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Beyond Stupid: The new Obama Conspiracy Theory
03.21.2012
06:24 pm
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Image: McNaughton Fine Art via Boing Boing

For the past week and a half, I’ve been at SXSW and I made a halfhearted attempt to kinda/sorta try to stay away from “news” for that time. I only wanted to get the news via “osmosis” and from scattered clues like newspaper headlines, what people were talking about, snatches seen in passing on TV monitors and so forth. If you ever want to do a full media detox, Austin, Texas during SXSW is a good place to do it, as the distractions are legion.

Nevertheless, avoiding email is a bit more difficult. Recently I signed up for the WorldNet Daily email newsletters because I wanted to read the “report” prepared by Sheriff Joe Arpaio about Obama’s supposedly “forged” birth certificate. Although I could cancel it at any time, I became fascinated by the utterly insane, raving lunatic, foaming-at-the-mouth paranoiac worldview on display at WND—it’s nuttier than anything you’d ever see in the Weekly World News—and 90% of the time when the WND email blasts would come through, I’d inevitably follow the link. Follow that link to a black hole of stunted intelligence, zero common sense and woefully inadequate media literacy…

In the past, I’ve not paid WND, its publisher Joseph Farah, and the other ring-a-dings there much mind. Their “reporting” is so factless and so utterly without value as “information” that it can only be viewed through the filters of entertainment, fiction, low IQ propaganda and gawking at a toxic conservative group-think that’s made America into a dumber, meaner, more aggressively ignorant country in the past decade.

There’s one particular story recently that WND and Farah seem intent on launching, but it’s so fucking stupid that only Matt Drudge has picked up on it. This is the story of one Allen Hulton, the retired Chicago-area postal worker who claims that he met a young Barack Obama at the home of Bill Ayers’ parents in the early 1990s when they were putting him through Harvard and grooming him to be an illegal alien closet socialist atheist usurper of the American Presidency at some point in the future!

Hulton remembers asking the young man what his plans were for the future.

“He looked right at me and told me he was going to be president of the United States,” Hulton says.

“There was a little bit of a grin on his face when he said it - he sounded sure of himself, but not arrogant. I know how people will say things because they have an ambition, but it did not come across that way,” Hulton says. “It came across as if this young black male was telling me he was going to be president, almost as if it were the statement of a scientific fact that had already been determined, as if his being president had been already pre-arranged.”

You see, you eediots! You fuels! The master plan! HAHAHAHAHA! It was so seemple!

Joseph Farah calls the failure of the media anyone to report on the matter, “the day the media died” and wonders aloud “Why they didn’t touch it?”

Very simple. This isn’t just your average Bill Ayers story. This one touches on a raw nerve for the media. It touches on the increasing possibility that Obama is not really constitutionally eligible for the presidency after all – a story pooh-poohed by virtually everyone in the media establishment for the last four years.

Nobody in the media wants to see that story turn out to be real after all. No one in the media wants to see that story turn into the biggest cover-up in American political history. No one in the media wants to be perceived as part of that cover-up.

So the cover-up continues – with more players every day.

But at the end of the day, Americans don’t believe the gatekeepers.

Every poll shows the same thing – half the country suspects Obama has been lying, deceiving and conducting this cover-up all along – with the media serving as his willing accomplices.

The fact that something is being ignored is not proof of its importance or suppression. That Farah clearly wants to believe this nonsense so badly that he can do infinite mental loop-de-loops to contort his worldview to a twisted place where everyone else is wrong except for him, Joe Arpaio and Orly Taitz is a display of a certain kind of widespread 21st century American psychosis brought about by the election of a black Democrat to the Presidency. To be able to view such a thing, in such a pure form is very… ridiculous.

Never say never, of course, when it comes to the Democrats, but it seems like the Republican party has set itself up for an epic drubbing this Fall. Will the extreme right-wingers skulk away—chastised at the ballot box and demographically doomed as of the 2016 election—or will they rage even harder and nuttier against the “totalitarian” (or is it Marxist?) Obama “regime”?

Posted by Richard Metzger
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03.21.2012
06:24 pm
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