Corey Feldman has been all over the news in the last couple of weeks, mostly for a musical performance of the song “Go For It” on The Today Show that many (who probably have not been actually following his musical career for decades) described as “bizarre.” It was really par-for-the-course stuff from Feldman, who has been trying hard but not quite hitting the mark for a long time. His attempts at trying to break through as a singer have been parodied since the 1990s, most famously with the “Josh Fenderman” bit on Mr. Show, which if you haven’t seen yet… watch it right now:
Feldman took a lot of heat for his “Ascension Millenium” video from three years ago, which was widely panned across the Internet, but to be honest, aside from the video itself which is cringe-worthy, I thought the song was kind of a jam.
Of course all of the recent discussion of Feldman’s musical career has led to renewed speculation as to what exactly happened to Feldman during his childhood in Hollywood. He has been very open, both in interviews and in his autobiography Coreyography: A Memoir, about being molested by show-business executives, but has thusfar declined to name his abusers.
This past week Radar Online ran a mega-viral piece which claimed that they would be revealing the “kingpin” of the child sex ring that had ensnared Feldman and his Lost Boys co-star Corey Haim, but so far all the public’s gotten has been a whole lot of “we know who this is and we might tell you soon.”
The situation with child stars like Feldman and the abuse they suffer is utterly heartbreaking, but the fact that Feldman has been so upfront about his molestation perhaps offers some insight into why something like “Go For It” even exists in the first place. An outlet is an outlet and those outlets may not always be pretty or make much sense to anyone but the artist himself.
All of this talk about Feldman’s music recently led me down the rabbithole of examining other actors with dubious musical careers, and eventually brought me to my new favorite Tumblr page: Actors’ Awful Bands.
Below you will find a selection of favorite “awful bands” from that page.
See, some may say Feldman’s music is pretty weird or technically (big finger quotes) “not very good,” but we kind of have an idea of where it’s coming from… What are these others actors’ excuses?
Tina Yothers from Family Ties:
Kiefer Sutherland doing some mediocre country music:
David Faustino, Bud Bundy from Married With Children rapping:
Michael C. Hall from Dexter covering Radiohead:
David Duchovny playing “Hotel California” with Marilyn Manson:
Danny Cooksey, a.k.a. “Sam” from Diff’rent Strokes had this glam metal band in the ‘90s:
Keanu Reeves’ band Becky:
Steven Seagal plays “My God.” My God, is this wretched:
Michael Cera’s folk band:
Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle has a band:
Scarlett Johansson singing “Bizarre Love Triangle”: