Above, Eric Idle, looking like a member of the Cockettes (deliberately?) as “The Comparatively Good Fairy”

One of the least-known Monty Python rarities is “The Great Birds Eye Peas Relaunch of 1971,” a short advertising film that was made for the Birds Eye company’s internal use and then apparently locked away from the public eye (and probably the Python’s, too) until it magically appeared on YouTube.

It’s difficult to imagine what the Bird’s Eye brass would have made of the film back then, but the salespeople would have been delighted, I’m sure. It’s Glengarry Glen Ross meets Salvador Dali, minus all the swearing and macho angst.

“I like all my peas on the plate to be the same size.”

“Why?”

“Sheer stupidity.”

This is the most complete version of “the story they said was too uninteresting to be made” that’s out there.