A BDSM-themed duvet from CafePress.
CafePress can be a weird place, man. Of course, it’s not like I didn’t know that already. I mean, all you have to do is visit the online retailer of novelty mugs and other merchandise and type in virtually any word, and CafePress will give you a litany of products to choose from on that very topic. Since my mind has taken up permanent residence in the gutter, I spent some time plugging in some of my favorite words into CafePress’ search field and the results were very enlightening.
Some of the words I gave a test drive (so you can play this fun game at home if you’d like) included the following: sex, porn, and erotica. Based on that trio, you can probably figure out some of the others on your own. While I expected to get some weird results, I honestly wasn’t prepared for all of what CafePress spit back at me. Such as a duvet cover that featured a huge color image of a penis that had been surgically cross-sectioned. I’m pretty sure even Jeffrey Dahmer would likely throw that abomination a huge nod of “NOPE.” But that was just the beginning of my travels through the underbelly of CafePress. Are you into “water sports?” And when I ask that question I mean the kinky kind that involves being peed on by your partner (or partners). Well, if you are (and I don’t judge and neither should you), then I’m thrilled to tell you that pillow cases that look like they have already been peed upon can now be yours!!
The nuttiest thing of all is that this smut isn’t cheap, and most of the duvet covers or comforters will run you over $150. I’ve always said that it costs a lot to look cheap, but now I have an actual dollar amount to attach to that saying. Everything that follows can be purchased at CafePress and is NSFW.
I’ll give you three guesses as to what this is. But you should only need one.
I’ll pass.
Thanks for the heads up!
“Water sports” pillow case.
This is “Steve.”
A pillowcase with an image of a stripper with a G-string full of one dollar bills.
An image from ‘Nights of Horror’ fetish series by illustrator Joe Shuster.
A helpful guide to various sexual positions just for your bed.
Another image from Joe Shuster’s ‘Nights of Horror.’
‘UNIPORN!’
This is NOT the face you want to see when entering someone’s bedroom.
An entirely too large image of a cross-sectioned penis on a king duvet. NOPE!
Previously on Dangerous Minds:
The story of illustrator Joe Shuster: From ‘Superman’ to super sleaze
Sexy pony girls, for all your BDSM rocking horse needs
Keep it prim and proper in the bedroom with this Victorian era sex guide