations included The Goonies and Grafteful Dead albums covers.

Posted by Richard Metzger
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01.16.2010
09:34 pm
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Dread Rockers Rule!
01.14.2010
03:34 pm
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?

Posted by Bradley Novicoff
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01.14.2010
03:34 pm
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