Last week we told you about Pet Photo Fun, the surely well-meaning but perhaps a tad strange people who’ll animate a photo of your dead pet singing you a song of consolation from the beyond. I thought that was an ultimate in funerary tackiness, but Cremation Solutions has that shit beat by a country mile. They will craft a cremation urn to resemble the head of your deceased loved one. And for reasons never clarified, their online sample urn is the head of US President Barack Obama.
Personal cremation urns can be designed to look like anyone. We just need good pictures. We prefer one picture from the front and one from the side. Complexions can be adjusted in the final stages and customers get a chance to proof the results. We will produce a computer generated image of what your urn will look like. Once you have approved the image, we will begin production. Like all of our custom made products, their are no refunds and we can not make changes to these urns.
The urns are available in two sizes: the “keepsake” size is essentially a shrunken head which, for $600, will hold only a portion of an adult human’s ashes, or you can opt for a full-sized replica of the decedent’s head for $2,600. Which I guess seems a fair price for a cremains-stuffed uncanny abomination of your dead loved one’s severed fucking head on a plaque? (If the decedent was more the active type, there’s a poseable figure option.)
The personal urn does not come with hair. For hair we can digitally add hair if you wish, as you can see with our sample of president Obama. For people with longer hair we can add a wig from your specifications. This cremation urn comes on an elegant solid marble base. A Plaque and nameplate are also available.
Hat tip to Beth Piwkowski for this find.