There’s no stopping those crazy kids at the Alamo Drafthouse in their continuing assault on good taste and all that is holy. Sommeliers across the planet are going to recoil in horror when they see what Tim League and his crew have unleashed on the world of vinification: Silence Of The Lambs Signature Wines. This is one of those ideas that have you muttering to yourself “why didn’t I think of that?”

Beyond the sublime goofiness of it all, these are serious wines. Hannibal Lecter would never sell a wine before its time.

“The Cannibal Chianti” is a DOCG wine from a vineyard situated between Florence and Sienna. It is a blend of 85% Sangiovese, balanced with smaller contributions of Canaiolo and Malvasia del Chianti. The nose is loaded with dark berry fruit with bass notes of allspice and baked quince. Its mouth feel is medium-bodied and well balanced, with savory plum and tobacco leaf notes leading to a slight sandalwood finish.

I’m looking forward to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Signature Zinfandel. I like my wines big, bold and coagulating.