Man In ‘Superman’ Shirt Ejaculated Onto Woman Walking From Bus Stop: Police looking into possible involvement of sex offender in bodily fluid incident in Va. (Fox5 News)

They’re Like Bonnie & Clyde. But Dumber: Cops say a bank robber and his siren sidekick posted pics of themselves flashing their stolen cash on Facebook. (The Daily Beast)

Here’s What Whole Foods Offers to Laid-Off Employees: Yesterday, food theme park Whole Foods announced it is laying off 1,500 employees as part of an effort to lower prices. Those laid-off employees are being offered what has been—fairly—described as a “generous” severance. On the other hand, they could have just laid off the top five executives who’ve run Whole Foods’ stock price into the dirt and kept all of the people who do all the real work? Just a thought! (Gawker)

The Average American Worker Earns Less Today Than 40 Years Ago: It’s not just unemployment that matters. Many full-time workers take home less money, after inflation, than in decades. (Fast Company)

Bernie Sanders: Universal Healthcare and Free College Aren’t Radical Ideas, They Are ‘Human Rights’: Sanders remains unwavering in his commitment to establishing education and health care as a basic human right, not a luxury only available to the privileged. He maintains his plan could be easily funded by requiring the wealthy and the largest corporations to pay much higher taxes. He justifies this by pointing out that the wealthiest 400 Americans control more wealth than the poorest 150 million Americans, combined. (U.S. Uncut)

After NASA Announces It Found Water On Mars, Rush Limbaugh Says It’s Part Of A Climate Change Conspiracy: How incredibly dumb would you have to be to listen to this guy for HOURS every day? Filling your head with this stuff must do for your brain what eating shit for every meal would do for your body. (Media Matters)

Fox News is sinking the GOP: One network’s ratings boom is a political party’s election doom: Republicans are again embracing the bigotry of Roger Ailes. It cost them in 2012, and it will cost them in 2016. (Salon)

Police Arrested Someone For Weed Possession Every 51 Seconds In 2014: New statistics show the U.S. war on marijuana is far from over. (Huffington Post)

China’s Leadership: Brilliant or Clueless? The policies and decisions that worked so well in the boost phase of growth—what we might call the era of low-hanging fruit—do not necessarily work in the next phase, where growth has matured and all the costs that were ignored in the boost phase must now be addressed and paid. (Of Two Minds)

Alabama KKK member tells horrified British reporter Auschwitz was ‘summer camp’ for Jews: New BBC documentary follows members of the Klan as they prepare for what they say will be a race war. (The Raw Story)

For A GOP Congress In Chaos, Things Are About To Get Way, Way Worse: “November and December are going to be like Dante’s ‘Inferno’ around here,” Rep. Bill Pascrell (D-NJ) told the New York Times. (Talking Points Memo)

Americans shift away from ‘traditional’ jobs: And by “traditional” jobs, they mean jobs that have benefits, pensions, sick days and shit like that. Now we all work in the “gig economy.” (Yahoo!)

London’s New War: Hipsters Vs. Anarchists, With Breakfast Cereal as a Weapon: Anarchists targeted a café serving breakfast cereal to protest London’s gentrification. Next will come a museum. Why is protesters’ anger focused on small-scale businesses—not corporations? (The Daily Beast)

Below, Rich Fulcher in Comedy Central’s Questionable Science: